They're Never Going To Accept Me

Xavier's point of view

I was pretty sure this week wasn't going to be anything like last week. then I was his boyfriend but now, I'm... not?.

I'm so fucking confused, he told me I was the only one but he never told me was I was his boyfriend and I don't really know how to act around him.

Right now I was walking in between Shawn and Michael and I had no idea why the both of them weren't dating because they totally wanted to bone each other.

"soooo, how much sex did we have?" Micheal whispers to me, throwing an arm over my shoulder and I choke on nothing, coughing and gasping rather dramatically.

"stop it, Palmer" Shawn says absentmindedly, staring at his phone as he walked

"I will not" he leans in closer to me and whisper. "I haven't been getting anything lately, so I'm living vicariously through you" he had said pressing a kiss on to my cheek.

I giggle and push his face away. "what are you doing? why are you ignoring me?" I snatch Shawn's phone from him.

"Vee!" he snapped at me, harshly. and I jolt a bit because it was the first time I'd ever heard him upset.

"uhm... Shawny, are you okay?" Micheal asks softly.

"yeah, what's wrong? I've never heard you get upset before" I scoot closer and envelope him in a hug. "have a hug" she wrapped his hand around me.

he leans in closer to my ear and whispers. "I don't want to talk about it in front of he who most not be named that's standing right behind us"

"Micheal?" I ask.

"yeah?" Micheal replies quickly. oops, guess I was talking too loud.

"wasn't talking to you, hon" i tell him and turn back to Shawn. "you'll tell me later, right?, I want to be sure that you're okay"

"I will" he wraps his hand around my shoulder. "sorry for snapping at you, I was just... I'll tell you later"

"so, you two are just going to keep me out of the loop?"

"yeah" I say

"pretty much" shawn says.

"I can't even begin to... oh, look, Caleb Keller's coming!" he says quickly and my heart nearly jumps out of my chest. I look up and see Caleb coming towards us and he's smiling at me.

"hi" he says as soon as he reaches me.

"hi" I reply and I was so sure I was blushing brightly.

"uhm... so I have basketball practice today after school... could you wait behind, I wanted to take you... uhm somewhere"

"ohhh, somewhere" Micheal chirps in.

"shush" I shush Micheal and he smiles silently. I turn and face Caleb. "okay"

"wait for me on the bleachers?"

"yeah"

"okay... uhm, see you then. bye guys" he brushes past me and runs his fingers along mine, turning around to smile at me. "bye, Xavier"

"he is head of the other side of the earth in love with you" Shawn says crankily.

"no, he's not"

"yeah, he is" Micheal says.

"see, something we can agree on" Shawn says.

"you know, I'm not going to take any advice either of you give me about love because you know absolutely nothing about it" I tell them both of them and walk ahead of them.

"uhm, why?" Shawn says from behind me.

they both run after me "Dont tell me you don't see it, that dude is In love with you and there is absolutely nothing that you will tell me what will make me doubt that" Micheal says.

"yeah, totally in love" Shawn says and leans in close. "plus, there's absolutely no guy on planet Earth who would give a guy he wasn't in love with matching jewelry" I blushed as I notice what he was looking at. I'd found a way to hook the earrings on the BTS key chain attached to my phone and his eyes were glued to mine.

"yeah, he's right" Micheal winks at me and says, "I've got class at the other side of school so I have to take a detour, so... bye. love you, vee, screw you Shawny"

"yeah, literally screw him" I mutter under my breath as he walks away.

"what?"

"nothing" I say and interlock our arms as we walk.

I wasn't really sure if the entire school knew we even broke up at all because we were always together and it kind of looked like we were still dating.

Shawn sighs and I look up at him. "something's wrong" I say.

"yeah, I think need to explain the whole moody thing and why I couldn't say it in front of Micheal" Shawn played with his fingers as he spoke to me and I knew that something was wrong.

"it's okay, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to, you don't owe me anything" I tell him and he smiles.

"you know, you're one of the nicest people I've ever met in my entire life and I'm so glad that I got the chance to meet you and love you... not in a weird way though" I laugh because I already knew that. his features turn seriously and I knew he was done evading and that he was going to tell me what go him in a bad mood "you know how I told you I hadn't come out to my parents yet and that it was complicated?"

"yeah..."

"it's not really complicated... it's just that there homophobic" he say and I frown. his parents are homophobes but he was so... bright and expresses himself however he chooses to. he wore bright coloured clothes and painted his nails and just looked rather pretty.

I'm about to say something about how he looks pretty but then it hit me. "di.. did they hurt you?"

"no, no... they'd never... my mom wouldn't" the fact that he didn't say his dad wouldn't scared me a little.

I had to ask "would your dad?"

"I.. I don't know"

"tell me what happened that got you upset" I have never seen him like this before, it was like he was a whole different person. I could tell he was struggling to explain whatever was going on with him and I wanted to tell him that he didn't have to tell me but I was curious to know what was going on in his head and with him. I had to know that he was safe

"it's... it's...." he groans. "okay, so last week, I went to the supermarket with my parents and we saw this guy working in one of the aisles and he had makeup on. my dad went on a rant about how men are not supposed to wear makeup literally seconds after we walked passed him and he heard and I could see the guy's expression drop.

it kind of got to me because one day, he'll find out I'm gay and treat me the same. I know you might think he wouldn't but he would, he hates gays, they both do and finding out their precious baby boy is gay is going to make then hate me"

"do you think, you could maybe try to convince them?"

he let's out a bitter laugh. "the only thing that might make them see gay people as normal is if their precious godson magically turns gay" Micheal wasn't gay?... I really thought he was at least bi and I've been shipping them in my head. "it's always Micheal this, Micheal that... sometimes I think they actually love him More than they love me" he sighs. "I'm sorry for dumping this on you"

"dump away, you let me dump you and my Caleb pining on you and it's your turn to do the dumping" the smile that crosses his face somewhat loosen my tightening heart but it's gone soon after.

"my mom's Catholic and my dad is Nigerian and also Catholic... people still get killed for being gay in Nigeria, like how barbaric is that?" I can see the door to my class up ahead and I can hear the bell ringing but I stop in the middle of the hall and hug him. "they're never going to accept me"

I didn't know what to say. I had it easy, I had a family that accepted me in a heartbeat and here he was struggling and I was so focused on Caleb that I never even noticed what was going on. I had to put in more effort with my friends.

"they might or they might not but no matter what, I will always accept you and I'm pretty sure our friends do too... even Micheal... gay or not" i pull away and he's smiling.

"I know" he kisses my forehead and leaves me to go to class.

I head to the door, take a deep breath and open it. "you're late Mr Castor!" Mr Robitussin sat and glares at me

"sorry, sir"

Mr Robitussin is a freaking duck!!!