How do I face her

Benson's POV

I felt so foolish

How could I be this foolish

Why didn't I allow her explain herself, why was too stupid not to listen to her.

I hissed in frustration and roughly ran my fingers through my hair and didn't know what to say.

"That girl loves you very much, only a blind man won't be able to see that".jay muttered out those words in disappointment.

I stared at him but didn't say a word 

He was right, she was right all along.

"This is bad ". Julius murmured 

"I told you to take things easy, but you wouldn't, all you wanted was revenge and nothing else ". Julius spoke firmly

I took a sip of the water and a cold shiver run through my body and I couldn't breathe.

All this while I was wrong, and she was right.

"I have to go, I have a meeting in the next couple of hours " he stood up from his seat and was about walking away when I stopped him. 

"Thanks". I murmured

He shakes his head and stared at me 

"I didn't do it for you, I did it for Jesse, I needed her name to be cleared because I knew she has gone through a lot "he spoke firmly 

He was about leaving when he turned and stared at me 

"Jesse is an amazing woman, it's your lost if you don't end up with her".he declared those words like he was so sure of it before walking away.

I hit the table with anger bringing the attention of few people to us. 

"Let's go ". Julius stood up, and I stood up with him, 

We left the eatery and went back to the car 

"Stay in the passengers seat I Will drive". I nod my head to him and went to the passenger's seat.

I relaxed on the chair with my eyes closed in pains.

I was in pains, I couldn't help it.

I felt tears threatening to fall down from my eyes and I couldn't hold it anymore.

"Calm down Benson". Julius taps me on the shoulder before putting on the car and drove off.

I sign in pains as the tears drop on my cheek. 

The last time I cried over Jesse was when I thought she cheated on me, but all that was a misunderstanding.

I noticed the car stopped, I opened my eyes and noticed we are in a bar 

"Come on ". Julius spoke up and open the car door while I did the same.

We walk into the bar and took an available seat and ordered for a bottle of beer .

The drink was brought in, and I opened it in frustration and poured out some in the glass before emptying all in my mouth.

We sat there in silence until I spoke up 

"We should, I do?" I muttered out those words to nobody in particular.

Julius stared at me but did not say a word.

I hissed and took another sip of the beer 

"I can't even look at her in the eyes ". I muttered out in shame.

Julius took in a deep breath and took another sip of his drink before speaking up.

You fuck up man, you fucked up big time".he shakes his head and stared at me with pity 

"I know, I fucking know". I whispered in regrets and ran my fingers through my hair in pains

"What should I do, I can lose Jesse". I murmured truthfully 

"Do you think it's too late ?". I asked 

Julius stared at me but didn't say a word.

I grumble and took another sip of my drink 

"You should go home". Julius declared and stood up from his seat, which I did the same.

I followed him out the bar, and he drove me back home.

We got home, and he parked the car at the car garage before we came out of the car 

"I need to go, take care of yourself".he taps my shoulder and l walk out of the gate 

I stood in front of the door and felt my legs getting heavy with fear 

I took in a deep breath before entering the house.

I got in and saw Linda clearing the table.

"Good evening sir". She greeted.

"Evening, where is Lilly ?". I asked. 

"Miss Jesse has already put her to bed".she replied

I nod my head at her before going to Lilly's room.

I entered her room and saw her sleeping peacefully.

I walk up to her bed and softly place kisses on her forehead before leaving.

I walk straight to my room but couldn't open the door.

I felt fear and panic run through my blood as I stood by the door.

How can I face her after all I've said to her 

How can I face her when I made her go through some much pain 

How can I face her and apologize to her after everything I did.

I felt fear run through my body as I open the door and walk in.

I hissed in relief when I realized the lights were put off.

I stared at the bed and noticed Jesse was sleeping at the other end of the bed.

I walk up to the bathroom, took a quick bath and changed my cloths before climbing on the bed while I stared at her back at me.

I moved closer to her until I could feel her  Scent.

I closed my eyes and thought of how much I missed her and everything about her.

I seize my breath and called out her name but got no response from her.

I hissed softly and force myself to sleep, I will have to face everything by tomorrow.

Authors note.

Hey everyone I will be updating the last chapters by tomorrow 

Thanks for reading.