Chapter 8

Shawna

I couldn't sleep.

How could I when I spent the entire night thinking about Max Stone.

So, I did the next best thing.

Well, the next best illegal thing.

I came to the studio to practice my routine once more and am pleasantly surprised with the ease at which I have it down now. Normally it takes me a few weeks to completely master each step enough to then teach it to someone else, especially those someone's being children, but anger and hurt kept me motivated this time.

It's been a few days since I saw Max at Sin, and each time I think about the way he looked at me, the words he spouted off, I want to cry and kill him all in one breath. I understand his hatred towards me, he thinks I cheated on him, and I have only led him to believe those words I shouted in the heat of things were the truth.

I take a moment to catch my breath as my routine ends and walk over to grab a bottle of water from my bag. My iPhone changes to the next song and I nearly fall over when One Republic's Come Home surrounds the speakers on the walls.

I take seat in the small blue chair as I let the words Ryan Tedder sings consume me. This is the song I used to listen to when Max was away and as sad as it is, it always managed to make me feel whole. I had support groups I went to, there were even apps that could help you with the feeling of not knowing if they are coming back home to you.

I had the support of everyone in the club, Austin, and their mother, but I never did tell Max about my fears. I never told him how much I hated him being gone, how worried I was for him each and every moment. How I would watch the news only to have a panic attack when I saw the news of soldiers being killed.

I remember when the phone would ring and I would be too afraid to answer it if it was a number I didn't recognize it. Once, I let it go to voicemail and beat myself up for being so weak I couldn't answer it. Julia used to tell me that fear is one of the greatest pains in the world and sometimes we let it consume us.

I was worried I was doing that now.

Was it fear driving me from not telling Austin about the mystery guy? Was it fear that was stopping me from telling Max the truth about that night?

I shake my head when the song turns to Nsync- don't judge- and head down to say goodbye to Miss O'Neal.

She didn't come up once while I was practicing, which is not her normal M.O. but I'm, sure she was just tired. I know her leg has been bothering her lately and although I have been begging her to go see a doctor for it, she just waves me off.

I smile thinking of our last conversation about her injury.

"Miss O'Neal, it could be a broken bone in your leg or something."

"Sweetheart please, I have a case of getting old, that's about it."

I reach the stairs and call out for Miss O'Neal. She lives just above the studio and never goes anywhere so I know she is most likely home. I run up the stairs, ignoring the pain in my ankle from practicing my routine, and knock on the door.

After a few more minutes and about a hundred more knocks, I decide she must be out. Miss O'Neal has no family and since her husband died twenty years ago, has no one she lives with. But once in a while she will walk down to get groceries or play her numbers for the lotto.

I head down to get my car and stop in my tracks at the sight in front of me. My car's tires are slashed and the windshield is cracked. I throw my bag down with force at my luck. Just as I was getting caught up with money for my payments, something like this happens.

I walk up closer to inspect it, already hating that I will have to get it towed and stop when I see a small flapping piece of paper stuck between the windshield wipers. My body immediately tenses up as I survey my surroundings. I seem to be the only one on the street but it's still early in the morning. Not even eight yet.

I shake my head at myself for being so silly and walk up to it. It could be someone just telling me that they saw the person who did this or something. That happens right?

I pull the note out slowly, as if it could detonate in my hands, and inspect it. My hands tremble as I read the small scrap of paper with a manly style of writing.

-He won't be able to save you once I have my hands on you-

I place the paper in my jacket and look around once more. I still see no one but suddenly I no longer feel safe. For the last two weeks I have done all I can to ignore that man that came into the diner and threatened me, but now? Now this seems like too much to me.

I take my phone out of my jacket, place the note flat on my car and take a photo of it, then, my tires and windshield. I send the entire thing to Austin and wait for his call. It's early and I'm not sure if he is already awake.

A few seconds later I feel the vibration coming from my phone and see that it's Austin calling. I answer it immediately.

"Austin?" I can't help the shake in my voice. This is getting scary.

"Where are you?"

"Outside my old studio. I don't understand what's happening but I'm scared."

"I'm on my way, stay on the phone with me." I hear him whisper a few things and assume he is with his girlfriend Candice.

"Austin, who the hell could have done this?"

"Don't know darlin' but I intend to find out."

I nod my head even though he can't see me and wait out his arrival.

Ten minutes later Austin pulls up in a large black SUV. I can see Candice in the passenger seat and wave to her when she gives me a smile. Austin tells her something then comes over to speak with me.

"This it?" He asks indicating with his chin at my car.

"Yes."

Austin walks around the car doing an inspection. He leans down low and looks at the front driver's side tire. Standing up, he veers into the car past the windshield. He must not see anything out of the ordinary because a second later he is by my side and asking to see the note. I slip it out of my jacket, then pass it to him.

"This was the only thing on the car?"

"Yes, unless something flew off."

"Doubt it. Whoever left this wanted you to see it. They wouldn't be sloppy enough to leave something else that could have blown away." Austin looks around the area surrounding us then back over to me. "Want you to stay at the clubhouse until we can figure this out."

"What! Hell no."

He smirks then looks down to me. "Not use to women being so damn stubborn. Not till I met Candice."

"Hey, I heard that." She says exiting the car.

"Told you to stay inside the car babe."

"Obviously the coast is clear or you wouldn't be standing out here with Shawna."

I smile at the way she speaks to him. Austin is a big guy, tall, dark hair lots of tattoos and all muscles. His dark hair and dark eyes make him intimidating and hot at the same time. It's nice to see someone speak to him this way. I was the only woman around the men back when Max and I dated that didn't take their shit. Abby was often there with me, but the moment Chance would sweep around, she was gone.

"Tryin' to get Shawna to come back to the compound."

"Sounded like you were telling her and not asking her." I smirk when she reaches us and extends her hand out to me. "I'm Candy, it's nice to meet you Shawna."

Candice is beautiful. She is tall, at least five ten and has all the right curves. Her deep red head enhances her face and if I look close enough I can see small hints of freckles on her nose and cheeks.

"Nice to meet you too. Nice to see someone putting this one in his place." I smile when Austin looks between us hen shakes his head.

"Much as I love to sit here and shoot the shit with you, we need to go and I want you at the compound."

"And I told you no Austin. You know why I can't do that."

"Pride ain't worth safety Shawna."

"He's right Shawna. I know it's not going to be appealing but I'm sure the guys can figure something out as far as Max is concerned. Trust me, when it comes to this stuff, it's best not to rock the boat." I smile at her phrase, she sounds a lot like Miss O'Neal.

"Won't let him give you shit Shawna, but I need to figure this out. You brought this to me for a reason, and I intend on seeing it through."

I stare at Austin and Candice. I know he means well and it makes me feel special that he wants to make sure I am safe, but I'm keeping something from him, from Max, from them all, and being this close to Max, may not go over well.

"Okay." I agree then immediately wonder if I have made the right decision.

Pulling up to the compound, a sense of dwelling covers me.

I haven't been here since the day I told Austin about needing a job. I look past Austin and Candice and cringe when I see all the bikes lined up. I don't see Max's bike and I blow out a breath of air. I hate how much seeing him worries me.

I still don't understand why I couldn't stay at home. Austin said that whoever this clown is that is clearly meaning to scare me, most likely knows where I live since he came to a place I only go to randomly. When Austin came to me I knew he had questions. The leader of an MC doesn't just not have questions as to why his baby brothers ex-girlfriend is practicing at a now closed studio. I'm surprised he didn't ask but am relieved either way.

"You two stay here, gonna call church in. Candy, make sure all the old ladies stay out here, and if you see Abby, tell her I want to talk with her when church is done." Candice nods her head and kisses Austin when he leans into her.

I envy their commitment and love to each other. It's not exactly easy to not think of Max and all we have been through and how it is now washed down the drain, but not constantly being around a couple makes it more bearable. Seeing Candice and Austin's love for each other is choking me up, more than I wish to show.

I move towards the bar area and take in the club that I could walk around with a blindfold on and know my way around. I've missed all of this.

I have always loved what the club stood for. Having no family of my own, except for Miss O'Neal, has always made me an outcast. It was nice to come to a place where an outcast makes you a member, regardless of the patch. The Nightmare Warriors have always welcomed me with open arms.

Candice finds me a few moments later sitting at the bar. All the members have gone in the room to start church so I had to make my own drink. Good thing I know my way around a bar.

"You doing okay?" Candice says sitting down beside me.

"Is that a trick question?" I say with an eyebrow raise.

"You can vent to me you know? I don't mind. I'm a half decent listener." I smile at her. She really is beautiful.

"It's hard being back here you know?" I shrug.

"I can understand that." Candice takes one of the bottles of vodka and makes her a drink as well. I listen as all the brothers make their way to church. Austin must have sent the text out. "If you don't mind me asking, what exactly happened between you two? Max doesn't talk about what happened, only that you two are done."

"We just decided it was best not to be together."

"Hmm, would you like to come to my birthday party?" I look up to her in shock.

I never had girlfriends. Something I always wanted but could never get. Girls didn't always like me growing up. I was the foster kid in school and never had a close relationship with any of the foster kids growing up. I was more focused on studies by the time high school hit so friendships still never appealed to me.

"Seriously?"

"Yeah, why not? I would love it if you went."

"Wait, is Max going to be there?"

"Don't think so. I think he tried sparring my feelings by saying he may drop by but he hasn't been himself these last few months. I think after everything happened around here, it shook him up bad." I nod my head remembering everything Inette told me. They had a pretty insane few months.

"I would love to come Candice, but I'm going to be honest with you. If I see Max there, I won't stay."

"I understand, and if you want, you can bring someone with you. The more the merrier." I smile at her knowing I will definitely bring Inette, she would love to be around a bunch of sexy bikers.

A sudden shift changes in the room and I turn to see Max walking into the room. He immediately catches my eye and gives me a dirty look. I turn around making sure to flip him the bird before he leaves and only put my hand down once I know he has left the room.

"Oh boy. Maybe you being here wasn't the best idea." I laugh at Candice and lean over to grab the bottle of vodka.