Sage State

Michael woke up the next morning, in the same state as when he lost his virginity but weirdly he didn't hurriedly washed his pants and changing to a new one, somehow those uncomfortable feeling on his lower body is ignored by him.

You know, after a masturbation or sex or basically any action that allow you to reach climax, you sometimes felt so calm or felt like flying, as far as Michael have heard it was termed 'Sage State' and now Michael is in it now.

Lying on the bed with his eyes blinking regularly, Michael thought 'Ah… I get it, I finally get it.' Despite having no Real Life experience, the stories, the characters, the struggles that he have read is enough. 'Whenever it's an emperor or the richest man or an immortal or whatever he or she is, everything that you want to achieve is based on 'Power', this 'Power' could be an political influence like a leader of a nation or pure power like an powerful immortal, whatever their desire is, whenever it's to become the richest man on earth, to become an immortal, to live a debauchery life, or to live peacefully in the countryside, all of that is based on 'Power', the 'Power' could be said as a basic 'Output' that person can make then 'Intelligence' that worked as an amplifier based on percentage, if that person is 'stupid' then the percentage is bellow 100% or even negative sometimes, if that person is 'smart' then the percentage is at least 100% or more.'

Michael get up as his thought have finished, of course he already know this but just like knowing that 'working hard will allow you to live better as long as not done excessively' but never implement it in his life and Michael also know he is not 'smart' and he is definitely 'stupid' that's why he like to read a manga or novel or watch an anime with a smart Main Character or Psychological one because it made him feel smart, because it make him feel like he can understand what other people are feeling, but at least he know this if he is 'stupid' then he is a trustworthy 'smart' person that is on his side and he maybe know where to get them.

Michael finished his thought again as he finished washing his pants and as he put an a new clean pants he added lastly to complete his 'deduction' 'and luck is also another amplifier at least until a person can know about everything that can affect him and process that information at the same time.'

Then in the following month, Michael still had to stay indoors, well not that he liked to go outside anyway. In that one month he changed his schedules, previously he would watch anime, read manga or novels while relaxing, sitting, laying on the bed, etc.

Now? He used at least 3 hours of his time to exercise while reading novel, yeah if he didn't read novels while exercising it would only take an hour but in that hour he would have been bored but most importantly he would have his head filled with self-criticism, self-loathing, and such.

You could say he is a little like Kim Dokja, he survive by reading other's 'people' life, and just like in Omniscient Reader, other people wouldn't be able to understand this feeling just like how Michael wouldn't be able to understand just how they could live their days without reading a chapter of some novel, or manga or perhaps an episode of an anime.

Sometimes he self-criticizing himself in the middle of his exercise, after all he couldn't hold his phone an read the novel on it while doing a sprint, push up, dead lift, and such could he, like 'why do you even do this, you know this is useless right, even if you succeed, so what that effort that took months, years would vanish in a month at most, is it really worth it?' or 'why are you even doing this, for strength? Hahaha… what those muscle can do, a single bullet, a single dagger, any small incident can still end your life.'

Even though he wouldn't be able to understand another person perfectly just like how they wouldn't be able to him, he always wondered, did other people live with those kinds of though every second they live? If yes, just how did they handle it? If no, how did that even happen?

"Am I really worth?" Michael looked at himself in the mirror, 'Worthy of what?' a voice asked him.

"Worth of everything, this grey world that could granted my wishes, me being alive here, me living here instead of my not too good dad, me that one lucky sperm instead of billions other." Michael said while looking over his whole body, the face that bears acne scars from his impatience, his body that is fat in his opinion.

"ARE YOU WORTHY? TELL ME." Sometimes Michael just have this episode of depressed thought that is multiple times more negative than normal, how did he take care of it, by watching anime, reading novels or mangas.

That's how his live is always been, and now there is an additional way, listening to the lives of the 'people' he summoned and talked with them.

To him, their lives is beautiful, something he desired, no matter the pain, sadness or suffering because if there is the pain then there will be the pleasure, joy, happiness.

Michael plopped down on the bed, before he opened the notebook and read the latest entry from this month, what was written on it made him smile, laugh from joy remembering the conversation he had, the experience he had experienced.

Then from a line in the page he got embarrassed, because he remembered that he asked one of the Male Lead Characters in a Hentai to change his penis size and sexual stamina to similar one to theirs and it succeed but the pain he felt when he woke up was just too much, it was like the pain in his balls when he tried to edging himself reading Hentai Manga for hours combined with the pain when he finished the surgery to cut some skin on his penis when the painkiller wore off.

Michael then closed his eyes with a smile that suddenly vanished from his face and that, that is not a good sign because every time that happened, the time where his depression multiplied have come.