Chapter 182: Doo-Doo-Doo-Doo

(Sorry I was busy this week that I forgot to post yesterday)

[General POV]

The school bell rang, signifying the end of the first classroom session, and the students poured into the hallways to store their books in their lockers and retrieve the ones for the next class.

However, Edward had to wait until the students had moved on to their next class before he could leave the classroom.

"Hey Ed, are you heading to the bio lab?" Haley approached Edward and asked as he placed his books inside Jacob's locker.

"Yeah, I'll see you there," Edward replied.

Haley was taken aback. "Wait, did I do something wrong?" She was confused as to why Edward didn't want to walk to class with her.

Edward smirked and playfully said, "You did. You did something very wrong."

Haley was startled. "What did I do?"

"You tortured me last night. I had to get high just to calm myself down," Edward teased. "I thought your mother's reaction during the massage was bad enough, but you seem to be an upgraded version of that."

"What?" She was confused.

"I'm referring to the seductive moans and squirms."

"Ah, that." Haley felt relieved.

[Haley's commentary]

"I thought he found out that my mom and I finished all the pastries he sent us."

[Commentary ends]

Haley batted her eyes and then playfully scoffed, "For that reason? I mean, it's not like you're turned on or anything, are you?"

"Why...only an insane person would be able to keep their rationality if they experienced what I did."

Haley smiled mischievously and said, "Good."

"Good?" Edward asked, both confused and amused.

Haley didn't continue but leaned in towards Edward and whispered, "Also, what's with that massage? Why didn't any of my bras fit this morning?"

"None of them?" Edward asked, his gaze directed at Haley's chest. She squeezed her elbows together and said seductively, "Yeah. I had to go 'no bra' today. I think it's swollen."

"Alright, you need a time out," Edward said sternly, pointing in the direction of the biolab. "Go there on your own and think about what you did."

Haley rolled her eyes, sashayed away while swaying her buttocks, and then turned briefly to see if Edward was still looking at her. He was. She smirked and continued walking.

"Fuck," Edward cursed under his breath. "I hate being a teenager again," he mumbled while rubbing the back of his head, causing his hair to become a mess. Suddenly, Edward received a text from Alex.

ScienceNerd: Can't believe you forgot about me!

ScienceNerd: Pic.png

It was a photo of Billie, Finneas, and Enid eating the cronut, but there was none for Alex.

Edward was confused and texted back, "Did I? I gave it to your mother this morning."

Science Nerd: WHAT?! You're joking, right?

Edward: Just ask your mom about it. (eye-rolling emoji) I gave it to her this morning.

Edward scoffed as he sent the text, muttering, "Alex wouldn't lie so casually... So what happened there?"

At Franklin Middle School, Alex angrily pounced and stole a bite of the cronut that Finneas was holding as they walked to class.

"Hey! You feral, glasses-wearing jungle cat!" Finneas cursed with a smile. He didn't mind sharing the pastry with Alex.

Alex munched the pastry and swallowed it before saying, "It's great. Damn it, now I'm really mad that I didn't do more when I noticed it at home this morning! Ugh!"

Enid laughed at Alex's misery and muttered while biting the pastry, "I want more!"

"Let's stop by his house and raid his fridge after school," Billie suggested.

Alex chuckled and said, "Nice idea, but I don't think he kept any at home. And he has football practice after this."

Finneas furrowed his brow and said, "Don't get me wrong. I support him in the game, but I still think it's really dangerous for him to participate in matches. People get injured all the time in the game. And while some artists could get by just singing, his dancing is part of the show like Michael or that Bieber guy."

Billie and Enid froze, as Enid said anxiously, "Wait. He can get injured?"

"Yeah. Why do you think they have to wear all that protection?" Alex replied.

"We should stop him! If something happens to his hands, he can't make music anymore!" Enid shouted.

As Enid yelled, Mrs. Henderson walked toward the group of kids and reprimanded them, "Alex. Enid. Billie, and Finneas. Why are you still loitering in the hallway? Class started a few minutes ago. Do you have a hall pass to be here?"

Alex turned pale and spoke honestly, "You're the one who called us to the teacher's lounge!" Then, she froze as she realized she had retorted to the teacher, "No. I'm sorry, Mrs. Henderson--"

"I gave you enough time to get back to class, but you took advantage of that. All of you are to stay behind for detention today," Mrs. Henderson said with a cold voice.

"NOOOO!!!" Enid screamed, devastated. She grabbed Mrs. Henderson's hand and begged, "Can we postpone it to tomorrow? Edward is having a practice match today!"

Mrs. Henderson paused to think for a moment before saying, "No."

As the kids pitifully walked away towards their respective classes, Mrs. Henderson heard a male voice coming from behind her.

"Harsh," Gong Shin, the afterlife senior agent, said.

Mrs. Henderson turned with an extremely cold expression, cold enough that the air surrounding the two people started to freeze. Ice fractals could be seen floating around, and Mrs. Henderson exclaimed angrily, "Look who we have here. The manager who forgot to do his job and made me get stuck here longer than I needed to."

"Ah, sorry about that. But please don't put the blame on me. I asked you the question about the arrangement, and you still couldn't answer me."

The air thawed out, and Mrs. Henderson asked, "Why are you here?"

"Before I answer your question, I need to ask, do you still not have the answer to the question? Or... maybe asking you to arrange your own death was too much for the immaculate, rule-stickler afterlife employee who's currently having second thoughts about her own life here."

"..." Mrs. Henderson paused for a while, and then she said, "Just randomize it as usual."

Gong Shin laughed, "You know I can't do that."

Mrs. Henderson furrowed her eyebrows, "Why? You usually randomize it."

"Yeah, but this is a new rule the upper management is enforcing. So my hands are tied," Gong Shin said dismissively while shrugging and shaking his head. "If you feel that you can't make a decision, then just submit an official complaint to the headquarters."

"Alright. Then, grab a pen. I'm making my formal complaint right now," Mrs. Henderson said coldly.

Gong Shin easily dismissed her and said, "Stop joking around. By the way, I need to tell you this. Edward figured it out."

Mrs. Henderson widened her eyes, and her heart raced quickly. She asked fearfully, "What? Then... did he accept my presence here?"

"If he's mad at me, then he wouldn't have sent the dessert to me personally this morning. Or was he trying to confirm something? But I couldn't see anything strange about him..."

She couldn't help but be confused when she heard it. Maybe there's a part of her that wanted to come clean to Edward, as she couldn't help but notice that she was feeling some relief mixed up with a lot of other emotions that are currently washing over her right now.

Gong Shin looked at Mrs. Henderson in confusion, "Oh no. He figured out that the Afterlife Corps is monitoring him, but he didn't know that you're his supervisor."

"What?" Mrs. Henderson was baffled.

Gong Shin smirked and said, "He thought it was Johnson (the muscular mommy PE teacher). Her quitting over the summer didn't help with his suspicion."

"Why?" Mrs. Henderson asked.

"Right? I thought so too," Gong Shin said playfully. "With his new investigative skills, he should've figured it out a long time ago. But he continuously rejected that notion. Every time it came into his mind, he pushed it far, far away to the back of it."

"Maybe it was denial. After all, you're the closest thing he has to a mother after his mom left. He didn't want to accept that the only reason you were nice to him is because you're obligated to do that."

Mrs. Henderson froze in her spot. Gong Shin smiled kindly and said, "He loves you... very... very much, you know? So much so that after he had that thought, he wanted to confront Sage about the matter."

"So I had to expose myself prematurely and explain a few things to him. Otherwise, Sage would've gotten hurt by a human being once again," Gong Shin said casually.

Mrs. Henderson was speechless. Gong Shin patted her shoulder and said, "Don't worry about it. He was actually pretty okay with it. I have to admit, I've come to like that kid. He is one of the rare few people who made my job easier."

Gong Shin secretly thought, "Unlike you or that old granny Sage," as he kept a few secrets hidden from his fellow employees in this particular world.

One of those secrets was that Sage, or Mrs. Henderson's presence here, wasn't even necessary. The monitoring could be done without them appearing in front of Edward.

Another secret was that there was no punishment when two afterlife agents interacted in their daily lives. Sage's punishment was entirely made up, and she was forced to stay here for no reason at all.

–Flashback -

"Wait. I'm the one who's supposed to monitor her?" Edward asked in disbelief after hearing Gong Shin's explanation. Edward looked at the frozen-in-time Sage from afar and then back at Gong Shin.

"Yes. You could say it's part of her therapy. She has been through a lot, Edward. She saw the person she helped and cherished... burned alive right in front of her eyes. It made her closed off and reluctant to help anyone after that," Gong Shin said in a low voice.

"But surprisingly, when you accidentally joined her session, she changed a bit. You can't imagine how shocked I was to see that."

"So I'm begging you, Edward. Let her stay here and live among human beings for a while. Take care of her. And I'll do you a favor."

"What favour?" Edward asked. "Not that I wouldn't do it if there was no benefit for me but..."

Gong Shin smiled kindly and said, "I know. That's why I believe in you. In the last session, your suspended animation caused a lot of trouble for you, right?"

Edward nodded, and Gong Shin continued, "So, if you do this for me, I'll give you a notification one day before your gacha session. That way, you can avoid all that mess."

"Oh, that's awesome," Edward exclaimed.

"Right? Win-win."

–End of Flashback -

"Alright, I can't stay here for long. Just make sure you answer that question as soon as you can, if you actually want to go back," Gong Shin said with a smirk.

Eve Henderson was in a dilemma about that question. She couldn't find a way to leave this world without hurting the ones close to her, and she didn't want anyone to mourn for her.

Unbeknownst to her, she wanted to see Edward and the students she had taught grow up and succeed in their dreams. It's not that she couldn't answer the question, but her heart didn't want her to.

As Mrs. Henderson struggled internally, she then looked at Gong Shin and asked again, "Why are you here today?"

Gong Shin realized it and said, "Oh, right. I know Edward gave you two cronuts, so... Can I have one? They're already sold out in dessert stores in the state."

"Get lost," Mrs. Henderson skillfully cursed her unreliable senior, as she always did before.

(In korean, 공 Gong, means Emptiness among many others. It also means football. 神 Shin, also means "ghost", "devil", "phantom" as well as "god". In other words, anything supernatural has been called "神" historically. So take that what you will. Lol.)

…

[Edward POV]

♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪

"Baby Shark Doo-Doo-Doo-Doo"

"Baby Shark Doo-Doo-Doo-Doo"

"Baby Shark Doo-Doo-Doo-Doo"

"Baby Shark!"

I led the team, fully equipped with their uniforms, as we danced to the song. Reluctantly, the embarrassed teens followed along while the crowd laughed at them.

"Come on, people! Keep your chin up! This is what happens when one of you is late for practice," I shouted at them.

Tyler retorted, "But you're the only one who was late!"

"I am part of the team, aren't I?" I smirked. "Come on, Dylan didn't sing 'Baby Shark' for nothing!"

"Dylan? Dylan Marshall?" Tyler muttered in confusion. "That dumbass?"

Jacob performed the mummy shark part with intense focus and vigor. Tyrone, standing behind him, shyly muttered, "Man, calm down. You're drawing attention to us. Aren't you embarrassed dancing to this?"

Jacob shouted, "Granny Shark Doo Doo Doo Doo!" and then added, "To be completely honest... I kind of like it."

Tyrone was speechless after that. Cam held Lily's hand as she excitedly danced to the song while sitting in the baby carrier.

After finishing the dance, I walked toward Lily and said, "Aren't you glad you met me, Lily? Because there aren't any other men who would create a song just for a baby girl they just met."

Cam chuckled, and Lily reached out to me while babbling. Compared to her series counterpart, she was incredibly active as a baby. But that might be because the baby actress in the series was afraid of the cameras and strangers, so she couldn't really react much. Therefore, I thought Lily was quite passive.

Cam smiled sarcastically and said, "I mean, I thought Taylor would be the first person to sing a song written by you. I didn't expect Dylan to debut with it first."

I laughed and replied, "It's just a song for babies. And he contributed to a lot of those songs... kind of..."

Yes, before Dylan went to college, I asked him if he wanted to become an artist and kept my promise to help him. However, after working and making money at the part-time job on the cruise, his mindset changed.

Dylan had an amazing affinity with children, maybe because their minds were somewhat similar. He sang a lot of nonsensical songs, and it resonated well with kids under 10 years old.

His aspiration for singing these songs stemmed from his own lack of experience with someone singing children's songs to him. He wanted to provide that experience to kids who might be just like him. Apparently, his mom would play the song 'Sexy Kitty' on repeat for hours in their house as he was growing up.

"He's kind of like Charlie Harper from 'Two and a Half Men' in this universe, except without the promiscuity, money, and charisma," I secretly thought. Dylan became famous among new parents and little children, and he was content with that.

I replied to Cam, "Also, I've already recorded a few songs with Taylor and collaborated with other artists. Dylan is like number 8 on that list. Oh, and I might have done some stuff for a British band, good old chaps, you should keep an ear out for that too."

Cam smiled and said, "I know, I'm just joking."

"Oh, and Cam, since you're here helping out, I'll tell you a secret that only Dwayne and I know."

"Spill it, boy, spill," Cam said excitedly, eager to hear the gossip.

"Dylan... is getting married."

Cam's jaw dropped, and he screamed, "What?!"

"Calm down, we haven't even reached the juicy part yet," I said, smirking. "Do you want to know why he's singing all these children's songs?"

Cam nodded, and then his eyes widened in realization. "You mean..."

"Yeah... he got someone pregnant!"

"Who? Who? Who? Who?" Cam asked enthusiastically.

I grinned and said, "Anais, his prom date."

Cam gasped and said, "I thought his premature ejaculation problem was solved?"

"Yeah, it was solved after a week... And that's not how it happened. They became a couple over the summer, had their first pregnancy scare, got tested, realized they were worried for nothing, and then celebrated by doing the thing that initially caused the pregnancy scare again... Apparently, he has hyper virility after that whole incident. They didn't know it, and neither did the doctor..."

"Edward, come on!" Jacob shouted from the field. "We're all waiting for you."

Cam shouted to the team, "Wait! WAIT! We're discussing something important here!" Then he whispered to me, "How did she react? She got pregnant at 18, and I don't think she's happy about it. I'm not happy about it either."

"Yeah, at first she wanted to be a model, but that was only because she didn't know how to do anything else. She freaked out, but then Dylan calmed her down and proposed to her. He's making a lot of money now, so it was stupid for her to say no," I explained.

Cam noticed the expression on my face and asked, confused, "Why do you look so jealous about that?"

I shrugged and replied, "I don't know. He's all happy, starting a family with the woman he loves. I envy that. I want that too. Anais didn't agree to marry him just because he's rich; he became rich after she agreed. He calls her and the baby his 'clover of luck' because Anais's last name is Clover."

Both of them decided to move to Colorado to be closer to Anais's family, and they continued their studies at Greendale Community College together. And since they were going to have a baby, I decided not to give Dylan all of his money. Instead, I'll manage it for him," I explained.

"Am I doing the right thing here? I only did it because last time he had money, he exchanged it all for 'Skee Ball tickets' like 10.000 dollars worth of it, the moron!!!," I asked.

Cam nodded and reassured me, "You did. You absolutely did. Alright, now that I'm satisfied, let's play football."

The players split into Offence and Defence, with 11 people on each team. I became the quarterback for the first team, which mostly consisted of freshmen and only a couple of senior students. Tyler was the quarterback for the other team, which included all the 'veterans' and first-team players.

"You're going down, bitch!" Tyler shouted at me as we prepared for the game. Jacob expressed concern and asked, "Ed, are you sure about this? We're going to get destroyed."

I glanced in Tyler's direction and smirked before responding to Jacob and the team, "You know what? It might not necessarily happen that way. Yes, we might get destroyed in the beginning, but I believe in a high-pressure training system."

"None of you standing here today are truly novices at football. You've watched a lot of games, you've practiced for a long time... and while you may not know the strategies and winning plans yet, you can leave that part to me."

"Remember this: just follow my instructions, and we're going to crush the other teams. You got it?!"

My teammates looked at me suspiciously after my pep talk. I sighed and added, "And... the winning team will receive a $100 coupon to The Cheesecake Factory to celebrate after this."

"KICK THEIR ASS!"

"KILL THEM!"

"SLIT THEIR THROATS!"

My teammates thunderously shouted their enthusiasm after hearing about the prize. I smirked and then glanced at Tyler with a hint of pity. "Poor guy. And here he was excited to be the captain again today."

We were struggling at the beginning, but after we switched from defence to offence, Tyler couldn't handle our rising. My team won the game, 42 to 24, with no team managing to kick the ball into the goalpost. If my team had a decent kicker, we would have a lot more points than that.