Dungeons Are For Nudity

"Do you know what this is?" Jaxxin asked quietly. The pretty girl reached into her cloak and withdrew a package wrapped in some kind of cloth. She carefully opened the cloth and revealed the contents.

"Uh…bamboo recorder?" I asked, cocking my head to the side. I'd never been interested in the recorder at school. The squeaking and honking of the thing made me self-conscious, like I was trying to play a sickly goose, so I was reluctant to put any decent effort into it. Besides, the exciting life of the triangle choir appealed to me since I could get my hips into the song without embarrassing squealing noises coming from my lips.

"This is a poison of my own creation," she continued without acknowledging what I'd said. Evidently, I thought ruefully, the question was merely rhetorical. She held up a dart filled with a clear liquid for me to see. "It is probably the deadliest substance known in the seven kingdoms. It can kill a troll in under a minute."

"Oooh!" I enthused in what I felt was a reasonably sincere manner. I had no idea what that meant but it certainly sounded impressive.

"It's completely untraceable and painless, provided you don't fight it," Jaxxin finished putting together the recorder and slipped the dart into what I assumed was the mouthpiece.

"It sounds like Iocaine powder," I grinned, fully aware she had no chance of ever grasping the reference. It really was a good movie, though.

"I'm aware of your ability to heal quickly," Jaxxin finally glanced up at me, a sardonic smile tugging at her lips. "But I'm confident this will nullify that minor problem."

"Wait!" I exclaimed, holding my hands up. "Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! You mean you were serious about killing me? Really? I thought you were joking! Who kills an unarmed person in a cell? I mean, c'mon! That's just mean!"

"Please know it's nothing personal," Jaxxin sounded sincere. "I don't know you, though I have followed your exploits with quite some interest. Had it been up to me we never would have met like this. Perhaps we could have even been friends."

"W-We can still be friends!" I insisted, glancing about uselessly for somewhere to hide from the troll killing dart of doom. Obviously, given my current location and situation, hidey holes were at a premium. "I like tasty food, jogs that aren't too long, anime, and going to the beach! W-What about you? You look like a beach kind of girl! Right? Right?"

"You're funny," she replied with an expression which made it seem like she didn't find me funny in the least. "But we all have our jobs, yes? My job is to kill you. Again, though, it's nothing personal." She brought the recorder to her lips when the door to the dungeon opened once again. I was quite popular, it seemed.

"I told you before, Lyrei, the Ri is not going to like th-" the guard sighed as he stepped into the room. A moment later the dart from Jaxxin's recorder of death lodged right between his eyes. The guard stiffened for a moment before nervelessly dropping like a sack to the stone floor. Wow, I thought, that really was like Iocaine powder. Evidently the poor guard had not spent the past few years building up a tolerance to it. Come to think of it, neither had I.

"Who goes there?!" Lyrei's voice called from the other side of the opened door. I heard the sound of a blade being pulled from its sheath, but I seriously doubted Lyrei would be anything more than an annoyance to the now clearly frustrated assassin.

"People always getting in the way of things," Jaxxin muttered darkly under her breath, slipping another dart from the pouch at her waist with a scowl. "This stuff's expensive, you know."

"It's Jaxxin Starling!" I called, shrinking back slightly as the girl's withering gaze turned my direction.

"Oh, Goddess," Lyrei murmured fearfully. Apparently, I was the only one in the area who had not heard of this person. Realizing the elf would not simply step out from her perch behind the heavy wooden door Jaxxin sighed impatiently and set the doom recorder on the ground, freeing the katanas from her back with an evil hiss.

"Don't go anywhere," the assassin grinned at me, moving like a shadow toward the door. I waited for a long moment before lunging forward, grabbing the hem of her cloak as she passed the corner of my cell and yanking backward. The move took Jaxxin by surprise and she stumbled backward. She was, however, even faster than I was and far better trained. I dodged backward nimbly, barely avoiding the business end of one of her katanas by a hair's breadth as Jaxxin quickly regained her footing.

"This way!" I heard Lyrei call softly. The sound of several other figures moving toward the door came from the doorway.

"And now it's complicated," Jaxxin glowered at me, the blade of one katana pointing at me in a clear warning to not try the same trick again. Lyrei had plainly explained something of the situation to whomever had come to the door and three muscled elven guards rushed into the room, blades drawn. Lyrei herself appeared a breath later, bow drawn. With devastating precision, the little elf fired arrows in rapid succession, each narrowly avoiding the men rushing toward Jaxxin to arc toward the assassin.

What should have turned her into a pincushion seemed like merely an annoyance as the blades of the katanas, each spinning so fast as to be a blur tore the arrows apart. A moment later Jaxxin waded into the midst of the three oncoming opponents. It was anything but a fair fight. Before any of them knew it, they had collapsed to the ground, one was plainly dead while the other two wouldn't be long for this world. Jaxxin, still in an offensive stance pointed her sword at Lyrei. I looked around desperately for something, anything, I could use to help the girl but quickly realized I had been effectively nullified.

"You are not welcome here, human," Lyrei tried bravely to keep the wavering from her voice.

"I am here on behalf of the king and your Ri, elfling," Jaxxin replied, not even winded. "She was the only target. You should not have interfered."

"She is our queen!" Lyrei clapped back.

"Not for much longer," The assassin moved forward as Lyrei dropped her bow and pulled free her own sword.

"I'm not afraid of you!" Lyrei challenged her.

"Yes. You are. As you should be," Jaxxin slipped toward the elf, blades whirling in a dance of death.

"Run!" I called to Lyrei; well aware it was far too late. At that particular point in time, I was rather surprised when the air between Jaxxin and Lyrei ripped apart with the sound of a thousand bed sheets being torn simultaneously and four figures appeared from nowhere. Jaxxin, too, was caught quite unawares, apparently, as her blade caught one of the new figures across the shoulder awkwardly. "Ow!" I howled, grasping my arm as a cut appeared on my skin. "Fuck!"

"What the hell now?" Jaxxin demanded, stepping back warily. The figure she'd just cut collapsed motionlessly on the floor while the other three stared around in shock.

"Lady mistress sir!" One of the figures cried, bending down to check on the one who'd fallen.

"Sayuri?" I gaped at them. Sayuri looked up at Jaxxin, anger flashing in her large eyes.

"You can't hurt people!" Sayuri growled. Her form shifted and twisted until, a moment later she'd been replaced by a massive, dangerous-looking white panther. Well, I thought with some measure of detachment, you don't see that every day. With a scream the cat lunged forward. Jaxxin turned deftly, her well-honed instincts saving her from the razor-sharp claws as the cat which had just a moment earlier been Sayuri sailed past her.

"Saihaed stoirm!" the cloaked figure with Sayuri intoned, her fist extending toward the assassin. Brilliant purple flashes of light lanced from her gloved hand and tore into Jaxxin, burning away part of her cape. Then the giant blue woman waded into combat, sword bursting into sapphire flame as she strode forward.

Billowing smoke erupted around Jaxxin, belching outward and obscuring the room. It was like oil it was so thick and burned my nose and throat. A moment later Jaxxin's face appeared at the bars for a brief moment, her eyes piercing and plainly displeased by the unexpected turn of events.

"This isn't done, your majesty," she warned, clearly irritated. "I'll see you soon." With that she was gone. Several long moments passed, and the smoke gradually cleared. We all stared at each other in shock and confusion.

"Are you okie?" Sayuri blinked at me anxiously, reverting to her normal form. I stared at the catgirl and nodded.

"You're naked, Sayuri," I pointed out. Honestly, this was like every dream I'd ever had come true. I had always wondered what a nude catgirl would look like. Would she be more cat or girl? Sayuri was definitely far more girl than cat and words couldn't begin to express how grateful I was for that. Rows of teats creeped me right the hell out and I sighed in relief at the sight of a single pair of perky breasts with the requisite number of nipples in view.

"I know!" Sayuri enthused, clapping her hands together excitedly. She pointed to the tall, blue, similarly naked woman standing behind her and grinned broadly. "She said she was comfortable and she was right! Now I am, too! I'll never put on clothes again!" I had no idea which goddess happened to be closest, but I offered my most sincere prayer of thanks to them for the gift bestowed upon me this day.

"Good on you!" I enthused wholeheartedly.

"Who are you people?" Lyrei demanded, waving her sword threateningly. "And what are you doing here?"

"Come to think of it, what are you doing here?"

"We came to save you by saving us!" Sayuri pronounced happily.

"Ah," I nodded. "There you have it, Lyrei. It's all clear now."

"Is it?" Lyrei cocked her eyebrow quizzically.

"Not in the least!" I responded brightly.