You Are So Fucked

Vee's point of view

"what was the actual fuck was that?" Amber whispered to me then minutes later in class. I looked over at her and arched a brow at her, letting her understand that I didn't understand what on planet Earth she was talking about. "the sigh" she simply said

"the sigh?"

"yes dumb dumb, the the gross sound me made when Cal called you... " she shivered digustedly. "Binky"

"I didn't sigh" I whisper yelled

"you did too"

"I so did not!!!" this time when I said it I didn't whisper, in fact I yelled and everyone turn to look at me.

"you so did not what, Xavier?" Mr Robitousin asked giving me the look. the look of which I speak of is the look of utter disgust our history teacher gave to certain students, by certain students I mean me, he was like the Snape to my Harry Potter, he despised my existence and i mean it, this isn't like the miserable teacher doesn't like all students, this.... energy is solely directed at me and I do not claim any of that energy

"do you find pleasure in disrupting my class?" he asked me maintaining the look.

"sir I don't, I'd never do that on purpose"

"last week you broke into song in the middle of my class. two weeks ago, you were sleeping and snoring rather loudly, on Friday, you started drumming on your desk. you are like a noise machine and you need to turn yourself off and shut up" Caleb was a nice enough looking guy and I swear I was listening but I also wasn't listening because Caleb was sitting in front of the class staring at me and our eyes met and he smiled at me and I could help but smile back. "do you understand me?"

"yes, I'm loud and I'm a turn off, got it!" I say at once and everybody bursts out laughing breaking me out of my Caleb trance. "what did I say?"

"I.. I... why would you say such a thing?" Snape... I mean Robitousin asked, his face red with anger, I think

"because you said it!!" the laughter increased.

"I said no such thing"

"but you did!!"

"I so did not!!!" he said and it caught both of us off guard.

"isnt that the exact sentence that started this whole conversation in the first place?" I asked and he laughs, not a happy laugh but an I hate my life kind of laugh.

"you know what, Xavier. I can't with you today. jus... just sit quietly for the rest of the class, I will have zero words from you from now on. And if I do here a word from you, I can assure you a day of detention" he says and points at me.

because I was promised food by Amber and because I would die if I didn't have waffles for after school, I smiled and said "yes, sir.... wait!!!. does that count!!!" he glared at me for a full minute before he turned around and continued teaching his class.

I turned and looked at Amber as she shakes her hard disapprovingly, I roll my eyes and look at Caleb instead and he looks at me and smiles.

»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»

I'm at lunch under the bleachers. it not that I'm hiding from anyone. it's just become a habit, I like the quiet that comes from being under here and I also like the fact that no one asks me why I always drink green tea from a thermos. Mom absolutely loves tea, so, she shares that love of tea with us by forcing us to have it with her. for the last six years, mom had made it a habit to pack tea into our lunches and I was really appreciative of it. it helped relax and feel warm in the coldest days and when it was too hot, The brat and I would pour away half of our tea and replace it with ice cream so it'd be sweet and cold too.

we learnt the ice cream thing from Dad and Wendell. Wendell worked at dairy Queen so he did alot of weird stuff to his ice cream. Day liked the weird ice cream tea too. he said he thought tea was gross and that ice cream could make anything better.

Dad was the look out and we were the thieves. he'd watch if mom was coming while we stole the ice cream and he'd alert us if she was. sometimes she'd catch us and scold us with big words we didn't understand and sometimes she wouldn't catch us at all and we'd cackle as dad drove us to school.

I felt my throat close up and the tears bubbling inside me and I was very grateful for the phone call that came in at that moment. I looked at the caller ID and saw it was Wendell.

"Hey, Wendy" I said and he groans and I laugh.

"please don't call me that" he says, his voice a grunt. "how are you doing, kid?"

"good but I miss you" he laughs softly. "when are you coming back"

"um... I honestly don't know, kid. I'll let you know when I'm coming back" he does this alot, calls to just talk for twenty to thirty seconds, to make sure you're alright and then he hangs up and calls like five hours later. "I'll call you back-"

"uhm wait!!" I don't know why I asked him to wait but I also think I do.

"what is it kid?" he says softly. I can tell he's worried. he can hear when something is off just from how I sound. he's my best friend, he knows all my hopes and dreams and everything about me, from all the lies I've told to all the secrets I keep. I immediately know why I asked him to wait.

"well..." I took a deep breath. "so yes, I went over to this guy's house and we played video games..."

"yeah?... " he didn't sound impatient, he honestly sounded worried.

"he.. uhm.. he kinda.. uhm... kissed me" I mumbled. he let out a sound of surprise

"oh" was all he said.

"I told him I wasn't into it but ..."

"you are into it" he finishes for me.

"yeah"

"it's okay if you're into it, you're allowed to like who you like, you're allowed to have... sexual feelings. dude, you're only sixteen, you're at your hormonal crazy sex stage and you're allowed to enjoy it. with a girl and/or a boy"

"eww I'd never do it with a guy and a girl at once, that sounds gross"

"welp, one man's food is another man's poison" he says and I can here him take a sip of something.

"tea?"

"yeah, ginger, way better than the green stuff" I take a sip of mine when he says. "is there something else?"

"yeah... you know that solar system game they play at school?"

"yes, why?" I tell him everything that happened, from how I got picked to Caleb trance, when I was done he bursts out laughing and says. "kid, guess what?"

"what?"

"you are so fucked" he hangs up with a promise to call me soon and I sit there wondering if I was truely fucked.