Wait... You're the Villain?

Welcome to my Novel! I'm hoping to put more romance later in the story, but especially for this first arc, it will primarily be our MC and his Pokémon. So if BL or romance isn't your thing, no problem, there won't be much in this first volume. On the other hand if you do like BL, stick around and I will do my best not to disappoint you! I haven't seen any bl Pokémon fan fics so instead of waiting for someone else to do it, I decided to write it myself.

Without further ado, I hope you enjoy Pokémon Edgelord!

"Oh calm down Giovanni, you always get so worked up about these things. Alakazam just hit lvl 90, soon we'll be plenty strong enough."

"But is this really necessary? What's the point in living forever if there's no one left to rule over?"

"Oh sweetheart, no matter how many I kill, there will always be more useless humans to play with, and you know I can't risk alerting the legendries. If alakasam releases his power in the wild, they are bound to notice. Even if we can kill a few of them, Kyogre, Groudon, and Rayquaza won't have a problem destroying all of Hoenn if it means eradicating us."

"Then lets just go somewhere else. You've already eradicated the populations of 3 towns. Eventually someone will notice."

"They already have, that's why you run team rocket, and I run the League. Between us, there shouldn't be a problem tying up loose ends. So relax, forget about all that. For now it's just you and me. I love you Giovanni."

"I love you too Sam"

"Oh dear me, someone's forgetting his training. Raichu, thundershock."

At Oak's direction, the large yellow mouse Pokémon released a dense electric volt. Normally a thundershock wouldn't be a particularly strong move, but from a level 60 raichu, the zap was truly torturous.

"tsk tsk, remember the rules"

"My apologies master"

"Good boy. Soon Alakazam will reach level 100, and we shall become gods."

"Yes Master."

_________________________________________________________________________________

A week later in another dimension where Pokémon are though of as nothing more than characters in videogames and fantasy stories, a young man stood at the edge of a cliff.

My stomach felt hot. The intense burning sensation of the knife made me feel foggy. As though I could fall over at any second, I stumbled looking at the face of the man I loved. The face of the man who killed me. I wanted so many things at that moment. For someone to help me. For someone to save me. Revenge, to drag him off the cliff with me. But most of all I just wanted to go back in time. To before he got fired. To before the depression hit and we lost our house. To before my monster of an ex sent him those videos taken years ago, claiming they were recent. Claiming I was cheating.

This wasn't fair. I just wanted to be with my Ryan. I just wanted us to be happy together. Fuck this world. It's dirty. It's stupid. People are vain, greedy, malicious. They hurt others even if it brings hem no personal gain. The worst part? I can't do anything about it. I can't even save myself.

I cursed the sickly body I was born in. I cursed the world I was born in. If only I was born stronger, maybe I could've lived a better life. If only I had the power to change things. Instead all I see are instagram models with rich parents telling me how hard their life is because someone insulted them on twitter. As I flounder in the job market I get yelled at by some old douche telling me how young people are lazy and don't want to work as they sit at home in the house they bought after one year working at a mall kiosk 40 years ago.

I'm done. I'm tired. Finally, I get to sleep. Finally I don't have to stress or worry or fucking care about tomorrow. My legs give out and I fall, fall, fall and smack against the water. And everything goes black.

____________________________________________________________________________________

*Clamp*

Gah what the hell is that? I snap open my eyes when I feel something crushing my left arm

*Yummy... fooooodies. Warm foooodies*

"Ahhh holy shit" I scream as I wave my arm. Some kind of giant clam is munching on my arm."

*Why is my foodie moving? Bad foodie"

My head is a mess. I thought I was dead. But if I was, why does this hurt so much? More than that what is this thing trying to eat me... huh it doesn't actually hurt much at all. Feels kinda like a deep pressure massage, nothing compared to an intense night of bds... Wait this feels weird.

I look around and notice that everything looks kinda... distorted? It's like, wiggling. It's also pretty dark and I feel like all my movements are kind of slowed. Shit I'm underwater. Wait... how am I breathing?

With the giant clam still nibling on my arm, I try to breathe. I feel the water moving in my lungs but for some reason I'm not having any trouble moving.

*Die my fooooodie, enter me and become one with my peaaaarrrrrl*

The fk!? Did this clam just speak? Beyond that, did it just speak English?

"Hey clam..." Uh what do I even say in this situation. My head feels so foggy. I'm breathing underwater and talking to a clam. This definitely isn't heaven, but it certainly isn't like anything I've experienced before.

*Why is my foodie talking!?? Die foodie diiieeeeee!!! Whirlpool"

A strong current picked up dragging me in a circle. Slamming me into the floor again and again. But it didn't hurt. I didn't feel nauseous either despite all the spinning. Well one thing was a bit annoying. The clam wouldn't shut up.

Bang *Ouch*

Bang *Ouch*

Bang *Ouch*

Bang *Ouch*

Bang *Hey foodie are you dead yet?*

"No" It was weird. I ussually had really bad anxiety but... Just swaying here, letting myself be flung around down in the water... it felt nice.

"Thanks little buddy"

Bang

*Why are you thanking me??? I don't want thanks I WANT FOOD*

Bang

"For real though thank you, because of you I finally learned to go with the flow"

Bang

Bang

Bang

Hmm my little clam buddy isn't saying anything... the current stopped too.

"You okay there little buddy"

*I'm trying my best to kill you... and you make fun of me*

As I look over at my clam friend, it's top shell starts quivering as it lets go off my arm. The whole thing starts chattering like catasnets.

"Are you... crying?"

*NO I'M NOT CRYING!*

The clam turns away from me and sticks its head into a clump of coral. Well shit... I feel bad now. I have no idea what's happening. I have no idea where I am. The love of my life just killed me. And I'm talking to a giant crying clam... who talks for some reason. Am I tripping on acid? Hmm I've never even smoked pot before so probably not but... eh whatever i'll just enjoy the trip for what it is.

"Cheer up acid induced dream clam, I'm sure we can find some other food for you"

* r, r, reawwy?*

It doesn't even have lips or a vocal cord from what I can see, but I swear it just spoke like a pouting toddler.

"yeah buddy, what's your name? I'm..." my name is Dave but... I really hate that name. Everyone who ever used it, my father, my teachers, the bullies in school... even my boyfriend. They all treated me like shit and only used my name when they wanted something from me... well my boyfriend was pretty great. I mean he killed me but y'know, second chances and all. Either way I don't want that name anymore...

"My name's Alice"

*Alice? Isn't that a girl's name*

"... Aren't you a clam? Do you even have a gender"

*I'M A BOY screw you. And my visceral mass is huge dude like, you can't even imagine man.*

"Really... I'm looking at you right now... not much too look at to be honest"

This clam is fun to mess with. I feel mean but this is like, the best conversation I've had in years. Damn I should do acid more often. Oh no, he's crying again.

"Buddy come on, I was just messing with you, come on it's okay, I was just joking. You have a very nice... visceral mass"

The clam looks at me... well I think it's looking at me anyways. It clicks a few times a opens up. Inside I see a beautiful pink orb with two drowsy eyes barely open.

*I'm Gorelox the insatiable... what kind of Pokémon are you? Are you a wailord? Mommy said wailords are big and fat and mean*

"Your Mom's a...." One of the clam's eyes slowly opened and looked right at me as if it was looking into my soul "very smart lady"

*Mommy chan is the best! She always brought me the yummiest foodies*

"Uhh yeah, sure. Is your name really Gorelox the insatiable, that seems... extreme"

*...*

"Well?"

*My name....*

"Go on"

*My name is Luna*

"Aww that's a pretty name"

*I DON'T WANT A PRETTY NAME. I want a cool name. Ima be a gorebyss someday and all those bullies from when I was little? Ima suck em dry. Every last one of em. I'ma suck and suck and suck until they beg me to stop*

I can't help it. I burst out laughing. Gorebyss is a giant pink Pokémon which uses it's sharp proboscis to drain the blood and lifeforce of its enemies. Even knowing that, holy crap this kid is funny.. wait Pokémon?

"Hey buddy... did you just say Gorebyss?"

*Uh huh, I'm a clamperl and clamperl has two evolutions: Gorebyss and*

"Huntail"

*What? yeah how did you know? I thought you didn't know what I was?*

"

*Yeah, every clamperl eats everything it can. Once we have enough material stored in our viscera, we hide in the sand and spend years forming it into either a deep sea scale or deep sea tooth. Then by absorbing the item into our pearl body, we can evolve!!! Isn't that amazing? I already have the liminal crimson coral and sea bottom starfish legs, now I just need a rainy orb, and I can make my deep sea scale!!!*

"Aww that's awesome buddy, I'm sure you'll be an amazing gorebyss"

I wait for half a minute but Luna still doesn't respond. This little guy is so weird, He gets so excited and loud and then so quiet. Well he is a clam. Poor guy must not get to talk to others much

"Is something wrong?"

*No, nothing's wrong. I just... won't ever get my bivalve on a rainy orb. They only appear in places with high ambient energy and I'm... I'm far too weak to ever go there. Mommy said she would bring me one but then...*

Poor kid. So he's really been all alone this whole time.

"Damn that's, that's a lot to deal with. Hey Luna have you ever heard of a human?"

*Hooman? Mama said hoomans are a special kind of Pokémon. If we join a hooman on their adventures we can become super strong!*

"Your mama really is a smart lady. That's absolutely correct. Well earlier you asked what kind of pokemon I am. The truth is that I'm a human. I was wondering if you would want to join me? I'm sure we can find you a rainy orb somewhere"

*... are you really a hooman? I guess, I guess that makes sense. I've never seen a hooman before, and I've never seen you before so yeah. You must be a hooman.*

By that logic I could be a rayquaza but yes brilliant powers of deduction

*Okay hooman Alice. I shall join you and together we shall devour the very gods! MUAHAHAHAHAHA*

"uhhh sure lets go with that"

-jolt- I felt a shock pierce my head, not painful just strange, like the moment deja vu suddenly hits you and you feel like you had left your body for a moment.

(Trainer Alice, would you like to spirit bond with Luna the Clamperl)

The voice of something odd, neither male nor female, nor exactly robotic, just pure information entered my head as though words on a page were being transcribed into my brain.

(You currently have 2 spirit slots available. Should you not bond with Luna the Clamperl,, you may still train him, however you will not be able to observe his information or access any of the other benefits)

If this is an acid trip, which I'm starting to think it isn't, this is one crazy day. Back in the day before I met Ryan, I spent hours and hours pouring over isekai light novels, web novels, web comics, manga, anime, and all the other otaku media forms. Even still, it's hard to believe this could be real. Or maybe I just don't want to accept that Ryan really...

"Luna do you want to spirit bond and become my partner Pokémon?"

*Yes... Yes I will become your partner. I will eat all the Pokémon. I will eat all the hoomans!*

"Hey Luna"

*Yeah?"

"Chill buddy"

*... hmph, you better feed me well though. This lustrous shell ain't cheap*

(To initiate soul bond, make contact with the main body of your partner pokemon)

I think that would be the pearl body... pearl... I wonder if clamperl can mega evolve into palkia... shit no focus focus.

I reach out a delicate pale hand towards the pink fleshy body. Those wet, drowsy eyes looking warily at me as I do.

"We need to touch to make the bond"

*that's gay*

"Excuse me?"

*I said OKAY geez. Get closer*

I put my finger a couple centimeters away from the main body of the clamperl. and from inside the pearly, gelatinous body, a small tentacle forms from the body's mass and wraps around my finger.

"Nice to meet you Luna"

*Nice to meet you too... Alice*

(Spirit bond complete. Similar to a pokeball, you may store clamperl inside your spirit realm where it will be sustained by your spirit essence. In this world humans are much stronger due to aura, psychic, and spiritual powers inherent to them. In a way humans here are themselves Pokémon)

This voice... you know I'm from a different world?

(I am a wisp of the Alakazam owned by professor Oak. If he finds out that you are still alive, he will not risk allowing you to survive again. I brought you to this world from a parallel dimension but you must flee from this place as soon as possible. I have created a spirit realm in your soul which will allow you to store Pokémon without risk of them being stolen. You can also see their stats and abilities but that is all I can do.)

Why, why are you helping me? Why would Oak want to kill me? How did you-

(There is no time. I am going to teleport you to the Hoenn region. Oak cannot leave Kanto due to a curse by Palkia, but you don't have long. Once I reach level 100, he will force me to do unspeakable things. Please Alice, you don't have to save me, but bringing you here was all I can do. Kill Oak, and save us all.)

I can't say I understand but... I'll do my best. Thank you for giving me a second chance at life.

"Are you ready for the adventure Luna? We are going to teleport now"

*I feel... strange. But I know I can trust you. Let's go!*

(One last thing, not everyone can speak with Pokémon. You are a clone of Oak spliced with mew's dna to create something of a super human. I suppressed the clone making them think the experiment failed so they threw you away. If anyone realizes what you are, the consequences will be disastrous. Good luck Human. Goodbye.