Torn Flesh

I jabbed the knife into my neck as hard as I could. The blade sank about halfway through my throat, sending a jarring shock of pain through my body, freezing me.

I wanted to continue moving, to push the knife the rest of the way through and slice it out, but the pain was so unbearable I couldn't move. My mouth opened, but all that came out was a grotesque gurgle as blood spilled from my lips.

Tears welled up in my eyes. It was a bad idea to do this.. I had known that.. but I did it anyway, and now I was suffering for it. Why was I so stupid? Trying to cut open my throat.. with a dull blade? Anyone would know how painful that would be.

But it was too late to go back. I finally regained control of my body, and I did all I could to ignore the pain, pushing the blade in all the way before attempting to push forward to slice through my neck. The pain was unbearable, but, instead of wilting beneath it, I used it as fuel to make myself stronger and to push the blade all the way through, and then, with a horrendous splatter of blood, the knife sliced through my flesh and flew free of my fingers, clattering to the ground.

I slumped to the ground, clasping my throat as I choked and gurgled blood, crimson spilling from my severed neck and drenching the floor in puddles of dark red. I fell to the ground, collapsing from the pain. As I lay there, I expected to fade out, to black out it all and drift away into the clutches of death. But I didn't. I stayed there, staring forward blankly. Why wasn't I dying?

And then I realized the pain began to fade.

My eyes widened more than they already were. The blood puddles began to move, flowing back towards me and filling into my wound as my skin began to seal over it, a strange, itchy sensation all across where the wound had been. And now it was gone. And I was healed completely, as if nothing had happened.

"What...?" I asked blankly and weakly, getting to my knees. The pain was gone, and I was alive. It was as if it had never even happened, only small amounts of blood being left on the knife and floor.

"There... there's no way.." I said to myself,  it able to believe what just happened. Had it all been a dream? Had I not really slit my throat? Had it not happened? No... that pain.. it was definitely real. So then how...?

*CRACK*

My eyes went wide and my mouth involuntarily opened wide in a horrific scream.

In that moment, it felt like my entire body had been split apart and shattered, every single one of my bones snapping.

I looked down at my arms with terrified eyes as something began to bulge up along my forearm from beneath my skin, slowly moving up. The sound of cracking, popping, and snapping bones came from every last part of my body.

And then, my flesh and skin tore open, blood splattering across the floor as reddish white bones tore through my body. First my arms, a bone spike protruding from my forearms and pointing forward out from my wrist like a weapon of some kind. Then bone spikes broke through the skin of my fingertips, tearing up my fingernails as I dug those new claws into the ground in pain.

My ribs popped outwards and pushed forwards, stabbing through my flesh and creating an outer ribcage around my chest, almost like bone armor, and then my shoulder blades jutted out, limbs growing from them. My flesh was stretched, pulled and torn asunder, the most painful feeling one could possibly imagine in the world.

I could hear nothing but the sound of my own scream and the snapping of my own bones.

A set of skeleton arms grew from my back, unnaturally long and ending in massive talons. I could feel my skull split in half, then pierce through my skin and jut up, creating a bone helmet that went down over my eyes as my teeth grew larger, piercing through my lips and tearing apart my gums and large, sharp teeth jutted outward. And then my head was more alike that of a wolf's skull, red eyes gleaming through the hollow eye sockets.

A few moments later, though it felt like hours, the cracking and tearing stopped, and my flesh began to heal over, adjusting to the new shape and structure of my bones.

I was soaked in sweat and blood, and my entire body ached terribly as I planted, gasping for breath. I couldn't move. My body and mind were both far too shocked to do anything, I was frozen in pain and agony. I could hardly even believe I was alive.

*No way..* I thought, *No... this can't be happening... there is no way... I'm... a.."

"Onnai..?" Came a voice.

My eyes went wide and I slowly turned my head and looked over towards the door, where, in the faint light that filled the darkness of my house through the open door, I could see Yamari.

My heart stopped.

*She... is going to hate me..*

"Ya...mar...i..." I spoke, but it came out as a deep groan or growl like that of a beast.

Tears began to stream down Yamari's face. "Oh my god.. it is you.."

*She is going to be scared of me.. I'll never see her again.. and I can't even die..*

And then, to my shock, Yamari came towards me and dropped to her knees beside me and wrapped her arms about me, crying, as she held me to her.

"Sto...p.. you..ll.. get... hurt.." I groaned.

"I don't care.." she whimpered, "why didn't you tell me...? Why...? I could have helped you.."

I was silent.

"I saw the knife. I saw the blood.. why didn't you tell me Damnit! Why would you ever want to kill yourself you fucking idiot!"