Chapter 1: Death

It was a normal day for me. Get up, Freshen up, wait for the nurse to bring my breakfast and morning medicine, then watch anime and read LN and Manga & finally when I get bored look out the window of the hospital room.

My name is Akira Kurokami and I'm 20 years old. I live in a super cheap run down apartment. I didn't do further studies as I didn't have enough money for that. I don't have parents and I obviously live alone. I have had 5 or 6 relationships but none of them worked out and I am still, regrettably, a virgin. The most I've done is a quick peck on the lips, and probably all I will ever do with a girl. Sad Times.

When I said I didn't have any parents I did not mean that I am a orphan, more like wrongly disowned. My family is a pretty rich and influential family, they can buy the apartment complex I live in on a whim, fully furnish and repair the whole building and still don't give a shit about it. I have two siblings, a twin sister and a little sister. They are both geniuses unlike me. My little sister super athletic and has won many gold medals in alot of different sports on national level and my twin sister has already passed through post-graduate level of education and has a Doctor's degree.

Its like they are everything I'm not Smart, athletic, physically strong, beautiful. We are the exact opposites.

The worst thing about this is the judging gaze people look at me with when I say my name. I know I am not as good but you dont need to rub it in like that. I was disowned because I was not good enough. I had been dumped many times because I was not good enough. I was bullied because I was not good enough. I know that feeling the best. You dont need to remind me of that every time.

Aah crap I went off topic. Well about why I am here and how am I able to afford a personal room in a hospital.

----Flashback----

After being cheated on so many times, after being denied affection so many times I was about to give up on love but one day I met her. The one I thought to be the love of my life. She was a regular at the cafe I worked at as one of my part-time jobs. I was a waiter there so talking to her was inevitable. She had shoulder length black hair and black eyes and a beautiful face. Her name was Chinatsu Fujimura. So slowly but surely we started talking, texting, going on outings and finally I confessed to her and she accepted. At that point I was over the moon.

We dated for about two years and the longer the time I spent with her, the more I came to love her. We had also told each other about our lives. She was a normal girl who was going to college after completing school and wanted to be a doctor. But then everything went to hell.

You know, it felt like life hit me with all the misfortune that it could as hard as it can. We celebrated our 2 year anniversary and that day I gave her a very expensive ring that I had save up over a year for. Three days later when i was returning from buying groceries I had to take the long route since there was some road work or road maintenance going on. While going home I saw her in the park that was on that route. I was about to go to her but then I saw a guy sitting next to her. He was tall and handsome. I decided to watch from a distance and what I saw shocked me. They slowly leaned closer and closer and finally kissed.

Seeing that my world broke. I was angry. I was about to rush over there but when I saw the smile on her face I stopped. That smile was one of pure happiness. She doesn't even smile like that when we are together. They looked at each other so lovingly that all my anger changed into sadness and despair. I didn't say anything and quietly walked away to my house.

I didn't shed a single tear. Why would I? Its happened so many times before that I have to be the fool who doesn't understand anything. Every single one of relationships had ended in me being cheated on.

But still this was different. I felt so much unbearable pain every time I thought about her. I wanted to go and confront her but that scene with that guy plays in my head. Who was I to deny her from leaving me? The way she looked at him, smiled at him, it was the same as a maiden in love. In the end I didn't talk to her for a few days.

So after three days I called her in the same park and she knew something was wrong after looking at my dead eyes that had lost their light. I stayed silent for a while and after seeing as she was not saying anything I decided to break the silence with a few simple words.

Akira: I am breaking up with you.

Just as I said that it she had the look of fear on her face. Why? Why are you making such a face? Wasn't it you who cheated on me?

Chinatsu:*panicking & scared* W-What are you talking about? I-If its a j-joke then its not a good one.

Akira: I am not joking. I actually want to end it.

Chinatsu: WHAT?! WHY!?

Akira: Don't you know the answer to that yourself.

Chinatsu:*angry & confused* What ro you mean by that!?

Akira:*coldly* Why don't you look around and see where we are.

She started to look here and there and finally realization hit her like a truck. She tried to play it off but I knew better than to believe her.

Chinatsu:*panicking & scared* W-What are you t-talking about. I-I don't u-understand what you mean.

Akira:*coldly* Its no use lying. I have seen it myself when I was passing through here. You were here in this park with another guy and you kissed him. You looked at him so.....*littles sad tone* lovingly. You smiled so beautifully after that. You have never shown such a smile before with me. So I decided that you should be with the one you truly love without having to sneak around.

Chinatsu, seeing that there was no use in lying, started giving excuses and apologizing again and again while crying.

Akira:*hurt & cold* Why are you crying? Shouldn't I be the one crying? You said it was the 'heat of the moment', is that really enough to forget the person you have been with for the past two years? Am I really that forgettable even after all the time we spent together? Well, I am going and wish you to be happy with the guy you chose.

She went silent after that, quietly standing there and sobbing.

Two months later I went to a doctor because I was having breathing problems and severe pain in my chest area. The reports came in and it said that my heart has deteriorated alot and this is affecting my lungs too. It was too late to do anything. I don't understand, I don't even smoke or anything like that so why am I getting this problem.

It turns out that it was a genetic problem. I found this out from tests and decided to call my parents after a long time to ask them about it. It was very awkward talking to them but I got to know that this is problem that occurred due to my mom's side. She, after alot of pleading, told me that it came from her side of the family as her father had the same problem but a little later.

I pleaded to them, I literally begged them to atleast take care of the hospital fee and after alot of begging they finally agreed but on the condition that I would never contact them again, as if we were strangers.

----Flashback End----

That was six months ago, but I feel that today is the final day. The day my suffering would end. I say suffering because over time it has only gotten worse and now even breathing is a hard task. I just have this feeling you have when you know something wrong is bout to happen.

Living life as if strapped with a time bomb that could go off at anytime was terrifying. Know that my death was close was really scary. Scary because of the fear of the unknown, will my consciousness just go poof when I die as if someine switched off a light bulb or will I go to a place where only happy dreams live.

Thinking about my life so far I started crying, finally breaking the dam that had been keeping my emotions at bay.

W-Why me? Why is it always me? After going through so many hardships, so many challenges here I am waiting at my death bed all alone without anyone to care for me.I wanted a happy and fun highschool life. I wanted alot of friends. I wanted a family. I wanted to go to parties and celebrate festivals with my friends and loved ones. I wanted to feel love and affection. I wanted to have a wife, kids, grandkids. I wanted to be.... accepted for myself. But in the end I was never 'good enough' for any thing.

I guess the most I can do is wish for a happy second life with lots of love.

With that thoughts, I drifted off to sleep.

3rd POV

In a private hospital room, there was a man sleeping there with a peaceful yet sad expression. Slowly the beeping of the heart-rate monitor lessened and finally stopped. He had died in a painless and peaceful way.

Soon, the doctors came rushing in but alas they were too late. They tried to start his heart again but failed. That day Akira Kurokami was declared dead.

They took the contact people from his smartphone and told them about the news. The ones they called were his parents, siblings, his ex and many other people. He himself had tried to call them except Chinatsu but no one answered. His sisters didn't even see the texts and calls he sent.

Some people were devastated and some couldn't care less. A funeral was held for him by his sisters and surprisingly, alot of people came.

Many were feeling empty, guild and various other emotions. His sisters were in the worst state. If only they had read or answered one of the calls there was a chance that he would still be here. They remembered all the times they played together, had fun together, the number of times he took the blame for thier mistake and how many times he beat up kids who wanted to tease them. But as time went by the too turned cold to him but he didn't hate them till the end.

Chinatsu was in despair. The man she cheated on him woth left her after a few months, it was only then she realized how much Akira loved her. After her break up things didn't go well with her as she found out that the guy only wanted her for her body, and when she denied him his kind and gentle persona changed and he tried to force her but luckily she escaped and soon broke up with him. To her life felt empty without Akira but alas she was too late.

While this was happening the person in question was expieriencing something super bizzare and abnormal.

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Hey guys this is my first time writing a book so please tell me about your thoughts on this chapter and how I can make it better. Also he wont be a sad emo boi, but will just have trust issues.

Se you in the next chapter 👋