Staying up late

Simone lingered by the fire. The men had kindly set up the tents, as usual, but the gaping loneliness of the women's tent was intimidating and cold. 

She and Victoria had shared little stories and giggled like children at a sleepover on many nights, and sleeping alone seemed wrong somehow. 

It was also the place from which she'd been kidnapped the night before. The illusion of the safe haven was shattered. She shivered and huddled closer to the fire. 

Walter, as usual, had turned in first. His snores already filled the air. Kyler had followed a short time later, pleading fatigue after a trying day. Jerry was tied up in the back of the wagon, having been fed and taken to relieve himself. 

Shayn sat directly across from her, with an unreadable expression on his face as he stared into the embers. 

She should just go to bed. There was no sense in delaying the inevitable. Still, something rooted her to the spot. Her tent seemed ominous and foreboding somehow. She didn't like it. The flames of the fire were comforting. 

The glowing embers and pungent smoke burned away the memory of Jerry's lecherous breath against her hair. She shivered again. 

"If you're cold, you should go to bed," Shayn said without looking at her. 

"It will be just as cold there," She countered. Alone. She would be alone, and in the quiet and the dark. 

"There's extra blankets, if you need some," He offered, but it only made her sink deeper into her mood. There were extra blankets because there was one fewer person to need any. 

"No, thank you." She shook her head. The evening itself wasn't that cool, though they were getting closer to the mountains. The chill was inside her as she thought of what might be happening to Victoria. 

"Suit yourself," He stretched, and she wondered why he didn't go to bed with the others. "Stars are nice tonight." 

Simone glanced up, suspicious at how nice he was being. Cordial, even. It was strange and a little unnerving. "Yes, they're beautiful." 

In any of the books at the library with this sort of tale, the man would say something charming like 'not as beautiful as you,' but of course Shayn was an arrogant and irritating, if somewhat heroic, man. He would never say something like that, except maybe sarcastically. 

Her mouth twitched into an amused smirk as she imagined him trying to be charming. It was comical. Then again, he was perfectly nice to Victoria. She frowned again, thinking of her missing friend. Hoped she was all right. 

"That was a heavy sigh," Shayn commented, and Simone jerked her head to look at him. 

"I didn't realize I had sighed." She said, and he shrugged. 

"Anything you need to talk about? You've been through a lot today." Again with the kindness? It was really beginning to throw off her opinion of him. 

"I'm not sure," She answered honestly. "I don't want to talk about it, but I also don't know if keeping it all to myself is the right thing." 

He nodded, and kept quiet. He leaned forward towards the fire and used a sturdy stick to rearrange the logs into a better position. The embers flared, and he smiled. 

"Warmer now?" 

She didn't answer, trying to search his face. Was he putting on all this extra effort to be nice just because of what had happened today? How long could he keep it up before the facade cracked and he went back to teasing and mocking her? 

"I'll take that as a yes," He replied after a moment, and sat back in satisfaction. "It's all right, you don't have to talk if you don't want to. I'm flattered you're staying up just to sit with me." 

"Pardon?" She sat up straighter and stared at him. Flattered? Staying up just to sit with him? Wasn't that what he was doing for her? Not leaving her alone outside? 

"Pardon what?" he tilted his head. 

"Staying up just to sit with you?" She asked incredulously. 

"Isn't that what you're doing? I'm on first watch tonight, and instead of going to bed you're staying up to keep me company. It's nice of you." He gave her a half-smile. "But unnecessary, really. You need your rest, if you can get some." 

"That's… wait, since when are we doing watches?" She looked at him in confusion. 

"Since you were kidnapped, and we have a bandit tied up in the wagon and at least one other still on the loose," He replied, his voice slowing as though trying not to imply she were stupid. 

She felt stupid anyway. 

"When's my watch?" She asked, straightening. She didn't recall the men discussing keeping watch in front of her. They must have done it while she wasn't around. 

"You don't have one. You were kidnapped today." He reminded her. "But I won't keep complaining if you want to join for mine."

"Have you been complaining? I thought you were trying to get rid of me so you could go to sleep." Simone sighed. His words would be patronizing if they weren't bewildering. It wasn't so long ago when he had openly complained about spending any time with her at all. 

"Any particular reason you don't want to go?" He turned his eyes back to the fire while she decided whether to answer. "It must be quite something to make tolerating my company preferable for you." 

She wanted to protest out of a sense of good manners, but based on their history, he wasn't exactly wrong. Especially at first, she would have put up with quite a bit if it meant less time around Shayn.

"Yes." She said simply. 

He tossed a twig into the flames, seemingly unoffended for once by her words. She almost wished he was. Bickering might distract her from the feelings creeping at the edges of her mind. 

"Care to elaborate?" She felt his glance as he spoke, but when she looked at him, his eyes were already back on the embers. 

"I got kidnapped last night." Simone snapped. "And now I face the choice of either staying up all night, in the open, or trying to sleep, alone, in the very tent I was taken from." 

He didn't react to her harsh tone. It disappointed her, somehow. Her heart rate had increased while admitting her fear, and she took deep breaths to try and calm it. 

"That does make my company look rather tolerable by comparison." He deadpanned. "At least I brush my teeth and bathe regularly." 

The ridiculousness of comparing being irritated by Shayn to being kidnapped by actual, evil, lecherous bandits broke through her anxiety. The final straw was Shayn implying the way he smelled to be the most important difference between himself and Jerry. 

A giggle escaped her lips, and he raised his eyes from the embers with a sly smile. 

"There is that," She conceded. "I would go so far as to say your presence is vastly preferable to any of the bandits." 

"I'm moving up," He teased. "There was a time when I ranked amongst the people you liked least in all the world." 

"It was you who was ranking people, not me," She reminded him, "and as I recall I ranked amongst the most irritating you had ever met." 

"A high honor," He nodded seriously. 

"Was it? And do I hold that honor still?" The intimacy of the firelight and the quiet evening prompted her to be more frank than she normally would. Suddenly, it was important to her what he thought of her. 

Why? Just because he'd saved her life, she cared what he thought? That was likely part of it. An irritating, arrogant young man's opinion, she could discard easily. A brave, heroic man who had done so much? That carried more weight. She held her breath. 

"Less and less." He said softly, holding eye contact with her. 

There was silence between them for a time. Saying he found her less irritating didn't exactly amount to any great confession, and yet it felt like one to her. His voice had caught on the last word, as if the admission were something important to him. Emotional. Perhaps it was her overactive imagination, combined with the stars and the firelight. 

Maybe she was desperate to have something to contemplate other than her loneliness and recent trauma. 

But the way he still looked at her now was different than he ever had before. It thrilled her and scared her to have his undivided attention without the cloud of irritability that usually hung between them. 

"You should try to get some rest." He said after a long stretch. "I'll be out here guarding, and then Kyler will take over. We won't let anything happen to you." 

Simone swallowed, and tears gathered in her eyes, ready to fall. 

"Thank you," She choked out, standing. "I think I will get some sleep." 

He stood as well, watching as she walked away and got into her tent.