Between Death and Forgetfulness

The sound of hurried footsteps arose, even in the snow, signaling her rushed arrival. The owner put down the last of his utensils that he'd been cleaning since the morning and awaited her entry through the wooden door which would be any moment now. It didn't take long for her to come crashing through the door.

She flung the door open with a bang and stood huffing and sweating like a mad boar, her eyes open wide.

"Old man!", she forced her voice out, struggling to take in oxygen, "Lubbock...where's Lubbock?"

"Lubbock? Well, he left earlier this morning...to find you two."

"Old man! Seraph...he...he fell down!", she was still gasping for air, "He fell down the crevasse! You have to come!"

The owner hurriedly wiped his hand on a cloth, mumbling something under his breath.

"Where?", he quickly put on a coat and followed her outside.

"We were coming up that way", she pointed in a direction, "It just happened so quickly."

She hurried back, with the owner in tow. The two were exhausted by the time they got there.

"Over there!", she pointed before running over there herself.

"Wait, girl!", the owner stopped her short.

She turned around, with a questioning look on her face. The owner himself wore a pensive look, as if he understood something she had no knowledge of.

"We can't go there", he said in a low voice.

"But Seraph-"

"You must forget about it! There is no way we're going there. Come back if you know what's good for you."

"No! I...I can't leave without Seraph. He has to be alive. It's my fault we got in this trouble in the first place. Old man...", she pleaded with him with a stern look of worry, "You can't just abandon him."

The stubborn old man didn't like the sound of that idea but he knew he would cave under her pressure. And he also knew that she wouldn't give up even if he left.

"Come with me, I'll show you the way. But I won't go with you. You better remember that."

She sighed with relief and nodded before following him towards town.

****************

When I woke up, I was aching all over. Though, strangely enough, there wasn't any major injury. It was hard to believe I'd fallen down a mountain, and was now buried under a dozen boulders. At least my upper half was still free so it was easy to breathe and I could make sense of the world around me. It was rather dark down there, though not entirely. There was a strange, very subtle residual light in there.

Its not that there was any apparent entryway where the light could come in, yet it wasn't pitch dark in there, almost like an invisible light illuminated that place. The ground was level, clean, like a stage, even though I was buried under the rubble. It was a strange place indeed. And the more I looked around, the stranger I found it.

At first I kept trying to pull myself out but I wasn't really feeling up to it so I eventually gave up. I decided I'll wait and rest up a bit before freeing myself. So there I kept lying, facedown, tasting something like dust or ash in my mouth. Then I suddenly realized that it wasn't cold there at all. I lifted my head to confirm this. Instead what I found was a little girl, sitting across from me, with her legs folded. She looked almost like a doll, with long hair and a fragile constitution. Her skin was pale, her eyes a light blue but utterly empty.

I looked in amazement for a little while, unable to tell if she was real or just a mannequin placed in front of me. The more I looked, the more livelier she became, until I was convinced that she was a living, breathing partner of mine in this darkness. Her dark hair flowed at her back once in a while, almost teasingly as if there was any wind down here. There wasn't.

Eventually, I came to realize that this wasn't the first time I'd seen that little girl. She was the one I had killed when Azag trapped Chopper and I in his illusion. She was the one I had seen in Wallach when I was walking through the storm of nightmares. Back in Wallach, I had seen Eso's grandfather as well. And I could tell he was no longer in this world, so I had assumed that this little girl too was perhaps someone dead. It was the same with Azag. If all the illusions he created were of dead people then she was dead too.

But now that she was sitting right in front of me, all made up like a doll, I wondered if I was in a dream.

"Hey", I decided it would be easier to just ask, "Are you dead?"

She didn't speak a word, remaining as still as a frozen statue. So I just gazed at her even more amazed or perhaps...amused. There was just something about this little girl that made me want to keep watching her. She wasn't even doing anything but I suppose it looked like she would shatter any minute. So even if I wanted to look away, I simply couldn't avert my eyes from her.

"Hey", I asked again, "Are you someone I forgot?"

There was no answer and I thought, for a minute, that she would stay about as motionless as before. But then I saw a big round pearly tear escaped her left eye and rolled down her cheek. My eyes opened wide as I stared at her, dumbfounded. Her lips slightly pursed together, the tears kept streaming down but she didn't move an inch. The doll stayed there but I had gotten my answer.

I HAD forgotten her.