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Rambling and Random bullshittery

This be your most daring story; A rambling if you must, Of language most foul, of unexplored ways to curse. Of bullshit in every turn, in every twist, in every twists of tongues. As told by thine ol'hands and masterminded by the crude tongue, with all my tics and antics. Do-told tale of a vegetable who limbs and stumbled on a new realm of where creation was pierced in it's boundaries. Of a connoisseur who learns of ways of an unshackled breathing body, the occasional doggie styles and the utmost high of all forms of unequaled shag-getry, wooing tarts and thots and hoes, all manners of terms modern and old to name all wenches of all- the ripened titties; "Thine taste ranges from nymphs of florescent pure to flooded lips which hangs and are forgivably bonk-able with a passing thought riled up by the hard down under, Which in short means all!" Heinously wholesome in ways of the vile tongue which grew most crude, terribly heinous with every breaths more lived- after to after and then more, much much more. A rambling- to what he sees, to what he does. This is a story of a living, in a world of pixels; of new universe where a man could swim in lava, a world where such and such is deemed mundane. An epic where a naked fledgling dove in the heat of an avian war, baby-steps towards a destiny-, etched in the root webs of two worlds with only a goal; To be the Pirate Ki- nevermind! To live most free. Rejuvenation; maketh man a new being, now what would be his tale when all he knew of living was blinking a set of dead little eyes, what would such a virgin of a human ways do in a surreal world that explodes magics and bullshits. I'll tell ye all! Just listen to the ramble. (Stay with me, I won't ever drop this.) [Warning:] 1. Not for the faint of heart. 1½. Smut will be there but it will be extremely rare. 2. The english dictionary would require a thorough update after I'm done with this epic. 3. Fuckery most heinous most foul. (By decree of a certain fool) 4. Don't tell your mums you learnt (curses) from me. 5. No other warning just enjoy, If ye dares. Cover art not mine, thank you for letting me use it and sorry but pray tell if you ordered it removed. Will use it until I could afford a more authentic cover art or until boss wants it removed.

JF_Fanai · แฟนตาซี
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32 Chs

OINKS

I did not find time to measure how far-off were I from the Fall.

I'm sorry, it is hard when you're blown away.

In mind and body I was.

Blow, blew, blown.

Grow, grew, grown.

From a fledgling simple Stars-Descent fucking upto a rank of Herald in a time of not too long.

I have grown far too strong.

As the rank written above the trusty HP bar dictated.

Feet submerged in the pond of blood, inside a perfect circle of a dent I made, there I stood.

A little dent, still I was in it knee deep, could not much saw nothing but dirt and the blue sky as little neck craned up for sight but still and again this mattered not.

"A fucking kill..!!" I exclaimed, eyes gleaming in excitement to the one hit death blow my OP power dealt, so powerful it crashed the wyrm's head clean off of it's neck.

Leaving behind that sweet sweet core; Oh so fuckable they always were.

A little beating heart, a prisoner set free with plans of baby-steps for everything in this new world met a rather top-gear lively start yet it did not collapse, neat little thing.

"This power is insane.." I was filled with confidence, I need not worry for me future, need not need logical exposition on how I survived and killed, unlikely foes and death-sentenced events.

"The wisp was right… that fucking thing. Ha-ha! I'm invincible!!"

I used to have a brittle back bone then I had a taste of a solid back bone and now I was proved the might of my power, a mighty back bone.

"I can do anything!" I proclaimed, with wide a smile to me own bright future, I was prepared, excited and ready for any.

I decided to climb out the little blood pool I had made in the ground, "So warm.. very unsettling.." a comment on another aspect of the reality of the game.

The lifeless, headless corpse of the Wyrm remained motionless still, with a portion of it's slender neck acting a pipe filling the dent with warm blood, "I left a total mess though." said I as I pondered about; spared from self condemnation, I find no shame, no dent on my honor in sending off a prey who was in the middle of sending off its prey.

"Hah!… You're very neat too!" said I to ten of my bloodstained toes, who planted themselves around the dirt for I to climb, they did all I could've asked and more.

Workers of the absolute I dubbed them.

So;

Up and about after a short climb, letting go the feel of the patches of soft grass from my palms.

I was in awe, really in awe.

I could've sworn my eyes doth gasped, those puffy cotton clouds and their 'gay' hue from the purple-whatever-, likely exhuming from the setting sun.

A perfect bland, they act an astounding line along the horizon of the far, Oh! The painted sky.

It seemed as though their beauty was welcoming my awesome.

"Wonderful.. what the fuck are they though!!" gleamed the eyes to the purple line of light-whatever, sang most likely to the beauty of it all. It was a duet with thoughts that wondered of why that purple purples.

The smell of the trees, the explicit flora with quaint mixtures of dragonkin's poo pierced and resuscitated the nose yet again.

Real state of the normal living senses was already mystical for I. This scent, those views, the green grasses and all hue of leaves of colors exclusive to the genes of the ever-all-tall Sunder trees-, their dances led by the wind teased the eyes to imagine surfing along as the winds seduced them to sway like waves as it blows.

Sniff-.

I did, then I took another huge one.

Like vacuum the air were sucked, nostrils were the wormholes.

Curtain calls I felt it right, as do drapes I closed thine eyes.

I stretched both arms wide and straight and long, with now a longer huff; a gluttonous mouth slurped and shuts.

I then felt my desires moan; satisfied to the brim I need out a shout.

"I'M ALIVE!!!!!!"

I spent time in the pose, I've earned it.

Only moments after I did as all would do.

"Let's absorb this thing."

My afro might've sighed for it's master was not clueless to why I would not dare absorb the core after a pause, "O-on second thoughts..nah!" also I needed to be in the middle of the pillars and the slab buried under for I to absorb the core which can be done only in the falls and a particular explosion urged me a second thought, so I dwindled down to simply play with the core, bouncing it in a one handed juggle, "Only a core and nothing more….'' I mumbled, raised brow half expected some sort of weaponry or armor, "This is a wyrm ain't it?"

This crystalline yellow core was a huge reward still you cant blame me for feeling a tad lackluster, I mean I killed a far higher rank than I.

"Really thought there would be more!"

said I, scanning back the fallen lizard body.

I was spoilt by the series of luck that nurtured me in the few minutes of whence I started the game, as I turned I swore those scales glistened with money;

The scales, the whole of the wyrm shined profitable but back then it came as only a Hi-bye meet, a passing fancy to the mind, just a passing thought of profits like a drive-by shooting of ideas for it.

From it's tails upto it's smashed head- they shone under the radiant light of the mighty sun, they sparkled money but like that passing thought, the idea to harvest said scales vanished as my mind when the glimpse of what my power could smash to oblivion surfaces when these beautiful blues scanned from tail to it's smashed head.

Engulfing all other thoughts with adrenaline as a schmuck little grin drew itself close to cheeks when I figured and hollered to all who might hear, "I'm fucking OP!!"

And enthralled and proud was I, with this power a simple wish of a damned man seemed as though granted; Freedom.

Being free of any chains or being in any confides, mental or physical or metaphorical and with a harsh start in life this to me was lust.

I lusted to be in the top-most echelon.

For that is where the Pirate's King treasure lies, "Rafte—"

(Sorry wrong story.)

Right there when the aroma of confidence enchanted yours truly, with a thought, I issued a command which showed me my bio chart.

A neat little blue chart only displayed for the pupils to see, we have our HP bar with their numbers and my curious little mana bar below as it read.

HP:100%

MP: 13050

"Thirteen fucking thousand...…." the air then seemed to pause for my masochistic barren butt-cheeks continued to be molested in these webs of surprises, "..and fifty???" I was done.

Well put vile tongue, well put!

"This has to be a record….. Thirteen thousand and fifty?"

13050?

"Thirteen fucking tho-uasa… an- fity???"

13 thousa Fi-tea!

With wide a stretched face and a jaw which yapped disbelief - I managed to mumble some grumbles, with little fingers adding tens and fives and more with every folds to the palm.

But no matter how much time did the tongue tried to vociferate, the parts of the brain tasked in managing the office of Captivating Sights could not make up a logical explanation for the luck which earns me this numbers nor the fact that this experience proves to be much like the story of the caterpillar who yearns to fly.

"I mean it adds up but.. thirteen fucking… and I'm still just starting out!!"

With first a sighing bursts of spits I decided to drown on ignorance and dwell on the new delight of confidence in one's self-, then magically comes the laughter of one who had his mind blown by his-himself.

Waaa-Hahahaha!

With extra Ha's to proudly pronounce my narcissistic love which I am owed to the max- by the by.

Near the dent of the headless pooping wyrm, I boast a set of nigh maniacal laughter.

My confidence was continuing.

It would not ever be mentioned, how much minutes I wasted with two arms resting on the hips and a belly propelled haughty-hearty laughter of the mighty.

"Now.. Perks?!" I read to this curious little thing in the blue box of notification which only I could see.

Perks are a set of miscellaneous lists of minor and major buffs, they seemed to be factored and added in by what the wisp called the algorithm of the world.

Of course! Absorbing cores also has a chance to inherit perks of the deceased.

Neat little buffs these perks.

They were found in the lowest corner of your bio chart.

It started to itch my brain, on how you could summon, de-summon these notifications, it bugged me further when all these is controlled by mere thoughts.

As I thought of clicking that little perk icon, I was brought in-to it's own seperate window- a little bubble of descriptions.

Then;

*OINK*

I heard an oink but it was just an oink.

Perks-, not ever ones that would make you stronger than all but still buffs are buffs and a little push to the end line is still a giant's leap.

The perk I got was the will of the demon I slayed.

<Will of Raksha'ssa>

<Nature of The Adaptive: Holder will inherit the will of Raksha'ssa, Highly adaptive to and against all foreign influences when sensed inside the holder's aura>

"Is this a good thing?" I pondered, "To my luck… I won't be needing this though." stated I, that over-confident dumb little broccoli head.

With another set of OINKS coming from somewhere down the steep, "That is not a soundtrack for the mighty.." I fumed.

A blank stare to the Perks screen which intrigued me to turn into a downer, I exited my bio chart immediately but as the deity of timings blessed thee, the corpse of the skat-artist wyrm was pulled down in a rough instance, as I heard and again something which sounded like pigs oinking their oinking noses.

The headless wyrm which landed to a cloudy shroom of dusts down below, those scales sounded like porcelain dishes breaking in the crash and to all ears of aunts and mothers they wear painful crashes of antiques and loud shrieking oinks.

Making my angry steps to the edge of the wyrm's toilet, little legs but tall legs skimmed pasts the dent, "What kinda pig dares to.." cursed I, bridled by puffed cheeks of red anger repressing the lips who halted mid curse as the charred broccoli peeked down.

I was a tad loud.

And down to all those clans of Pig-men with auras and pitchforks and clubs and cleavers and oinks- I was rude and to all those simple lined eyes of yellow which only blinks on big and many eat small and lonely.

Thine beauty divine would be seen as a light snack, the broccoli didn't help, confidence did shriveled up to a tiny ball-sack when catching eyes with a whole hunting squad of one of these fabled Pig clans, I was in the moment caught up by the chill of the spine, all those yellowed beady eyes; on me, or at least my broccoli or hopefully they were eyeing the wyrm's toilet, maybe they laid claim to pooping here, where I now crawled and gulped, "Uh-oh!"

I uh-ohed.

Guys please spoil me with rewards and I will spoil you back with fuckery..... I'd still spoil y'all with fuckery though.... tis in the blood

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