Something she wished she could change

The next two weeks was hell for Suu. She had watched Kasi slowly waste away as she listened to her instructions on combat training, magic and survival. There were a few sprinkled lessons regarding the 'womanly' practices that were deemed as necessary here. She'd been spending her time between practicing these skills herself to allow herself time to acclimate between the ever expanding pool of knowledge readily available to her and wondering exactly what she was supposed to do for Kasi. There was no one who would be willing to bury her mother, or even to perform a funeral or rites once she finally passed on. And being a recent denizen here didn't yield her any ideas as to how to handle the awkwardness of her overall ability to survive here... she was stumped.

Her skin color at the very least could be mistaken for someone from a more rural area if she didn't make her heritage known. But really what heritage did she have? Even with the memories of the Quwu ancestors and her desire to help fulfill their desire to keep their people alive, she had to admit that she was like a small child, she didn't have the ability to survive here without help. She wasn't thrilled at the prospect of having to learn more about a culture that enslaved others like cattle. Even less thrilled to make her living here among them. But aside from slowly building a place for herself, in this feudal society she was lost as to how to go about making heads or tails of the tools she was being so generously handed. She'd lived a relatively regular life before, struggled to pay off student loans, find a job to support herself, make her way slowly through her field of expertise... what was she supposed to do other than possibly build a business from her skill of embroidery?

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Kasi sighed softly to herself as she sat against the chaise that Suu had bought for her comfort. She had to admit that she was beginning to hate even more this place where she'd spent half her life... her baby would soon be without her, but she could find no other way to give her anything of importance that would allow her to be more than she had been after the long years of oppression that her people had suffered. Their minds, bodies and spirits had long been broken by the cruel and harsh means of torture used to force their compliance.

Her whole family has been slaughtered she was sure, and had no way to help them herself. The color of her skin made it so that she seemed even less than human to these pale beauty and strength obsessed savages. She'd heard stories of some Ancestors being able to rival the strength of the other races, but it had been so long ago that their might as a people had fallen so low as to be trampled upon by others like mere grass under their feet. She didn't hope for Suu to save the remaining Quwu and their descendants... simply for her to be able to live with her head held high and to never have to bow to anyone as though she was lucky to be breathing the same air as them. "Suu, my child. Mother has one last thing to teach you." She said to herself as she looked out the window out toward the horizon, wishing to herself that she had been stronger and had been able to do more for her daughter.

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When Suu saw Kasi sleeping soundly as she opened the door later to deliver food to her, she again felt a pang of guilt for taking the love and care that had been meant for someone else. Even though this path was not one she had started herself, she at least had to make sure she wasn't anyone's property, she was going to make sure of that. "Mother, wake up. Suu has made you some porridge." As she set the bowl down she gently woke the sleeping woman and helped her sit up before patiently feeding her the meal. Even though the food wouldn't help her recover she was glad to know that at least she could do such things for Kasi.

"Suu, you must listen to Mother. When I finally do succumb and breath my last, you must take my body and burn it. Do not bury me. Even further do not attempt to find anyone to bless it or those other silly things that these people do here. As a woman of Quwu, my body should return to the land. And my spirit shall be at ease for knowing that you can care for yourself." Kasi held the small hand of her gentle daughter within both of hers, her eyes earnest and shining with tears, tinged with a bit of regret. Only when Suu was able to live peacefully and without being used by others as she had been would she be content with her lot.

Suu felt her eyes growing hot with unshed tears as she listened to Kasi, knowing that this was coming to an end. Very soon there would be nothing that could be said except goodbye.

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A few days later Kasi had finally breathed her last after telling Suu again and again that she loved her, and even if everything else in life had been something she wished she could change, that she was nothing short of elated that she had been able to give birth to such a lovely little girl; that the time she'd spent with her had been too short, but it had been the happiest she'd been since before she'd been enslaved all those years ago. Suu was the reason that she continued to live after all, all of her care and attention had been used to make sure that her daughter even though looked down upon never doubted that she was loved.

Suu waited until the next morning before she finished arranging her Mother on the pyre pallet she'd had delivered a little ways outside the city walls, she'd decided that she would follow Kasi's last wishes in the end and burn her body before retrieving a bit of the ashes to carry with her in remembrance. The fire burned for quite a while before finally subsisting. The smell was horrid, but made Suu all the more sad; this strong and kind woman could only be prayed for by a single being, and could not receive the luxury of being buried as these heartless animals of the country that she was a citizen of. Her tears had long dried against her cheeks as she made sure that the fire burned down into nothing, the grief in her heart was heavy as she wished that she could have enjoyed more time with Kasi... her own mother having been dead by the time she could speak had given her a sense of detachment from her as she'd never done anything more than seen or heard of her from second hand accounts from family. But she could only allow herself his amount of time to briefly be overwhelmed by the prospect of being alone in a foreign plane of existence that she only had a shallow understanding of.

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As she walked back home by herself, a small vial filled with the ashes she'd collected of Kasi was secure now, worn around her neck to keep it close. The trek back was performed mechanically, her thoughts elsewhere and occupied by the face that she was now truly alone in this world and had no real clue on how to survive.