Absolutely Not Allowed To Hit On My Mom

"Finally, you're back!" Harri greeted me with a broad smile. "What took you so long?"

"Sorry," I apologized as I joined them, a bit confused. "You guys seem… alright. What did you do while I wasn't here?"

"Nothing much, really!" Yoko happily answered. "We were just tired about fighting all the time, so we negotiated a truce."

I narrowed my eyes and slightly tilted my head to the side, not sure of what I just heard. A truce? Them? What's next? Turning my gaze to Harri, I saw him nodding approvingly at Yoko's words. So it wasn't a joke. What's wrong with them, are they sick? It just doesn't make any sense. Not that I complain. If I'm going to leave them alone for six months without surveillance, I'd rather have them getting along. Now how do I bring up the main topic?

"Uhm, ok…" I muttered. "Guys, you know, I'll be leaving for a while."

"Sure," they both answered at the same time.

"When I say a while, I mean for a few months, not just a few days." I pointed out.

"Yeah, no problem. Go ahead." Yoko replied with a smile.

…Huh? Is that it? What's with that lack of reaction, do they not care? That hurts me a bit…

"I was hoping that you would stay here while I'm not here. You know, protecting my mother and monitor my uncle and my aunt, in case they try to do something weird."

"As you wish!" Yoko once again answered with a wide smile.

That easily? Something isn't right. I knew I could count on Harri, considering his gentleman personality, but I didn't expect Yoko to accept so fast. I'm basically asking her to stay in the company of both humans and Harri, whom she dislikes. I was ready to bribe her with some kind of reward, maybe giving her back her territory once I would leave, but it seems that it wasn't even necessary.

"Even if I'm not here, you can't fight, you know?" I said, unsure of what was going on in her mind.

"Don't worry about that!" She exclaimed. "Truce, remember? We'll take a very good care of your family, so you can go with a light heart!"

"She's right." Harri added, resting his arm on her shoulder. "See? We're already best buddies. We'll be cooperating, so don't worry and go. We'll take care of the rest!"

Right. As if. Best buddies? Them? No one would buy this. Still, they obviously came to some agreement. I'm already busy enough trying to figure out what my uncle is thinking, I don't have the time to deal with them. I don't think I should push it any further, they might change their minds. They're Gods, anyway. They're old enough to take care of their own problems –or not, but they won't go against me. I don't think they will ever betray me, so everything should be fine.

"Ok, then… You will need to follow some rules, though."

As I said this, I heard the two Gods in front of me sighing loudly, rolling their eyes.

"Seriously? Again? Don't you think you're overdoing with all your rules?" Yoko complained.

"There will never be enough rules for you, guys." I muttered. "Anyway… First! Obviously, you need to avoid using your powers. Unless the situation really requires it, you can't display any form of magic or any proof of divinity."

"When is it when a situation really requires it?" Yoko asked, squinting.

"Well, if the enemy becomes openly hostile, I guess." I answered after hesitating for a while. "If my uncle, my aunt, Yao, or anyone else tries something weird, suddenly start to attack you or threaten my mother in any way, obviously, don't just stand there and watch. Fight back. Remember: you need to keep a low profile and not attract anyone's attention. However, if you have to choose, then my mother's safety comes first. Nothing else really matters."

Yoko and Harri exchanged a meaningful glance, before a grin drew on their face.

"So basically, you're saying that as long as we don't strike first, it's ok to fight back?" Yoko said, as her smile kept stretching wider. "Well, that makes things easier…"

Huh? She whispered that last sentence, but I definitely heard her. "What is that supposed to mean?"

She shrugged. "Never mind that, I was just thinking out loud. What's the rest?"

"… ...Secondly. Keep an eye on my uncle. No, actually, keep an eye on everyone. Especially if someone tries to contact people outside the house. There must be someone who can use soul magic, or who knows someone else who can. We need to find who it is."

"Easy task. Anything else?"

Umh… I think that's about it. I said the essential. As long as they follow those two rules, everything should be fine… or not. I have to take their personality in account, especially if I'm letting them with my mother.

"Special rule for you, Yoko." I said, pointing at her with my finger. "I'd appreciate if you didn't seduce anyone in this house while I'm not here. I really don't need you to worsen the situation. Besides, even if you find it funny, it'll only make things awkward for the rest of us. Think about your cover."

Looking away, she simply answered with a bored 'Sure, whatever'. Would it have been anyone else, I wouldn't have been convinced. But it's Yoko, she doesn't lie so I didn't insist any further. I turned my attention to Harri, who didn't seem concerned.

"As for you, Harri," I added. "You are absolutely not allowed to hit on my mother!"

He blinked several times, as he displayed a confused smile, feigning ignorance. "I would never dare!"

I grabbed his shoulders. "I'm serious, Harri. Don't over do it with the compliments and with your 'gentleman' attitude. She'll misunderstand. My mother is a shy person, she's no good with attention and you'll only make her uncomfortable."

"Uhm, understood… I guess?"

That's worrying. Up until now, I somehow managed to avoid those two meeting mother. I'd rather not have them getting too close to her. I know they would never harm her purposely, but it's their passive-aggressive behavior that I'm worried about. I don't want their silliness to corrupt her… Mother is socially awkward enough like that, I don't need Yoko and Harri to worsen things. But well, there is no point in delaying their meeting any longer, especially if they are going to stay together for the six next months.