Hey, Hey. I Know. Don't Cry, Xavier

Xavier's point of view

I screamed into my pillow for the third time this week... fuck!. Grace Angelo's Instagram was swimming with pictures of her and Caleb. with all the other girls, they didn't post as much but with her, she posted every fucking hour and you know what? if you didn't know about the solar system game, you'd actually think they were dating each other.

I was so fucking happy because they were over. it was Sunday night and thier date was fucking over but I was also pissed that come tommorow Morning, he'll be Makayla Applebottom's boyfriend but at least it'll only be three more days before it was my turn.

mom didn't let me go to school for the rest of the week. I so badly wanted to go to school but mom didn't let me. she wanted me to have a mental health day or rather days.

Caleb had kept up with me all week, he'd check up with me at all times and make sure I was alright, he even got his dads to visit and it was a delight having them around. they even got invited to sit through dinner with us. I'd never seen mom smile so much since 'the incident'

that's what we call it now. the incident.

Alex was suspended off school and kicked off the basketball team which also caused his scholarship to be terminated after the video of my bad ass sister kicking his dumb ass was all over school.

he was arrested on wednesday after we filed an attempted rape report against him and he is going to be trialed in court. unfortunately for him, he's eighteen and can actually go to jail for it.

I was scared to go back to school on Monday, obviously but I was also proud of myself for not backing down. I'm pretty sure the whole school knows what happened and I would gladly walk those hall ways.

"what are you doing?" Caleb sent.

I smile and text back. "thinking"

"about?"

"everything"

"how vague.. can I come over?"

"don't you have a date with destiny?"

"if you're talking about Grace, our date is over and I'd much rather spend time with you" I blush at the text. lately he's been super cute with me.

"you can come over... turns out flattery can get you somewhere"

he sends a string of emojis. a winky face, a smile face and a kissy face

I'm about to throw the covers over my head when I hear mom scream in a sing song "Binky, Cal is here!!!!" I groan and cover my face with the cover. "I'm sending him up to your room please keep it PG up there" mom says loud enough for me to here.

I hear my door open slowly but I don't take the covers away from my face. "I know you're awake" Caleb says and I suppress the urge to giggle. "I was sitting out in my car for the past ten minutes thinking if I should come in or not and now I do and you're fake sleeping" he says jokingly.

I sigh and uncover my face. "hi"

"hi" he walks over to the bed and says. "can i get in with you?"

I lift the cover up and scoot over for him. he slides in next to me and covers both of us with the blanket. he snuggles closer to me but doesn't touch me.

"hi" I say when I turn to look at him.

"hi" he replies and slides his hand into mine. "I'm going to say something and don't get upset, okay?"

panic shoots through me. "what happened ?"

"Sophie and some girls at school think you're lying about Alex and their kind of protesting... they aren't any cameras in the changing room because it's a changing room, so they're kinda being dicks about it" he whispers to me and I cringe inwardly. I was pissed. of course they wouldn't believe me.

"but the blood test says the blood on my shirt is his, the cut on his stupid mouth is there!!" tears bloom in my eyes and I want to scream at everyone.

"hey, hey. I know. don't cry, Xavier" he scoots closer to me and wraps his arms around me. "it's okay, baby... it's okay"

it wasn't okay but I melt into him and hold onto him tightly as I cry. he whispers softly into my ear and strokes my hair. "who is protesting at the school?" I whimper.

"Sophie, Calum, David and Jess with some of the seniors at school" I curl into him when I hear Jess's name. Caleb was a junior and I was a sophomore. Alex was a senior so I could understand why the seniors were protesting. "wanna know the good part, though?"

"is there a good part?" I sniff and he looks down at me.

"yeah... when it comes to you, there's always a good part" I don't know why I suddenly felt warm but I do. "most of the sophomores and juniors are protesting the protestors because they're protecting a rapist. Amber, Micheal, Shawn, your sister and Calley organized the whole thing because the protestors started spreading dumb rumors about"

I burst into fresh tears as he say this. "they're fighting for me?" I sob loudly.

"of course we are, we care about you and we wanna protect you, okay?"

"okay" he kisses me, slow and soft and it's everything because he cares and he wants to protect me.

"I'll be with you every step of the way tommorow and if I'm not there, someone will be... we aren't leaving you alone" his fingers are still intertwined with mine and his other hand was still stroking my hair.

I had to go ahead and kill the mood with my stupid question. "how did you meet Sophie?" I feel him stiffen against me. "I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry I asked that" I blurt out and tighten our fingers. I feel him relax and I look up at him "I'm sorry" I whisper.

"Xavier, it's okay... I told you I'd tell you some other time and I guess now's the other time" he sighs and sits up in the bed and I sit up too just so I wouldn't have to let go of his hand.

"you don't have to tell me... I can see it's not a really happy story" I tell him and he chuckles.

"understatement of the year" he say and just casually leans into me. "but I do want to tell you, I want to know more about you, the same way I want you to know more about me" he takes a deep breath and speaks. "I didn't like here as a kid, I moved her when I was like ten but I liked in this tiny Town in Minnesota called bright falls. I was my dad's home town and it was also my mother's

"my dad and my mom were high school sweetheart and when they graduated high school, the only logical thing for them to do was get married and have two point five kids... my dad was never straight but he was way too scared to come out to my mother and break their relationship so they stayed that way until my mom got pregnant. my dad's parents made him marry her, my mom. literally forced him into making the worse decision of his life because of something as stupid as duty"

I could tell the story was hard for him to tell but I also knew he wanted to do this and make me a part of his life.

"they had me and I was keeping the relationship together until my dad couldn't handle lying anymore and it was tearing him apart and eating him up from the inside. he came out to my mother... she didn't take it well. she called him faggot, she broke things... I remembered, I was five then, I think" he takes his fingers through his beautiful hair. "they stayed together in that toxic relationship for six years because of me... the fall out wasn't great... she called him all kinds of disgusting names and in a fit to... fix things, I think... she outed him to his parents" tears bloom in my eyes. this was someone's life being ruined. "they went ballistic, threatened to take me away and I guess that was when dad really understood what him coming out would cost but he didn't want to take it back and be in Loveless marriage for the rest of his life

"he got himself a lawyer and fought for custody for me in court and got shared custody" his eyes gleam as he tells this part of the story. "the lawyer was my papi, is my papi and I guess they found each other and kinda bonded over how similar their situations were. Papi had my brother Luke then and luke was like two then.

they fell in love and moved in together after like a year or so and I think that was when it really hit my mom that my dad was gay.

she called CPS on them ananimusly and told them they were two gay men molest two kids and without investigation anything they took me away"

"god, people are so fucking prejudiced" I mutter as I cry. I was lucky. I didn't have any real fear when I came out, everyone accepted that I was gay but what if my mother hadn't, I don't think i would ever be Happy again.

to be continued