Chapter eight. Dank school and mixed feelings

A gust of wind blew up a scattering of yellow leaves that somehow ended up on the school roof. All the sounds of Hideki seemed somehow unreal, background, like in an old American movie. They were talking somewhere on the sports field, but the big basketball players, paying attention to the dank cold, could hear the ball hitting the shield. In the old building of the school clubs, someone, apparently from the music club, mocked the guitar, forcing it to make heartbreaking sounds going off into the gray autumn sky. The members of the brass instrument club stayed caught up to him, too. But Kazume Hideki, who was standing on the roof in front of his girlfriend Kyoko Ame, almost the same as a month and a half ago, did not perceive all these sounds at all.

"I'm not your girlfriend, Anpan—kun, anymore!" And I've never really been one! Kyoko's voice, firmly etched into his memory, was slightly vibrating with pent—up feelings but was straightforward.

It was chilly and windy on the roof of the school. It was already late autumn, but it seemed to Hideki even colder than usual today. He had almost forgotten that Kyoko-chan was dating him because of his strong suspicion because of some strange reasons. Hideki shivered in the cold, biting wind. However, what exactly did he expect? Well, at least he had enough excellent memories after everything between them.

He initially knew it would end like this, so why does it hurt so much?! I wanted to howl at the injustice, smash my fists against the wall, and somehow release this rage, another disappointment and frustration. But he decided to hold back. Kyoko's confession also made it clear that this was not her initiative. So the breakup probably wasn't her idea either. It is pointless to be angry at a chip caught in a mountain stream that escapes from a hand trying to grab it. All he had to do was to adequately end the wrongly started and crookedly continued relationship with the girl he once liked. And yet, despite everything, I liked her a little even now. But it was impossible to show exactly how he felt. No matter who initiated this breakup, he would never show his feelings. It will not give them such pleasure. And you can get rid of rage, anger, and resentment in the workshop basement, on the makiwara of Mato-san.

"Thank you for taking care of me, Ame—san," Hideki bowed, hoping that his eyes, which were watering from the wind, of course, from the wind, were not visible.

He kicked the fallen leaves that appeared on the road but could not outwardly give away his thoughts and feelings. Slamming the door to the roof behind him, trying his best not to slam too hard, Hideki saw the drooping and powerless figure of Ame, gray in the light of a dim day, who did not budge after she loudly and even in some way a little pathetically broke off their relationship.

***

This classroom was rarely visited by chance — one of the farthest rooms in the old school building, once there seemed to be a tea ceremony club, later a shogi club, now it stood empty and was not even always locked. The classroom at first glance was clean, but Kyoko, who came here after lessons, noted to herself that there was some nasty smell in this abandoned classroom on the top floor after lessons, such as in a room where they tried to clean out the mold. Still, it did not succeed until the end; it was too deeply ingrained.

Gita Terrikoto, just as she had called her here then, to give her the next "task personally":

"So, Ame—san, your next assignment is to confess your love…

But Kyoko had been fed up with all this for a long time, and even the prospect of future bullying by this echidna and her gang seemed less significant to her than Hideki—kun's lost expression this morning. It flashed across Hideki-kun's face for a split second, but Kyoko looked at his face with all her attention. Even if I tried not to notice it, she raised her head and said what she had wanted to say for a long time…

— Fuck you, Terikoto-san. Kyoko, who uttered these words, turned pale but decided to stand to the end, "If you're a whore yourself, and you just don't dare jump on someone, you don't use me.

— And if I ... — she tried to threaten, and even though she had something to threaten, Kyoko would not give in this time.

— Fuck it! Fuck off and die there. What are you going to do to me? I don't give a fuck about all of you creatures! Kyoko looked around at the girls standing behind Terikoto, who had turned pale from such pressure. — Or have you been rejected somehow, and you hold a grudge against everyone?

Gila Terikoto's face changed for a split second, but Kyoko realized it was so.

"Did Kazumi—san turn you down?"

Gila's face didn't change much, but from the look in her eyes, Kyoko was sure it was a second hit. This was unsurprising considering how Hideki—kun looked a few years ago.

But of Gila's closest girlfriends, only skinny Rifu Manomoto, who wore expensive jewelry, looked surprised. The girly, plump Funi Tonigari, who wore short skirts without stockings in late autumn, did not look surprised. Unlike Manomoto, she had known Gila and Hideki since elementary school.

— Don't bother me... — the door closed behind the one who flew out of the club room. Ame Kyoko flew to the roof and hoped very much that no one was there and no one would see or hear her pent-up sobs since the morning.

***

It was still as cold and nasty on the roof as this morning. It's probably even colder and nastier. Ame rubbed her eyes with the back of her hand and began to look at the clouds that filled the evening sky, trying to organize her thoughts and feelings.

When she started to change her mindset about Hideki-kun, Kyoko Ame wasn't quite sure.

Maybe when Hideki didn't turn her down, she strongly suspected that it was precisely to film the rejection after a declaration of love that was the purpose of Terrikoto.

The "Fake Confessions of Anpan-kun" was a local meme of the punishment game, and there have already been two such "confessions" since the beginning of the year. And both were rejected by Anpan-kun on the spot.

He did not refuse her. And even starting to date a funny chubby was much less shameful than his rejection. Even if the first one was disturbing and required much more effort. The first girl, whom Anpan-kun rejected, was bullied about this for at least a month.

It is also possible that her opinion changed when he put his raincoat on her without hesitation in three seconds, without thinking and without hesitation, protecting her from the rain.

Or his respectful attitude, which he implicitly showed all the time they spent together.

Or the moment when she got sick and felt so bad that she felt like she was dying. And he helped her as much as he could then. And I was able to do it well.

Her attitude was influenced by the date's slightly awkward and fake atmosphere, from which, nevertheless, Kyoko got absolute pleasure.

And his sweet sister, who called her sister-in-law, was so happy that her "big and reliable" brother was no longer alone.

Therefore, the message over the Line, "Tomorrow you leave this fat pig," was timely. She wanted to end this fake relationship herself.

But only when she saw in Hideki—kun's eyes the "Expected" so clearly written was she upset to such an extent that she almost burst into tears on the spot, even though she knew she could not.

And also this idiot Terrikoto, who decided that if she once succumbed to blackmail, participated in the "punishment game," and lost, then you can now twist ropes out of her.

Tears turned to rage.

She left, and it was suitable for Terrikoto and her family that she was not detained — they would have been in trouble.

After crying on the roof, Kyoko made a plan. And immediately began to act according to him.

The plan was simple: "Find Hideki. To apologize. To confess my love. Offer to meet. Get rejected. Repeat the next day. Until he says yes to her."

***

Kazume Hideki was looking at the envelope in the shoe drawer. He looked around, went to the urn, took out a lighter, and, ignoring the looks of passers-by and the screams of a discipline committee member, set fire to the letter, made sure something burned, and threw it into the urn.

"I didn't even read it. Failure. Well, that's fine. It was a stupid idea." Kyoko, who was monitoring his reaction, suppressed a sigh.

Kyoko wasn't going to stop or despair.

"I'll try to catch him after school."

But Kyoko failed in her plans to catch Hideki—kun: if before that Hideki — kun was waiting for her to go home together, then after their breakup, after lessons, he disappeared from the classroom quickly and unnoticeably. He disappeared from her field of vision like a real ninja, and when she reached the school gate, his rather noticeable prominent figure was nowhere to be seen.

Kyoko tried to follow the main entrance from a height, unnoticed, to at least understand which way he was going from the gate, but even then, she failed: either he managed to disappear through the gate before she could reach her "observation post," or he used another exit.

Attempts to catch him before lessons were also unsuccessful. Kyoko came to the station that they reached together, after which they separated half an hour before the time they traveled with him. Once, they even managed to notice him, but he slipped away again. When she tried to find him at the station next to the school and managed to see only his back, perhaps she would have succeeded if she had tried to run after him. But Kyoko felt it was wrong.

Strangely enough, her attacks against Terikoto went unpunished… So far, unpunished…

Kyoko would have plucked up the courage to start a conversation right in class, even though she was terrified of being publicly rejected, but she was lucky.

When Hideki—kun slipped away from her after school again, and she was already seriously thinking about "catching him in class and dragging him aside to talk" in full view of everyone, two girls from the next class passed by her.

— This fatty will again occupy the most convenient desk in the library for studying, and there is no way to move it. — a tall girl in elegant glasses expressed her disappointment at the injustice of this world with all possible enthusiasm.

—Yeah,— her interlocutor, a short, slightly plump girl with two pigtails, supported her, "he appears there so quickly, right after the end of lessons, as if he were from the genus of cheetahs, not fat bears.

The bespectacled woman giggled:

— Fast, yes. Well, Youkai is with him. Let's go, maybe he's studying at my house?

After standing in a daze for several minutes, the girls left, and Kyoko rushed to the library.

Kyoko quietly slipped into the library behind some tall guy and immediately hid between the bookshelves a little away from the tables where she could study.

Hidekikun sat at the table closest to the window, with his back to the wall, in a slightly remote corner of the library.

A convenient place, Kyoko thought.

Convenient, including for her. No one was sitting next to Hideki, and no one would hear the conversation with him. The disadvantage was that you could only approach him with notice. Although there weren't many people in the library, it wasn't empty, and Kyoko had to walk through a dozen empty spaces under curious stares. But, thank Kami-sama, at least there were no classmates. Kyoko slapped her cheeks several times and resolutely walked forward.

***

For several days now, the very next day after the breakup, Hideki felt that Ame-san was pursuing him with an unknown purpose. After she waited for someone at the station and rushed towards him after his appearance, Hideki realized that it did not seem.

Hideki didn't know what Kyoko Ame wanted from him, and he didn't want to know. He might also laugh and spoil the good memories he had with her. Perhaps she wanted to return the gift. Untouched or, conversely, crumpled, mangled with a hammer or forceps. Hideki did not expect anything good from her and did not want to communicate with her. Even if the breakup was expected, he wanted to… What did he want? At least a truthful attitude. Why did she confess her love? Why did you initiate the breakup? Hideki realized that he was illogical, that perhaps it was just right to allow Kyoko to talk… But he was still hurt and scared, and fear and resentment are bad advisers, especially in love affairs. He didn't want to appear at home either; his sister would ask, "How is he doing with Ke-chan?" there was nothing to say about his parents. If he finds out, Dad will laugh mockingly; Mom won't laugh, but her pitying looks…

All that's left is to get more evening shifts from Mato-san. And get them to study. He was moderately fond of studying, but studying was given to him with little effort. But when he had just become Anpan-kun, Hideki firmly remembered: "The protruding nail is hammered in." And they score with all their strength. This handsome athlete can have the best grades or at least a twenty-four-by-seven bespectacled student. And if a funny, fat guy who pays little attention suddenly takes the first place, there will be no end of problems. Hideki learned the lesson the first time, and since then, his grades have been average or slightly above average, and he has not spent any time studying. It would have been possible to fall in with Mato-san and work with Makiwara ahead of time, but even if Mato-san said, "It was old anyway," he hadn't had time to install a new one yet. So there was only studying, and I don't care about everyone — what happens according to the results, it will work.

Hideki had just managed to distract himself from his thoughts and switch to a task on a new topic when he noticed someone moving towards him.

"Ame-san..." Hideki thought with some frustration, "and not going anywhere."

No, he could have left, of course. However, collecting and leaving textbooks unnoticed takes a lot of work.

— Hideki — san, — ignoring all written and unwritten rules of politeness, Kyoko Ame plopped down on a chair opposite him — can I talk to you for a couple of minutes?

Hideki looked around. I can't get out.

— Yes, Ame-san? — he chose a polite, detached address. Hinting that they are no longer a couple and calling him by his first name is already wrong.

Kazumi Hideki's polite treatment and detachment Ame Kyoko ignored with the last of her strength:

"Hideki—kun, please forgive me.

"What are you apologizing for, Ame—san?" You have decided that you and I are incompatible; there is nothing to apologize for. If you regret the time you spent," Hideki unwittingly revealed his main fear, "then nothing can be done about it: What happened was what happened.

— I... yes… That is, no… I don't regret it. Hideki — kun, I want to meet with you," Kyoko started to say, but Hideki did not allow her to finish the rest of the phrase "and talk."

— I refuse, — Hideki pointedly looked at his watch, — I'm sorry, but I have to go Ame-san.

Hideki quickly packed up and left, ignoring Kyoko's looks with all his might. She sat for a while longer and got up.

"I haven't finished, and I haven't given up, " she muttered as she left the library. I'm going to repeat and catch Hideki in the library tomorrow.

***

The next day, Hideki still firmly refused to talk. However, he did not leave this time. Kyoko then laid out her textbooks and also sat down to study. Hideki sat until the library closed and left, trying not to notice Kyoko following him.

The day after, he refused to meet again, and they also sat and studied. Close, but not together.

The next day, Hideki was away from the library. She waited half an hour in a place not visible from the library entrance, but Hideki did not appear.

Kyoko sighed, still full of confidence that she would succeed.

"You can run away, Hideki-kun. You can hide. But I'll find you anyway.

But this oath uttered in the corridor in front of the library was never heard by anyone except herself.