chapter 3

At a point I never realized how good it felt to be inlove. I thought love was finding a kitten on the side of the road and nursing it. I didn't realize it would come with a whole lot of complications.

 He was genuine he wasn't perfect but neither was I. He believed in speaking up for himself would get him the right answer to every passover ge can think of. I on the other hand was quiet never would cross the line in hurting others.

 But in the end it connected. We were right for each other and I knew it. He was the only boy that I thought. He was like a drug, strong and addicting. I couldn't get enough of him I was head over heels for him.

 Dylan had a perfect group of friends. They all clicked, they were the same people in different fronts. I would never tell him that though. Tell him that I admired him. Not just with his friends but with his family as well.

 It was so azing seeing my Dylan grow up in a family home. His mom and dad and two siblings, family trips ever chance they got, their puzzle nights, the birthday parties. It was beautiful and I would say that I was jealous.

 I rember the night when he first came over to my house. I stared at the message freaking out. I've never invited anybody over to my house before except an old friend of course, but he was different he wasn't my friend my family knew about him.

 I guess it was just the thought of him being around in my house that sorta freaked my out. I was nervous but with excitement. I rember running to the living room to ask my mom if he can come over.

 She told me yes I just had to fi is my chores first. I cleaned the house top to bottom I didn't want to disappoint him, even though now I'm pretty sure he wouldn't mind.

 When he arrived I met him outside. Geeky and smiling from head to toe like I've never seen before. I remember him chasing me around the yard, me taking his hat and trying to throw it into the trash can before my mom told me to stop.

 I remember him taking us to the store and him sneaking and touching on my behind my mom's back, and when we left my mom in the store and ran to his car to wait on her hand and hand.

 We went back home and my mom bough him some friend shrimp and cookies that he picked out even though he didn't eat it. He ate the shrimp though.

I was running back and forth to my room deciding if i looked okay or what should I say to him next. He told me that he had to go pick up his cousin so I asked my mom could I ride with him.

 When she said yes I rember us going to the car and driving to the park and him pushing my on the swings. We couldn't stay out for long we knew that but that little memory was so intimate for me. It made me realize that I made the right choice to be with Dylan.

He was my Mr.Darcy of course.

Many months passed by of me and dylan becoming closer together, our relationship was becoming stronger then ever. I said i loved him then but now i think it was truly love for the both of us. I looked at him as my guarded angel we were ment for each other, he was everywhere all at once, even when he wasn't near me i could still feel him. I could still smell him.

 I don't know for sure but i think i was becoming insane. I mean in eighth grade i never felt that way about him. Maybe it was because we were young and dumb and didn't want nothing from each other except a title that we were together so people can stop bugging us. Even the teachers were bummed about the break up more then we were. 

 THEN

 HE

 I wasn't selfish i didnt blame him for the break up. well not to his face at least. Once we got back together it was like the break up fell out the window it wasnt brought up he said his apology and i beleived him. I still thought about it from time to time (like now) wondering if he would ever leave me again. We were much more older with a maturer mindset then the one we had when we were thirteen. I didnt care about his flaws, his anger issues, or that he didnt wipe after he got done peeing. I cared about his sanity, weather eh was happy with me or not, i didnt care about anything else but him. 

 Months and Months passed by till june came around, dylan was turning fifteen on the sixth. i was so overjoyed and it wasnt even my birthday. He was obsessed over stanger things at the time so i begged my grandmother to make him a cutomized shirt. i rember getting ready because he told me he was going to the water park for his birthday so my mom bought me blue shorts and a black fitted tank top. 

 I showered and got ready and as i was getting in his car he looked so disappointed. my shorts was two short i know that but i didnt think he was going to mind. junie what are you wearing he said with a disappointed face. what you dont like my outfit? i said annoyed. were not going to the water park anymore i was going to tell you after i got here. why wouldn't you tell me now? its fine can you take me to my grandma house so i can change? i asked. As he took my to my grandma house i raced threw the door trying to find something to change into i kept my shirt but found some jean shorts to put on. As i walked back to the car he didn't like the jean shorts i had on either he thought they were ugly and baggy.

 He ended up taking me to his house and pulling his sweat pants off to give to me to change into. I wasn't ashamed of him seeing me take the shorts off and putting on his sweats in front of him. What i was embrassed of was him throwing the shorts on the floor in front of his bedroom door and his mom finding them. She was so casual with it like its just something we do on a daily (it wan't of course). She handed them back to me while smiling while i took them like a dummy. After she left i couldn't even look at him. 

 He birthday was cool his parents sent him, me and his older brother to the movies. We ended up watching the latest sonic movie that just came out the movie was good. He was in the middle and his brother sat from the right of him and i say from the left. I remember we were about fifty minutes into the movie when dylan reached over and started rubbing my leg. Was he insane his brother was right there. I tried to move his hand over, but he just kept going futher upward on my leg it was weird but in a good way.

 After the movie was over with dylan wanted to go to olive garden i've never been of course but i didnt mind plus i was starving. His brother thought that he should stay in the car while we went and ate at the restaurant but dylan insisted that he came with. Im a girl im not dumb and i know when a girl is flirting with someone. That was exactly what this waitress was doing to him. 

 She asked what we wanted to drink and they told her sweet tea i told her sweet tea. Dylan knew i didnt like sweet tea.

 She asked what did we want to eat his brother ordered tacos, dylan ordered shrimp pasta, and i ordered shrimp pasta. He went balsitic. 

Why didnt you just say what you really wanted junie i know you didn't want that pasta. To my defense i did want that pasta.I didnt touch my plate after that i didnt want to eat in front of him i was getting pissed but in didnt want to fuck up his birthday. 

 We eventually made it back to town. Dylan's parents didnt want him back home yet so we decided to go to the store to kill time. I stepped on another aisle to call my grandma to talk about his shirt. When I came Back he was pissed i guess he thought that i stepped away to talk to a guy, but i mean are you fucking kidding me? Did you forget it was your birthday?

 On the ride back home i was silent i didnt want to talk i felt like i was being selfish at some sort i mean it was his birthday but your accusing me of cheating while in reality im trying to talk about your present. While at his party it was just his parents siblings and me his mother wanted us to dance. 1. My anxiety was bad. 2. I was mad at him. And 3. I didnt know how to dance. I tried my best but i was so uncomfortable that i just left and went in his room to talk to my mom since the music was loud and it was the only quiet place i can hear and be alone at. 

 When I made it back he didnt want to talk to me. He was sitting on the couch with a stank face when i walked in.Whats wrong with you? i asked. He didnt want talk to me at first. He said i was disrespecting him because i wasnt here when he needed me to be and that i was being selfish the whole day. 

 I know it was his birthday but what about what you was doing towards me the whole day? Was that supposed to be okay because it was your ¨ big day.¨ Imma go i you dont want me here and i'm not gonna mess your big day up for you no more. i went in his room to put my shoes back on. once i went back to the living room he act like he didnt care that i was leaving. 

 I waited behind his car for two minutes before i called my sister to tell her to unlocked the door for me. It was late and wasnt a really good idea to walk outside, but i wasnt going to stay there when I knew he didnt want me there. I walked with tears in my eyes crying like a little punk i didnt realize he was blowing up my phone when i made it to my grandma's house. 

I answered he was apologizing. 

I forgave him.

He wanted me to come back.

I did. 

He kissed me. 

I was okay.