Mine!

I grinned at the front of the ship.

Captain noman had commandeered the vessel for us and now we were headed straight for titan fall.

The plan was for Craig and Granny to distract them with battle and then I'll use that chance to sneak in and put as many of the magic items as possible in the bag of holding.

Hopefully I would be able to steal enough to not only strengthen my military but also weaken that of titan rises.

"Sir! There's a blockade of titan rise warships ahead!" Yelled captain noman

"I know! I see them! Just go straight through them! They will probably think we're one of us."

Captain noman looked at me with an expression something akin to fear.

"Are you guys pirates?" He asked

"Sure." I idly responded

I looked at the blockade with a confident gaze. Every few kilometres or so there was another ship.

They were lined up in a row and each of the ships had their guns aimed across the line we were guarding.

I sucked in a breath as we floated through.

"Haaaaa."

Then let that breath out in the next momment.

They didn't react we had made it through.

After a few more minutes of travel we made it to the port of titanrise.

"Captain noman wait out here. We need to get to business."

My head snapped to the arch granny who had been sitting quietly until now.

"Archgranny!" She jolted awake

"Throw me towards the city!" I yelled

She nodded groggily.

"Then you and Craig attack the city from opposite sides!" Their forces would be spread more thin that way.

The arch granny nodded.

"Let's gouououououou!"

I yelled as my lips flapped in the air.

I was flying and given the fact that I'm the goat I was doing it very effectively.

I landed on the city streets with a graceful face roll.

A face roll is a special roll I invented.

It's like normal rolling but with your face.

I jumped to my feet and darted my head around to analyse the landmarks around me.

I was in Titan rise. They had high rise skyscraper style buildings. There streets were busy with merchants shouting orders and bedraggled labourers unloading goods.

The people who walked the streets wore opulent silk robes. The women wore revealing dresses and the men wore tight gold coloured shirts.

The streets were paved with dense cobble and there were lanterns placed along the side of the street

~It really is like modern technology.~ I thought

To my right was a shop with a mural of a troll around the doorway.

Trolls blood inn.

If I was there then titan rises magic item reserve should be three kilometres to the south.

I spun on my front foot and began to sprint in that direction.

I pardcored and leaped across the buildings and after about ten minutes of epically being me I had reached the reserve.

The reserve was a large black warehouse with a ridged metal roof and dark black painted walls.

Standing at the front of the warehouse was two guards each holding spears at their sides.

They wore the same heavy plate armour that the marines wore.

Brimming with charm I walked up to the guards.

"Hello kind fellows. Could you please let me into this establishment." I asked them

"Fuck no!" Yelled one of the guards he stabbed his spear towards my head.

Of course I did what anyone would do.

I raised my bag of holding into the air and caught the tip of the spear in it.

"Wh what!" Sputter the guard as his spear fell into my bag.

"Bahahaha!" I reached into my bag and pulled out my gun.

I pointed it toward the other guard who had been only able to watch on in fear as this happened.

"Bang!"

This persons armour didn't seem to have any magical sheildings as their head fucking exploded!

Luckily their didn't seem to be much shrapnel. As all I got to see was the shower of blood as it spewed from their helmets.

I moved my gun in the direction of the other guard who's spear I had stored.

"No! Please don't hurt me! I can give you anything!"

I decided I was going to play with him a little bit.

"Annnnnything? Can you get me a large pepperoni pizza!" It had been years since I'd eaten pizza.

"Umm. Yes?"

I curled up my lips ina snarl that revealed my teeth and gums.

"Liar! Bang!"

And their head exploded too.

Next I turned to look at the ware house.

Normally I would go inside I try to steal the items.

But I wanted to try something first.

I put my hand up to the warehouse and touched it's side.

Then I spoke those incredible words.

"Mine!"

The warehouse vanished from existence leaving nothing but an empty dugout plot.

I couldn't help but grin. At the button of the bag there were those magic rocks. I designated an activation phrase for them and now I can store items just by touching.

"Bahahahahha! Let's go."

I spun around and ran in the other direction.

Adjacent to this one their was supposed to be another reserve warehouse.

I would steal that one to.

After a few seconds of EPIC pardcore I made it to the next warehouse. I put my hand to the back and it vanished.

The guards who were previously guarding the warehouse looked around in confusion as it suddenly vanished.

I paid them no mind and went to the next warehouse.

There were four warehouses in total and I planned to steal all of them.

🐖🐐🐖🐐🐖🐐

Luckily the next one went off without a hitch as well.

I just jumped to the back of the warehouse put my hand to it and yelled mine.

Now that I had literally stolen all of the warehouses there was no point in being there.

I sprinted to the docks.

🐖🐐🐖🐐🐖

Okay. One problem.

So I made it to the docks all fine and good yeah. But the boat wasn't there.

I planned to swim to it but off into the distance there was no ship.

~shit. I don't think I told noman that we were going to war.~

Stupid he must of realized that if he stayed he would be stuck in the crossfire between titan rises and my nation's battle. Then he ditched us.

What do I do now