desensitized

Living this life for every one else.

Laying here with my thoughts on a shelf.

Constantly thinking about shooting myself.

What's the point of making everyone else

happy?

The things in my head are completely

sappy.

Judgement of myself becomes toxic.

If only I thought I was hot shit.

It's impossible to unsee what spins through

my mind.

Disgusting things continue to intertwine.

Why is it that it feels like I'm in a deep hole.

conesuir of sadness like a small widow mole.

My words are all exactly the same,

and I only have myself to blame.

Desensitized to this gruesome madness,

with each and every slice.

Before I grab the blade I always think twice.

The urge doesnt leave my head so I'll do what

I must.

Watching, and smiling as I watch myself gush.