Chapter 8 The News
By the time we all get settled in and freshened up, it's dark outside. I catch a glimpse of myself through the window reflection as I walk by. This whole day kind of passed in a blur, I feel my stomach gurgling and check my watch, 7pm. Time for dinner! Finally. I wonder what mom made. I start walking towards the kitchen to see how I can help.
"Hey mom! How can I help? Can I set the table for you?" I walk in, and the table is already set. Dinner is sitting on the table too and almost everyone is in their seats waiting for me. Mom looks up at me smiling as she sets one more dish on the table. "No honey it's all ready, why don't you sit down so we can eat." I smile back at her and take a seat. Cal is on my right, already sitting. I look him over and notice he dressed nice for dinner and even combed his hair back with a little gel. Smirking to myself I realize he dressed up for my parents. That's actually so sweet. I didn't realize I was still looking at him until he smacked my leg under the table and gave me a "Um helloooo!!" look. Oops. I feel my cheeks heat up in a blush, busted. Smiling back at him, I sheepishly look over to my parents and see them in a deep conversation, whispering heatedly with each other.
Rolling my eyes, "Wow mom!" I say loudly, trying to catch their attention. "This dinner looks amazing, it smells so good. Should we start eating?" She smiles at me as if nothing happened between her and dad right now and passes me the bowl of mashed potatoes. "Dig in you two, Cal, I don't want you to be shy, eat." He nods at her and begins putting food on his plate.
We all eat in silence for a few minutes, it's not an awkward silence, but it is eerily quiet. Which is out of the ordinary because normally we are each fighting to get a word in edgewise.
"Once you're done eating Rose, let's go out back on the porch swing so we can talk okay honey?" Suddenly my mouth is dry and I find it hard to swallow my potatoes. I glance up at her and just nod. Dad is just quietly eating his dinner and doesn't say anything at all. He doesn't even look at me, his eyes are down on his plate as he picks at his food. My heart squeezes in pain for them because I know, whatever this is, they're scared or worried about something, for me. And I hate seeing them feel this way.
"Sure mom." I push down my uneasy feelings and try to smile brightly at her, to show her I'm okay. But I know my smile doesn't reach my eyes.
"So Cal, I heard you got a promotion! That's so exciting, what do you do? Where are you going??" Mom asked, trying to fill in the silent void in the room. "I did, thank you. I work in a third party protection agency. And with my promotion, I have to go to Switzerland." A protection agency... I wonder to myself. Mom speaks again, "A protection agency!" I chuckle in my head, we always think the same things, Mom and I. "Yes ma'am, I'm not at liberty to discuss any of our clients, you understand." Mom shakes her head, "Oh no honey, I don't want to know." She laughs and shakes her head. "I don't want to be involved at all, in anything, where someone needs protecting." Cal chuckles and we all fall into a comfortable silence again.
Finally we are all done and I've carried all the dishes into the kitchen for dad. Mom always cooks, Dad always cleans. There's never any fight or fuss about it.
I look over at Mom and she's staring deep into her glass of wine, swirling it around in her glass subconsciously. I can tell she's deep in thought. I find myself frowning. It's time for this to all stop. I walk over and grab her hands, "Come on Mama, let's go talk." She looks up at me and smiles, letting me lead her outside to the porch. I yell out to Cal, who I know is sitting in the living room watching TV, "I'm going outside for a bit, don't wait up!" He doesn't answer. I feel bad because I haven't spent much time with him tonight, I'll make it up to him tomorrow.
Sitting outside now on the swing Mom says, "We have to wait on your father, but tell me what's new."
Still holding her hand, I lay my head over on her shoulder and close my eyes. Taking a big sigh, "Honestly mom, nothing is new. Just this talk you guys need to have with me that feels like a dark cloud over my head." She lays her cheek against my head, still leaning on her, and stays silent. We just swing back and forth quietly for a while. Finally I hear the door open and Dad comes and sits across from us in another chair. He lays his head back and just gazes at the stars.
Finally Mom sits up and adjusts herself so she's facing me, I look her in her eyes and see tears glimmering from the moonlight. She grasps both of my hands, and I hear her taking a deep breath. She closes her eyes and I watch her tears slide down her cheeks.
My heart feels like it's being squeezed. I can't take my mom being so sad. My rock, falling apart right in front of me, I can't take it. I feel my own eyes welling up with tears and squeeze her hands tighter. "What's wrong Mama?" I say quietly, almost scared to make too much noise. She opens her eyes and looks at me with such a fierce expression of love and gently strokes my cheek, cupping my chin. Tears flowing freely at this point, from both of us. Dad continues being silent, I can hear the wildlife around us, alive. Owls and cicadas chirping away.
"Rose, I have a story to tell you... and I need you to listen to me. Every single detail of it. It's gonna sound a little crazy, but I swear I haven't lost my mind. Don't ask me any questions until I finish. Do you understand what I'm saying?" Dad sits up and leans forward, both elbows on his knees, holding his face. He gives mom an encouraging smile, I nod my head. "I understand, let's get this over with so we can forget about it and move on. Whatever you guys have to say, it's okay. It doesn't change anything, I love you both and we're gonna be fine. We're all gonna be fine." I smile brightly, as if to show how brave I am, when I'm shaking on the inside.
For some reason this only makes my parents more sad and I see both their expressions drop as they look at each other.
"Rose, this all takes place before you were born..."