I’m filthy rich but still poor

Greg stood in the cave. They had just discussed with the miner about how he would distribute goods to them and had gotten a supply plan set up.

The miner would mine the goods and Craig would transport them. Of course I'm the one with the charm so I would be the one selling the goods.

I thought back to my recent hallucination of the pig.

~what was that?~

Darkness flashed in-front of my eyes.

~what was I thinking about? I don't remember.~

🐐🐖🐐🐖🐐🐖

I walked through a busy city street Craig was at my right.

"You never told me why we're here." Said Craig. I grinned.

"It's actually quite simple Craig. I need you to throw me." Craig's brows furrowed.

"What?"

I pointed towards a grand balcony at the top of a palace. "See that balcony up there. The fancy one?" I asked Greg

He nodded.

"Yes. I see the balcony." My grin took on a mischievous tint.

"Throw me there. Use your big muscle and throw me to the balcony."

Craigs brows furrowed with such intensity that the crevice between them was akin to a canyon. "That's quite far away. Being thrown with enough speed to reach that distance could kill a person. Are you sure you'll be fine?" Craig asked me.

I flexed my relatively impressive bicep.

"Ha! You think I'll have a problem with a little fall!?!? I'll be fine! JUST THROW ME!"

"ALLLLL RIGHT!"

~he sound like tony the tiger.~

And with that thought I was vaulted through the air. If I were some weak ungoated fool I would have made a comment on how I had never flown before. But that is nowhere near the truth. Not only have I flown before. In the world that I ruled I was the champion at it. So I know better than anyone how to bend with the gassy layer that submersed the fat rock.

I weaved and darted through the air. My goal was to locate and consume three pigeons. Why you ask? Because I was up here and I could.

And just to my luck there happened to be a trio fluttering through the air as a group. So I opened my mouth and let them fall into my gullet.

Then with a roll I landed upon the balcony. I stood there for a few minutes and chewed down the pigeons.

I attribute my world conquest to one thing. To my super power. When I spoke, people listened. Didn't matter what I was talking about, it could be the meaning of life or how my shit was. The second I spoke the world was silent and all eyes were on me. Without that power I never would have done anything.

"I'm sure you all remember the business I spoke of earlier. Well guess what! Now it's ready! I'm selling magic rocks. Coal, diamonds and all that stuff. But they have a magic touch from Greg. This makes them stronger and better. So if you want a magic rock. Ask me! I have the highest quality!"

A cold metal object was pressed on my back. I turned around. Behind me was the king in all his tiny glory.

"Anyways! I have to go!" I dove off the balcony.

~Craig please catch me!Craig please catch me!Craig please catch me!Craig please catch me!~

I looked to the ground. There was a slab of muscle tissue there rather than dirt. I would be fine.

I relaxed and shifted into the air onto my back. It was a joy. Just letting the wind flow by me.

*Pap*

And like that I landed on my ass the way any badass would.

"Alright Craig. It time. To do a. Business!"

…..

I stood in front of a man with purple bags under his eyes schruffy uncleaned facial hair and a glare that could fell Desmos. Fuck Desmos. That fucking asshole.

Who's Desmos your ask? He's a bitch that's who he is.

He sat in a tarp laid out on the side of a large road that had many buildings dotted around it.

I held up my sack of money in front of him. I bounced it up and down a few times.

His glare died and from the ashes a happy gaze was born. I reached into the sack and threw a handful of platinum at him. He scraped it off the ground and scurried away.

I handed Greg the money sack and pointed to where the minor would be. Then I mouthed the word rock. He nodded and speed walked off.

Why so quiet you ask? Well it was the next day after my big advertisement and I didn't want to wake anybody up. I had to make sure to keep everyone happy. I was starting a new business after all. And one scammy enough that without good customer relations, we could be in deep trouble.

I sat on my tarp for what had to be hours. The road had begun to fill with a crowd of people marching by all busy to get somewhere. But surely some must have been free enough to by a rock. There had to be some black smiths or people of similar professions in the crowd.

Haaaaaaaa. I've been teasing you too much. Sorry not sorry. How about I tell you what my business plan is? You would like that? Of course you do. See my plan is mainly to focus on the one thing businesses truly excel at.

My plan is to lie!!

That's right! I was going to tell people that my rocks were special and magical when in all actuality they were just normal rocks. The cool thing about this kind of lie is that due to the placebo effect no one will be able to tell that it's not fancy. As their belief that it is will enforce the fancyness.

Craig stomped towards me with a wheelbarrow full of rocks. He poured them onto the tarp. Craig would be the one giving price quotes of this operation. We plan to start by selling at a very high price to create a reputation. He was supposed to quote ten times the actual worth of the good.

"Everyone!" The crowds heads turned to me

"I'm selling high quality premium very high quality rocks if you wanna buy some. They're ten times as strong as a normal rock!"

A sum of ten people started shuffling over. Of those ten people only five wanted to buy something. The others were just curious. This made us around fifteen platinum.

I leaned over and whispered in Craig's ear. "How much did these rocks cost us!" I asked him.

"About four plattinum."

~okay so that was about a twentieth of the rocks. Fifteen plattinium per tewentifth. That end up a three hundred platinum. Profit for all these rocks. Thats a seventy five times profit. But my interest on the loan is 200% so I need to be able to pay around twenty thousand plattinium by next week if I want to pay it off. How can I even make that much. This is the best location I have. I won't sell as much in other places. But it also takes Craig three hours to bring a load~

.:.:.:.:.:.

The last lump of people had left. I would summon the next one in a bit. Before that I spoke to Craig.

"Realistically speaking what is the maximum amount of ores that the minor can get for us?" I asked Craig.

"He's a very fast miner. So I would say about as much as you need." Craig told me.

I nodded "Okay. Use the bag and buy all of them. I'll find a way to sell them." I put the bag in his hands again. Craig looked side to side awkwardly whilst holding the bag.

"Do you want me to go now?"

"Yes go now!" I yelled back at him.

Craig scurried off.