WAKING UP

MC's POV

The cold pavement pressing against my back fades as I slowly become aware of my surroundings. The bright city lights are gone, replaced by an ethereal glow. Standing before me is an old man, his attire reminiscent of a Jedi master—complete with a flowing cape.

I've read fanfictions about this. Heck, I've even read fanfictions making fun of this. But experiencing it firsthand? Not so amusing.

"Hey!" The God says, his tone calm yet authoritative. "Stop memeing and come here. I already stopped my mewing session because of you!"

"You look like an old man; it's over for you, bruh," I blurt out. Really, I expected something more from a God. His fit, despite the old-fashioned Jedi master vibe, is actually pretty lame.

"Okay, I'm sending you to the Naruto Universe," he declares.

What the actual hell? Naruto? Of all the worlds out there, why choose one where death is practically a daily occurrence?

"Well, a loser like you wouldn't understand," the God snaps, reading my thoughts. "You may have read those stupid fanfictions, but this is the first time I'm doing this! AND YOU CALLED MY FIT MID, YOU FUCKING SCALLYWAG!"

I raise my arms and yell, "BEAM ME UP, SCOTTY!" In response, the God starts mewing—yes, mewing—and gives me a sigma stare before everything goes dark.

When I open my eyes again, the surroundings are completely unfamiliar. The first thing I see is an old man smiling down at me.

'Great, just my luck,' I think, realizing that the old man is none other than the Third Hokage himself, Hiruzen Sarutobi. His eyes are kind, but I can't shake off the fanfiction-induced suspicion.

"Your expressions are just like Tobirama-sensei's," he says softly. "Well, I will wait for you to learn how to say Hiruzen."

'Right, because in every fanfiction, the Third Hokage turns out to be evil,' I think, skepticism lacing my thoughts. 'He's probably planning to use me for some future scheme.'

As I lie there in his arms, I realize that I've been given a second chance in a world filled with ninjas, jutsus, and a whole lot of danger. My new life in the Naruto Universe has just begun, and I can't afford to waste it.

'I still think your fit is mid.'

And I see a half-transparent middle-finger that probably belongs to god.

And all I think is:

'FUCK THOSE FANFICTION WRITERS FUCKING ZERO IMAGINATION R*TARDS!!!'