The Agonized Love

AT. WITCHDOM PROVISION.

PATRICIA'S POV:

What is the point of this futile relationship I am holding up?

Looking at my state while laying on the ground beside the huge window somehow made me laugh in pain. The big blue sky, which ends somehow touching the green grasses, at last, made me laugh too. Looking at the big trees, standing tall despite facing nature's so much torture, and the flock of birds flying back to their home is a somehow amusing state for me.

I use to believe in all this long back, but not now. Why? Looking at my pale face is the reason. I had everything, but still, I don't have it at all. I know I am at fault, I accepted this life. But there was still hope somewhere for a new start.

Now, everything is in vain. The world had shown us, no matter we will always end up with the one who will be meant everything to us. Like The sky, always end with the green grasses, despite their so much distance. I will not have that. The one I have loved all these years, not even knowing what is his name, finally is mine. But what is the consequence? He is not mine, even being mine.

I stood up from being a mess and walked towards the study table in the side. Upon from the big shelves of books, I took out an old scroll. A smile appeared looking at Jenny's portrayal. She is the reason I am still alive in its cruel world. I got a family. A Child to call me mamma. A husband to take care of. A home to take care of.

A lone tear escaped from my eyes thinking about all the responsibilities I have. I am happy with the little family I have, the one she hands me over. " I hope I will stay stronger like those tall trees in the meadows. I must keep your wish and my promise." I mumbled looking at her picture.

Soon an angelic voice came over my ears, calling me -" Mamma?"

I turned back to see my little son ruining towards me happily. I smile looking at his tiny happy figure. Soon he ran to my arms collapsing into it as he said-" mamma.... look... I won the first prize in the play" he said while showing proudly his achieved little trophy that he got in his class.

I melt in his cute smile as I asked while caressing his back-" What did you do today?"

He broke the hug excitedly as his eyes lit up with glitters while telling me the story of his achievements. " You know today... I ran so fast... that... that... they cannot catch me. It was like I was running like dada. I will grow up one day and I will fight like dada too. And I will always protect mama and dada"

His innocent words made me cry in joy. The relationship between a mother and child was one of the purest forms. The word 'mother' brings the undefinable joy in one's life that I have understood. Not being his biological mother, never had left me out of my motherhood. He is the best thing that happened to me. And I will always be thankful to Jenny for bringing Jonathan into my life.

That part of my life, where love comes, has been hidden so far.

AFTER TWO DAYS:

The morning usually starts with the giggling of Jonathan and me. It was either I chase him for his breakfast as he run with his superfast mode or it might be us giggling over so many matters. It was like any other day when we heard a knock over the door.

I frowned as I approached the door. Opening it reveals John. He was tired, drenched, and pale. He was holding his helmet in his hands and his shoulders were pretty flexed. His face was pale and tired as he looked at me with a poker face.

For me, as soon as our eyes met, the world around me stopped. I met him after 3 months. I know he is in his royal duty as I never barge on him for anything. I have accepted the fact that he is my husband only in papers. Yet he never felt to raise my palpation with his one look.

I blinked a few times trying to hide my flushed face, as I smile at him before moving away from the door letting him in.

"Dada...." Jonathan ran into his arms as he happily took him in his embrace.

"Did you miss dada?" he said while throwing him in the air slightly. Jonathan's giggle echoed the roam as he hugged him as soon as he landed in his arms again.

They both lost in their chit-chat. Jonathan began to describe his achievements to John as he patiently listened to his every word. This father-son relationship was the cutest one I have seen so far. Jonathan has always admired his dad, even when he never knew who he was. Jenny has always described his dad as the most amazing hero he can be. Jenny's love for John was indeed admirable.

And mine.....

The day spent quite eventful as today John was different. I was not being able to understand his emotions at all. He was happy but he was sad and nudged in agony at the same time. What is it about him that makes me a little worried? I dared not to ask.

At the dinner table, Jonathan sat with his father as I began to serve the food. John was lost somewhere. I asked-" Jo-John?"

He quickly looked over me trying to keep a smiling face but failed. I can sense something is wrong. I know he has drawn a line between us but still, I couldn't see him like that. I had to ask. I gained all my courage before asking-" John? Is everything fine? Is there something bothering you?.... At work?"

His eye had softened as he nodded his head in a no slowly. He said-" I am okay. Don't worry about me. Come let's have dinner"

I know he will be needing a lot more time to open up. I don't want to barge at him. I accepted his invite as I smiled and approached the table. My gaze shited to our son, Jonathan. He was one of the naughtiest kids I have ever seen. Every night, he would play with his food. And tonight, he was doing just the same.

This reminds me of my home. I use to be just like him. Probably this is the reason I can never scold him. I smiled as I saw him playing with his food. At other times, he was a very good boy, but if he had one bad habit, that is his food habits. Like any other mother, it was a daily challenge to feed him.

I grabbed his hands who were gesturing the bread in a flying bird. He innocently looked at me making my heart melt. He said-" mama... I learned bird fly with their wings which is their hands too. So, I will grow wings someday too?"

I laughed at his question as I replied-" Yes, soon. When you grow up. And that will happen when you will be a good boy and eat all your food."

His eye glittered up as he said with full energy-" I am a good boy mama. Dada see... I am a good boy". He gazed at John who was looking at us in awe.

It took me a long time to make him have his food. and after that we had ours. After dinner, I put Jonathan to sleep. The next thought after putting him to bed was that I had to share the room with John tonight. Despite being husband and wife, we had never shared that bond. After the first night of marriage, this was the first time I will be in his room.

I tried finding ways to avoid the situation by staying in Jonathan's room, but somehow I felt tonight he was off and something was bothering him. I should be there for him.

Gaining all my courage I slowly opened the door of his room. My eyes were searching for him. But to my expectations the room was empty. I frowned and looked twice before eyeing the room making sure I wasn't mistaken.

He wasn't there. Where is he? I looked outside, It was dark enough showing it was past 10 -11 in the clock. where can he be at this hour? I went outside looking for him, but he wasn't been found anywhere so far. I came back to his room being all tired. I have no other option than to wait for him.

It passed 2 hours more, still waiting for him. I was anxious and scared at the same time. I have no idea where is he right now, or what is his state. I want to find him, but looking at Jonathan, I cannot leave the house. I just hope he is okay.

With a sudden burst, the door opened revealing John. He was in his inebriated state. He can hardly stand on his feet as his eyes were all swollen and red. Looked like he cried a lot. I was guessing right something was wrong. Why was he drunk like that? What if...

Before my thought could process further, he stumble on his feet. But luckily I was fast enough to catch him. I asked with a frown-" What are you up to? Why are you this drunk?"

He looked at him with his most cute-ish and subtle look. He smiled but his eyes were still puffy from the earlier crying. He said-" Pat-ri-ci-aaa.... I am so sorrrry... But... But today I am so sad. My heart was torn apart from myself. It's all because of her... She did this to me... us."

It was not very long that I assumed who he was talking about. Jenny, his love. I knew he is still in love with her and me, with no room in his heart at all. But I was unaware why was he drunk like that? Did he perhaps miss her today? Perhaps, he wanted to see Jenny when he came back, and not me.

I somehow stopped my tears rolling out from my eyes as I took him to our room without further discussion. Reaching our room, I made him lay in the bed as I started removing his shirt so that he can sleep. But he stopped my hands in between and said-" Thank you"

For a minute his words touched my heart as it almost did a flip when his genuine sound stuck in my ears. But the next minute I told myself 'He is drunk!!!'. I gathered myself again and somehow managed to change his clothes.

I was about to go when I felt his grip on my wrist. I turned around to see him but only could see his eyes full of tears. Is he crying? My heart sank to see him in this venerable state. I sat beside him to console him, but the very next moment I was being pulled in his embrace. It only left me with wide eyes. ' No Patricia, He is only drunk... Do not think this something else'. I tried to gather myself as much as I can.

Without moving he spoke in his broken voice-" Today was jenny's birthday...". An awkward silence spread in the room. So this was his reason for being drunk? I felt like caressing him right now. But my hands stopped while clasping the sheets of the bed. He continued-" I know, I have been rude towards you all these days, but trust me I don't mean any of that. I am sorry for the words I have said to you the very first day...."

I chose to stay silent for the moment. The night recalls in my head as tears ran through my cheeks when I remember his harsh words the next day. He continued-" I love her so much, from childhood. It was hard for me to accept that she was gone. You are a good woman Patricia, You have sacrificed a lot, to take care of our son, me, and this house. You have even taken care of Jenny, and I am so grateful for that"

He broke the hug and looked at me. His eyes were showing care and genuineness that started melting my willpower before him. He said with his most sweet voice-" Patricia, I know this sounds very blunt but, jenny will always rule my heart." I drop of lone tear escaped my eyes. What was I even thinking? For a minute he does give high hopes, but now I know I should stay within my boundaries.

I nodded with a broken expression as I tried to stand up going away from him. But he was fast enough to hold my hands making me sit with him. I frowned at him. He still had a calm expression. Was he really drunk? How can be one so calm when just some time ago he barely can stand? With all of my thoughts, he said once again-" I don't know if I will be able to give you the love you deserve. You truly deserve better. That I am incapable of providing you. But... I am willing to try."

The next moment his lips were on mine, making me go in complete shock. He didn't move, neither did I. We were only feeling each other for that moment. He broke the kiss leaving me completely blank at the moment. He said-" let's give this a try... If you want? I have promised her I will always keep her words."

Before I could have processed from the earlier kiss once again his pair of lips were on mine. This time he slowly moved his lips within mine. I could only moan in him when my lips danced rhythmically with his. My first kiss. I was going through lots of emotions right now. But what was most important was him at the present.

The tears of Joy escaped as we shared a beautiful kiss that night. All of my worries and insecurities had flown away by now. I was so ready to give this a chance. I spent that night under his embrace. As he slept hugging me and I was completely devoted to him.

AT WITCHDOM PALACE

HARNEY'S POV:

After Shawna has gone from the place, I got busy with all the work again. Mostly she looks after the majority of the work from her palace, but still, something which was left was taken over by me.

It was a peaceful morning, as I sat in my garden having tea and wandering nature. It was all before when I saw Shawna, walking with an aggressive expression. I blinked a few times to make sure I am looking the right thing. Shawna, in WitchDom, also this early? Is everything all right?

I worriedly walked towards her to check on her. I grabbed her shoulder as she looked at me with her red puffy eyes. I asked immediately-" Dear... What's wrong?"

" I want this marriage to end Grandma.!!!"- She said with a still eye. She was hurt. I looked at her with a shocking face, as she was standing with her determined thoughts. Before I could ask anything she left towards her from making me stand there dumbfounded.