Unbearable

In a plain white room sits a blonde girl dressed in purple. The room is small and scarcely furnished, only having a tiny bed, a single small table, and a chair. The only source of light is a single-window located up high close to the ceiling. Everything was covered in a thick layer of dust. An old, rusted door is the only way in or out.

This is a room I've been in many times before and despite the passage of time it never changes. It's the same as it was in my first life and the same now, thousands of years later, in this life. Sitting here is a haunting reminder that nothing has changed. That everything has played out like it always does, that this cursed cycle hasn't been broken. Tears started to fill my eyes and I couldn't hold them back.

I can't even remember how many times I've been reborn. How many times I've died, or how many times I've seen those important to me suffer because I was born. I hate living! I hate the pain! I hate false hope! I hate how helpless I feel. I just want it all to end, I just want to die and stay dead! It's peaceful when you are dead, theirs is no pain, no dreams, or hope. There's nothing that can hurt you in the dark silence of the underworld. Only in death was I ever free, at least that's what I always thought.

Up till now, I was dead inside, giving up on life, only looking to die. I'd been like this for several lives now, but this life was different.

In this life, I was reborn in a world called Earth and given the name Hana Callisto. The second daughter of Jeremy and Ayaka Callisto, and younger sister of Rue Callisto. The Callisto family wasn't rich by any means, but they didn't need money to be happy. As long as they had each other they were happy. Being born in this wonderful family made my heart ack. I knew that because I was born in this family all of them would die a horrible death.

How did I know, you ask? Because that is the curse I bear. After I was created, Lord Eilos believed that the attachments I formed in the other worlds would get in the way of my duties as the saint. He decided that they couldn't cause any problems if they don't exist. In order to ensure that I couldn't form any attachments, he placed a curse on me. All my immediate family is fated to die a tragic and horrible death by my thirteenth birthday, and anyone else that attempts to get close to me suffers tills they distance themselves or are killed by the curse. This curse has taken far more lives than I have lived, this fact is guilt that I've carried with me for as long as I can remember and hit me especially hard in my current life.

I'd had many mothers and fathers throughout my many lives, some were good, and others were bad, but these two were different from the others. Ayaka was a great kind mother, she held me close in her warm arms. Jeremy was an odd man but had a good heart, as even in the worse situations he always when out of his way to try to put a smile on the faces of others. I'd never met such pure souls, but they also brought along the greatest difference a first for me, a sibling.

In every life up to this point, I'd always been an only child. Nine lives out of ten, my mother dies during childbirth. The remaining one out of ten become infertile or abandon me somewhere, never meeting them again. So, having a sibling is new to me. As an older sister, even if she was only a year older than me, look after me whole heartily. Even at the age of one she almost never left my side. She couldn't speak but she still sang me lullabies on nights the memories of the past kept me from sleeping. She couldn't really stand on her own feet, but she rocked my crib to comfort me.

The more she cared for me, the more she was kind to me, the more the guilt welled up inside of me. The thought that I would cause her and her parents to experience a horribly painful end made the guilt build greater, and greater, till it felt like it would swallow me whole. It was when this feeling had completely consumed me that, at the age of five, I decided that something had to be done.

Eilos's curse was strong and through, even if I run away and never see them again the curse would still make them suffer a grave fate. However, there is one loophole, only one, that lies in the reason the curse was placed on me in the first place. Its purpose is to stop me from making attachments, so, that I can be sacrificed to maintain the barrier sealing the demons. However, that only applies if I live long enough to reach maturity. In Fabula, one is considered an adult at the age of thirteen. At twenty, one is considered in their prime. In order to ensure that I absorbed the maximum amount of power from a world, they'd wait to call me back till I became an adult. By that time any attachments I might have made must be dealt with. If I die before the curse takes their lives, then the curse will no longer have a target, as the attachments of the dead don't matter, they can't get in the way of a person who's no longer alive.

The Callistos were planning to take a camping trip, some sort of family tradition. They'd planned for us to do so much, but I had a plan of my own. One, that would have long-lasting effects on me, shaping the person I am today.