Capitulo 6

-Present-

Inside the sword, Chris covered his face with his hands as he remembered that damn day, the day when his life was transformed into an endless nightmare, one in which all he could think about was killing, where every fiber of the I was screaming for it and every second that passed without doing it would feel like suffering from severe abstinence, which was as if he were drowning but he was dying of thirst at the same time, as if his whole body was on fire but at the same time he was cold-dead, as if a million ants crawled under his skin wanting to tear it apart.

"If only that day I could not grab the gun and die"

With all the frustration accumulated with respect to that day and added to the recent events, Chris failed to contain his emotions and began to cry and hit the "ground" like a child doing a tantrum because they took away his favorite toy. It was only after a good while that he could calm down and regain his composure, but he did not say anything, just stood there lying on the "ground" watching the infinite emptiness that surrounded him, until an equally empty smile appeared in his face.

"The past cannot be changed, I should simply accept that I will always live this nightmare, where I cannot have family, friends, or partner ... (Sigh) I should accept that I am a murderer, and that I was born to be one"

The truth was that Chris used to be like anyone, with dreams, hopes, insecurities, fears and everything else, but everything changed that day, not for killing someone, that was just one more drop for the glass he called sanity , but for what that act had awakened within.

And that was a deep desire to kill every person he saw, to gut them and make them eat their organs, to break each of their bones, to separate their limbs from their bodies while they watched, to hang them and skin them alive.

He still remembered how at first he tried to contain himself, how he tried to enclose those thoughts in the depths of his mind and tried to pretend that he was normal, but every time he was surrounded by people were already unknown, his friends, even his family, something deep in him yelled at him to kill them all, to take their eyes and teeth out and make them eat or to cut off their tongue and other members one by one with a knife to feed them to them same to others, and that in the end he made them beg to kill them to simply not to do so and let them die slowly while watching them, of course he managed to control himself and ignore those thoughts every time, but with it came abstinence and the nightmare worsened . Until a few months after shooting the man, I can't stand the desire to kill and abstinence for not doing it and destroy his entire room in an attack of anger, there was no other reason just pure anger, unexpectedly that calmed his desire to kill a little .

He still remembered how he tried to diminish his desire to kill through fights, how he got involved in any bar or street fight that came his way, as he enrolled in any place where fights were necessary; Boxing, karate, judo, etc. In the hope of being able to placate, even if it is a little his desire, only to end up being arrested or expelled every time he fought to lose control and almost kill the opponent, however, it was not his fault, it was just that every time he received or it struck, something inside it was lit, like a small fire that was consuming every rational thought until it became a forest fire leaving behind only the desire to kill and the need to destroy everything.

He still remembered the multiple times where neither his body nor his mind could support him more and he tried to commit suicide, only to end up being incapable; Like when he swallowed a lot of rat poison just to have his body end up vomiting for no reason throwing the poison, or like trying to get in front of a truck that was speeding, but his body froze and the truck passed him , or when he tried to stab himself in the heart, but his hands stopped causing the knife to be inches away from him or causing him to deviate and stab himself elsewhere, and many other failed occasions. However, it was not because he did not want to die or that his fear of death prevented him, but it was his own survival instinct that prevented him, forcing him to stay alive even when he wanted to die, forcing him to remain in that nightmare.

He still remembered how he began to hurt himself every time he felt anxiety or believed that his desire to kill overcame him, he still remembered how slowly he became addicted to pain, since it was the only thing that allowed him to release his dark desires as well as lessen his anxiety. He could still remember everything he got for that addiction; Every hit and every bruise, every cut and every scar, every burn and every mark, every broken bone and every cast. At first they were only small things, like dropping some hot coffee in his hand, pinching himself until he left a mark or hitting a wall until he bled, but the more his anxiety and his desire to kill grew, I need more and more pain, like put his hand in a flame, cut himself deeper and deeper, throw himself against a wall or anything else that made him suffer, if he had continued for sure he would have died horribly.

However, in spite of all achievement, he restrained himself because he moved away from people and did not approach or talk to them unless necessary, he moved from his hometown, erased his friends' contacts, and looked for a job where he did not I had to talk to a lot of people, it was also thanks to classical music, which helped him calm his desire to kill while ignoring people.

"In the end nothing matters, morals and laws are restrictions, justice is an illusion and peace is a lie ... I am in another world no? Then why should I continue to be bound by those things? Because I simply do not do what I want without worrying about the consequences? And that if I immerse the world in a sea of ​​blood? And that if I kill millions of people? And that if they blame me as evil and everyone hates me? While I am happy that it matters what others feel or what happens to them? "

While those thoughts swirled in Chris's mind, a smile formed on his face, a twisted smile filled with madness that only grew and strengthened the longer the thoughts lasted. After a while a window opened in front of Chris.

"Second round"