Chapter 66 – Dungeon Eight

"Petra-sama and Lotte-sama! What a brilliant surprise you two are here and you've even brought guests! How comes you've decided to pay our guild a visit!?"

After entering into the guildmaster's room, we're greeted by a pink haired woman with jet black eyes, she's slightly tall in height and is wearing a very pink looking outfit. Unlike the pink cotton candy haired elf alchemist I remember seeing in the capital, hers is more of a hot pink.

Is this who priestess gets her speech sama thing off? Both those two also have differing reactions from seeing this woman once again, Petra can't help but facepalm and Charlotte just looks a little confused.

Me and Nathan really aren't going to have that much a reaction to the hyperactive woman, we don't know her after all.

The room looks kinda similar to something that a CEO might use, maybe? It's hard to describe but it does have that feeling to it. Us four are all still standing despite there being a couch in the room, that Penelope woman is sitting behind her desk.

"*Sigh*, see you've changed your appearance once again magi guildmaster"

"Petra-sama is correct, your hair is now pink Miss Penelope-sama"

While those two are responding to her, let's do my curiosity test, this woman seems very powerful at first glance despite maybe a little slow between the ears.

'Status'

[Name: Penelope | Species: Human | Level: 702]

[Health 10,000/10,000]

[Stamina 27,777/30,000]

[Magicka 30,000/30,000]

'Damn, she's the highest-level human I've come across! We shouldn't need to fight but our total numbers would be kinda similar if I invest the rest of my points, did waste a lot on gambling after all'

"Well having the same colour while stuck in this form is such a bore! Who are your cute and handsome friends anyway?"

While she says that, she gets up and walks around her desk to get a closer look at me and the knight, her calling me cute almost pisses me off slightly. Petra is the only one who's allowed to call me that, the knight has zero reaction to being called handsome though, his heart is clearly reserved for someone else.

"Careful what you say or do next otherwise, Ikarus might bite"

I won't literally but Petra is clearly implying I can hit this woman if I want, she seems annoying but it should be alright.

"Oh, does this chubby one have a nasty side to her?"

This irritating woman now decides to pinch my cheek while also calling me chubby. Fuck her, she deserves a punch now. That wasn't a small pinch after all.

I give a strong punch aiming for any part of her and then I accidently hit one of her breasts, I know she's taller than me but damn it, I was aiming lower than that. At least it looks like it hurt, thankfully.

"Ouch! You were right Petra-sama! This one does have a bite to her!"

"You shouldn't have pinched Ikarus, can we just get to our point already or should Ikarus hit you again?"

"You distracted me by bringing up my hair! I've already been stuck in this form for long enough, an appearance change every now and then is needed just to keep things fresh!"

That's the second time she's said something about being stuck in a form, I know we should focus on the next dungeon but now I can't help be curious on what the hell she's on about.

"Okay, this is annoying me now, what do you mean you're trapped in that form?"

"The thing is Ikarus-sama, Miss Penelope-sama used to be a man"

"Actually, technically I still kinda am! Mentally at least, this body of mine of mine is just a cause of cursed magic, it's just an unfortunate experiment I conducted on myself that now has no cure! Miss does fit a lot better than Mr though for someone in my predicament!"

"She's an idiot Ikarus, this is a consequence of mixing dangerous potions with forbidden perversion magic, something like this is down to utter stupidity"

"How was I supposed to know the effect would be permanent?"

"Maybe because it said so on the bottle?"

"Who reads the label before drinking something anyway?"

"*Sigh*"

Sighhh, more gender changing shenanigans, wasn't me and Ariza alone enough? So if this person technically is a guy, the name Penelope seems a bit feminine for a person born male though. Also I think I can now understand Petra's irritation and her allowing priestess to take the lead, this place is just another annoying hellhole.

[<Names can change depending on the circumstances -user->]

'Huh? I guess that's why you didn't fight me calling you Aesa for too long then'

[<...>]

Of course I knew she might not respond to that, I do wonder if this Penelope person could've helped Ariza changed form permanently if he was able to do it but the way Petra was speaking, that sounds like a bad idea, maybe it has some severe side effects or something like that. Could be this person wasn't so hyperactive and jumpy beforehand and that's a side effect, Petra definitely would've mentioned it if it was safe to do.

Let's try and go back on topic, the more time we spend speaking with this nutjob, the longer it'll take to enter the dungeon. This is getting slightly dumb now though, these types of weird conversations just never seem to stop. I'm not the only one starting to look really frustrated now, Petra seems to share my annoyance.

"*Sigh*... Look guildmaster, for the love of the Gods, can we get back onto the topic on why we're here now?"

In the pink haired person's defence, I did kinda distract the conversation that time but she continued it on.

"Of course Petra-sama! I can focus if you want me to, just tell me what you need and I'll be happy to assist!"

At least this person is willing to try and be helpful, if she pinches my cheek again, I will punch her though. Next time I'll aim for the face, give her a black eye. Ain't nobody allowed to pinch my cheek other than Petra! I mean, she hasn't yet and I'd rather not be pinched but my thought still stands!

"We're here for the dungeon Miss Penelope-sama"

"The priestess is correct, we've been told there's a dungeon under your guild, is that true or not?"

It even sounds like priestess is getting a little tired with this man turned woman now, hopefully we can get this sorted quickly.

"Ah, it turns out we're leaking information like a sieve again, that's unfortunate but it's not the end of the world! To answer your question, yes, we have a dungeon master currently living down in the basement"

Well that doesn't sound sus at all, I guess the amount of times the word dungeon gets mentioned, weird sounding stuff like that would come up a lot. If there's a master, does that mean we can complete this dungeon quickly then? I'm not one hundred percent sure but if there's a master to this dungeon, we can either kill them or talk it out, that seems to be the trend right now. I'm all for combat dungeons but it would be nice for another quick one.

(Charlotte) "Can we access it and speak to them then?"

"Of course! You might have some issues though"

(Petra) "Why's that?"

"The man's a little crazy, we mostly use that area for training purposes but if you're looking for dungeons, then you'll definitely need to have words with him!"

Oh great, another crazy person, let's just power on and get this done then, my impatience to people like this is starting to grow thin.

"What types of things are we to expect down there? You said it's used for training, knowing you lot it's highly unstable and unsafe."

Petra does like to try and get as much information as possible but in this case, it's probably pointless.

"You plan ahead too much Petra-sama, it's perfectly safe! He normally is in a good mood so you should be safe, we only have an accident or death every month or so! Ask Allie the receptionist what pod to use and she'll guide you to the basement"

It's not really guiding if she only points us in the right direction but might as well get this over with, another frustrating dungeon incoming probably, at least that's how it sounds just from talking to this person.

__________

"This place is horrible, why would anyone want to train down here?"

"It's not the nicest Ikarus-sama"

"You have to take what you can get Ikarus, the knights can sometimes have terrible working conditions as well"

"..."

We end up heading back to the reception and then taking another glass portal into the basement of this place, the receptionist was as rude as usual so we didn't even bother responding to her.

The basement itself has multiple levels all with stairways in each corner, we've already gone down four flights of stairs in this cobbled stone, damp basement and still don't seem to know where this is leading. It's not leaking from the lake mind you, just it does seem quite damp.

"That man turned woman better have not sent us into a trap"

"Ikarus does have a slight point, that person doesn't seem all that trustworthy"

At least I'm not the only one who might think that, even the knight is a little unsure on that character we just met.

"Miss Penelope-sama isn't like that Ikarus-sama, you don't have to worry as well Nat"

"Priestess is right here, that idiot holds no threat"

Then if Petra says so, it's best to just carry on. This place does seem like a good area to ambush someone though, it's strange to think it's used for training seeing that it just looks like a shitty unused basement right now. There probably is something like an epic dungeon at the bottom of it though. Or an annoying one.

We walk further down another stairway in the never-ending basement and wouldn't you know it, it's finally ended. There's no more stairs leading downwards and we've arrived at a heavy looking wooden door.

"After you"

I open up the door for everyone and Petra can't help but make a little joke, she was right behind me after all.

"Heh, trying to use me as cannon fodder Ikarus?"

I know she's clearly joking but still, I was just doing that whole 'holding the door for a lady' type of thing. There still is some man in me left believe it or not, as little as that may be now.

"Hey! I was just being gentlemanly like, next time I'll be sure to walk ahead and let the door slam into your face"

"Heh, won't happen since I'll have to hold it open for you next"

She lightly chuckles while saying that and heads into the room first, sometimes I think this woman may be a little tomboyish. I say a little though, how many tomboys like to force their unofficial partner into wearing loads of dumb dresses and outfits? I found her response humorous and understood what she meant behind it anyway.

We all end up entering the door and come across another dark, damp and dingy basement room, this time the room is a lot larger than the rest and has a man sitting cross-legged in the centre of it.

I've already got a good idea who this guy is, he's got to be the dungeon master. I wonder if he's as high levelled as that vampire dungeon master, he definitely has an odd aura about him but unsure if it's strength or not.

'Status'

[<Status screen does not work against chosen target>]

'Huh? Why is it not working?'

[<Aesa is unsure>]

This is different from scanning a phoenix, his status screen won't even partially come up, no migraine as well. Just who the hell is he to stop his stats being shown?

Before I have the chance to speak to Petra on why the status isn't working against the guy sitting, he stands up and walks over to us.

"Ho-ho-ho, looks like some very modular fellows have joined me in this cosy pit, I'll come welcome you in an tad"

Modular? That makes no sense, this guy speaks weird as well, he even sounds like a jester or something. I know that Penelope person said this guy is crazy but I didn't think he'd sound it as well.

"Are you the dungeon master of this place?"

He gets up off the floor while I ask him a question and walks over to us.

Now that he's gotten closer, I can finally see his appearance in this darkish place. He has long black hair, black eyes and looks like he hasn't slept in years. In all honestly, he might even be a she but it's really difficult to tell, this person looks half dead, reason I'm thinking male is down to the chest being as flat as a board. Oh, Miss Penelope also did say he's a he as well.

"I am known as the immortal God Lyssa and you lucky creatures have stumbled into my play pit, please do mind the furniture and my wife, she's sitting upside down behind you, Ah, mind the smell as well, had roses for breakfast"

Well... this dungeon master is batshit crazy, this is going to be an odd experience then. Keep in mind, there is literally nothing in this cobbled room except us and him, I even look behind us when he finishes and yeah, nothing. Unsure if this guy is dangerous or not right now.

"Erm... great and wise one... we come to this here dungeon to try and complete it. Would you be willing to help us out?"

Okay, Petra's on the spot thinking at times works brilliantly, maybe her acting voice could a bit more convincing but this guy seems to be lapping it up. If this guys the dungeon master, could he just complete us before we even have to do the dungeon? Wherever that may be, there really doesn't look to be anything like that in this room.

"Ho-ho-ho, such an insignificant task would be mind-numbingly boring for me to achieve, there at least needs to be some challenge for you little ants to do"

There is a question that still remains and still hasn't been answered, where is the dungeon? This room has nothing inside it other than this guy here, does it need to be created or something?

"Excuse me God Lyssa, where is your dungeon anyway?"

(Nathan) "Yeah, we're a little confused"

Priestess asks before I get the chance, I'm guessing she sees him as male as well then. I guess him calling himself a God is a good indicator, it would be Goddess if he was female thinking about it.

"Oh, your mortal insignificant eyes cannot bear witness currently to what this place eats, allow me to staple them with beauty ho-ho-ho"

After the madman chuckles, he snaps his fingers and everything in the room changes in an instant, we now appear to be in a different world where everything looks distorted. Floating islands, upside down buildings, it's almost as if the land has no fundamental laws like gravity. The sky looks red in some places as well, blue in others and even green.

There's no more detailed description I can give of this place, it almost looks like some artists failed painting, some aspects like the sideways stairs are in some points of view, others like floating heads, it's honestly a little overwhelming to my senses.

Hang on, is that a table of dogs playing poker floating past or am I imagining it? This place is giving me an actual migraine now, all our party seem to be in agreement, even Petra looks to be getting a headache from all this as well.

(Ikarus) "What the hell is this place?"

(Petra) "We mean you no harm powerful one, this place is not meant for mortal eyes or senses"

(Nathan) "Urgh, I feel a little sick"

"My Lord tells me this place is metaphorically cursed, whatever that means"

He looks a little offended from our words but very quickly changes his look, at least this mad guy can understand why this place might be a little much for us.

"Have you mortals never visited the feasting realm? The cheese here is to die for! But if you're having this reaction, it might be better to enter into a less beautiful world"

He snaps his fingers once again and we arrive at what appears to be a peaceful flowery meadow, that's a very big difference from that overly confusing place we just came from. Sensory overload is now fading thankfully enough.

I guess this is how the mages in this guild train then, this place is almost like a virtual reality simulator and this guy probably brings the training mages into dangerous situations. Is it real though? No, we're inside a dungeon so it shouldn't be, right?

[<...>]

Even Aesa can't give me an answer right now, this is beyond confusing. This isn't a thought for now though.

"Since you mortals want to receive my blessing, I'd normally give you an easy task destroying a world or something similar..."

Easy task? This guy isn't even sarcastic, that's an easy task for him? Okay, he either is a God or is even crazier than first thought, everyone in our party is purposely trying to watch what we say around him otherwise things might fuck up even further.

"... Today I'm feeling happy as a mule though! I'll just give you a few questions, then bless you if your answers tickle my fancy!"

Oh God, it's going to be riddles from a madman, what have we done to deserve this?

"First question! Make sure you sure you answer truthfully, I'll know if you're lying..."