Twenty-five

The next couple days go by well as I get to finally see each wolf in human form. They were all big and strong, good looking, but none scared me as much as they would have if I hadn't played around with them in wolf form.

Felix and Luca were definitely twins: shaggy blonde hair that needed trimming, green eyes that shown with mischief, and tan skin from being out in the sun. Jimmy was a bit darker than the other two and had a darker brown color hair, with brown eyes and a soft smile. Richard was the most blusterous of them but seemed the most sensitive. He was silver haired and had the same silver eyes, but he was probably the strongest of them all. Derric had been the most playful as a human, with bright blue eyes and dark brown hair that went to their shoulders. Sawyer was the quiet one and had seemed the most mature of the brothers. He had black hair and very intense green eyes, but was very polite. Kenyon almost looked like Derric but the hair was lighter and his eyes were a deep violet.

Besides Ralphie, there were three other cubs that were introduced as Bruno, Ace and Rollo. Ace was a cute brown puppy with a black ear, Bruno was a white pup with a silver underbelly and Rollo was black with a white underbelly. Loki explained that Rollo was named for how much he liked to eat and Bruno was named for his ability to shove Rollo out of the way not long after they were born.

Cinder was a beautiful woman and very graceful, much like June in some ways. But Cinder was blonde with waves that shone in the sunlight. Her skin was tanned and she had striking orange eyes which won her, her own name. Graham, after some observance, was hard but gentle. He always held Cinder in his arms as if she were breakable. He played with the pups gently and let them climb all over him, nip at his ears and tail, and nuzzled them when they went to sleep. However, with the older boys, Graham held his strength back just a tiny bit. I could tell. But, he never broke any of his sons' bones or killed them by accident. He was comforting when he was needed and strong when protective and demanding.

Loki's father also seemed to be careful with me too. I tried to seem strong and less of the fearful woman I had been when I arrived, but he never changed. He spoke softly to me, offered me things from food and clothing to a walk in the forest away from his rambunctious sons. As awkward as they felt to me, I was glad to get away from the chaos. But soon, those walks became filled with small talk and him giving me rides.

There were times when I didn't feel like playing with the older males, so I went in the den and helped Cinder with the pups. She was in wolf form, of course, but if I spoke, I knew she was listening. The rare times the pups took naps, she went and made herself human, then made conversation with me. She was a very intelligent woman and I felt like the calm presence in the middle of the chaos. Once, on the third day of my stay, she offered to spar with me. I smiled and nodded.

We went outside of the den where the males were playing around and Cinder went up to her husband. "I'll be near. In that clearing not far from here."

He growled and Cinder laughed.

"This is girl time. I don't get girl time that often. If something is wrong, I will howl."

Graham seemed reluctant, but nodded. He looked at me then, and he seemed to be asking with his eyes for me to look after her. When Cinder started leading the way, I nodded to him, a request I would happily take since he let me near his family.

We entered a clearing not that far from the den and Cinder smiled at me. "I must admit that I haven't fought in a while. Females are usually with pups. Only when the pups are grown do we fight with the men."

"Why?"

She tilts her head. "Females, as they are the ones who provide the milk and give birth, must be protected so they can keep the pups alive until they're ready to hunt. We are the last line of defense when pups are involved. Males, as being the largest and strongest, are the first line. We protect the young as they are the ones who will keep the pack going when we are gone."

I nod, then ask another question that's been on my mind. "Why are there no other females?"

Cinder sighed. "As sad as it is to say, I have not had the pleasure to give birth to any little girls. Graham wanted a girl too, just because he likes the idea of having another female to protect and also another defense for the pups, but alas...after so many boys, we are not sure if girls are yet possible."

"When will the pups turn human?"

She smiles. "Soon. They learn to be wolf first as it is the hardest form to understand, but in a few days, they will turn human and begin living and learning that way."

I nod, but felt a kind of protection towards the pups because in my opinion, being human was harder than being wolf. I didn't want them to know the different hardships of what humans go through.

"They will be fine, Zahra. As being part wolf, the pups will be less prone to things humans are. They will just need to learn to use those senses."

"You don't think human is harder than wolf?"

She shrugs. "I think both are hard in their own way. But try to imagine being a wolf. You walk on four legs, your senses are on high alert every moment of every day, you're only half asleep when your eyes are closed, you must filter the scents that come to you and understand everything about it, not to mention, there's no color."

"Do you have color now?"

"Yes. So will the pups when they are human, but as a wolf, there is none."

I realize some of these questions might be sensitive to their race and say, "Sorry if that was personal. I'm just curious and observant."

She laughs. "Don't be sorry, Zahra. You can ask me whatever you wish if it makes you understand us and feel more comfortable." Sighing, Cinder says, "Ready?"

I nod and let her go into wolf form before watching her movements and preparing for her attack.

Only, neither of us were prepared for the attack that hit me from the side and made me slide into a tree, head first. I wince and see a large black wolf with red eyes, staring straight at me. Cinder growled, but I lock eyes with her, silently telling her to stay back. She whined at me, but I looked back at the intruder. "I don't know you nor do I care to. So, please leave or I will be forced to fight you."

The wolf huffed, but stalked closer. I got to my feet and pulled out my knife. Cinder didn't listen and leaped onto the wolf's back to sing her teeth into his neck. Easily, as if she were a newborn, he threw her off. She yelped as she hit the ground, and I noticed one of her legs were twisted.

My thoughts racing, I tried to think of what to do, how to get to Cinder. Then I cupped my mouth, tilted my head back, and howled as loud as I could. Hopefully, Loki would know it was me or maybe one of his brothers. The wolf growled at me and began to run. I held out my knife and prepared for the impact.

It hurt like hell, but he yelped and I felt blood drip onto my hand that was holding the knife, the knife in his belly. I stared into his shocked wide eyes that went from red to amber slowly. Then, the wolf shifted into a male, as naked as the day he was born, and dropped to his knees. I pulled the knife out and stared in open horror as he glanced down to the wound and back up to me. He said, "Thank you," before falling sideways.

I drop the knife and crumple beside him, using my shirt to stop the bleeding. "No!" I cry. "Please, don't die! Not again! Please, wake up!"

I heard Loki's family coming, but didn't care as I used both hands to put pressure on his wound.

"Wake up! I'm sorry!" I cry, tears streaming down my face.

"Zahra, what happened?" Graham asked softly, kneeling beside me.

I looked at him with pleading eyes. "He attacked me! Cinder tried to help, but he threw her off. Then he attacked again and my knife went in him. His eyes! His eyes turned and he became human!"

"Let me take care of this," he says and tries to move my hands but I shake my head, then lean over the man as if to shield him. "Zahra, I'm not going to let him die. I need to see the wound so I can figure out how to help."

"I didn't mean to!" I cry as someone pulls me back. "I just wanted to protect her! I didn't mean to hurt him!"

Graham uses his own hands to stop the bleed and looked at me. "You need to go calm down. I will talk to you when I return to the den."

"Please!" I beg. "Please, don't kill him! Please, it's my fault!"

"Sawyer, get her out of here," Graham orders.

"Let go of me!" I start struggling but Sawyer is stronger. "Let go of me, please!"

"Just calm down and let me talk to you," he hisses.

"No! This is my fault! Don't let your father do anything to that man!"

"Zahra, he's not going to. If you would calm down, I would explain."

"It's my fault!" I cry.

"Shit!" I hear and I'm free. I look down at my hands and see they're on fire. Turning, I see Sawyer in pain.

I run, forgetting about the man. I run into the forest to get myself away from hurting anyone else. I don't stop. I can't. First Cinder. Then the man who somehow was innocent. Then Sawyer. I can't hurt anyone else.

I trip over something and crash to the ground, then curl up and shake violently as I relive my nightmares of every face that is now dead because of me. I hadn't had the nightmares since being in the den, but now...now I can't stop seeing them. They're everywhere.

Eventually, someone lifts me up and begins to carry me. I whimper but accept that whatever happens next would be fair. Whatever happens, I would not let them keep me for long, even if it means dying.

Soon, too soon, I'm set down and a pair of large hands cups my face. "Zahra, I want you to eat something," Graham says. I shake my head, feeling sick. "I promised Loki I wouldn't use my alpha voice on you, so please do as I say?"

I don't say anything or move. "Zahra, what happened today was not your fault."

I look over to see Loki. "It was. They all were. All those men and women. All the children. Every single one of hem were my fault."

"No one died today," Graham said, obviously confused at my statement. "The man is fine."

I don't believe him and shake my head. Loki grabs my shoulders and shakes me a little. "Zahra, you were just protecting my mother! What you did was protecting her. No one could have known that he was possessed by something!"

I look up at him, his words catching my attention. "What?"

Graham explained. "His eyes. You said they turned?" I nodded. "There's a darkness that lives within our race. It's very common to hear but rare to see. What you did was save a wolf from an evil. He was grateful for your strength as well as for your kindness. Cinder is grateful for your courage even though a wolf is much stronger, and the rest of us are grateful for your presence today because if Cinder had died, he'd have come for us, and if we had died, the pups would have had no protection and that's something the evil inside the wolf wanted. He wanted the pups, knew Cinder's scent had been mixed with a younger wolf's. You did everyone a great deed today."

I swallowed my tears, now relaxing just a little. "What about Sawyer?"

Loki shrugged. "He'll be fine!"

Graham scowled at Loki but looked at me with sympathy. "Sawyer knew about your powers, knew there was a possibility of getting hurt if he scared you in any way. He just didn't realize you'd use them when you were panicking."

"I'm sorry," I croaked.

"Sawyer is fine, healing, but fine. He's alive and is watching the cubs and Cinder." Graham took my hands in his own and warmed them up quickly. "It's a small price for what you have done today. Now, you need to calm down. Everyone is alright."

"But the man...I hurt him!"

Graham shook his head. "You saved his life, Zahra. Whatever you did, whatever other powers you have, saved him."

"All I did was stab him."

"Whatever the case, you can see him tomorrow. Right now, he is sleeping so his wound can heal and he can hopefully go back to his own pack."

I nod, almost relaxed. But I needed my brother. I needed Roan to be here so that I could hear it from him, so that I could see in his eyes that I was still a good person. Graham handed me a bowl of food and I ate slowly. Seeming satisfied with this, he left. Loki sat in front of me and watched me eat. When I finish, I say, "I need to go home."

His eyes sadden. "Zahra, just because of what happened today doesn't mean it'll happen again."

I shake my head. "It's not that. I just really need my brother right now. I need his assurance."

"Is he not coming tonight?"

"No. Aspen is, but I want my brother."

"Will you give me two hours?" he asks and I narrow my eyes. He hurriedly explains, "I can run over to the village and find him, then bring him back. It'll be faster than in human form and with someone else and I suspect you want him sooner than later."

"You would do that?"

He rubs the back of his neck. "Well, you did kind of save my family, so..."

I hug him and cry into his shirt. "You're the best!"

Loki chuckles, his arms around me in a light embrace. "It's not like you're asking me to run all the way to the big water."

"No, but you know how much this means to me." I pull away and look into his eyes. "You know how much I need Roan."

"That I do," he says softly. "So, you can choose to be in here for the time I'm gone or be with my family."

I noticed now we were in my room and choose to go out with his family. He leads me out and explains to his father that he is going somewhere and would be back soon. His father doesn't ask questions, but I assume he's wondering what it is Loki had to do right after his family was attacked.

Loki left with a whispered, "Be back soon," to me. I walked over to where Sawyer was babysitting the pups and sat beside him. He looked up at me with a kind of calculating look.

I smiled weakly at him. "I'm sorry for hurting you."

His ears flicked forward and then he stuck out his tongue. I couldn't understand how he was feeling so I looked away and watched the pups.

"You do know Sawyer doesn't blame you?"

I look up behind me and see Jimmy. I shrugged. "It's fine if he does."

"If he thought you weren't to be trusted, he wouldn't be letting you near the pups. None of us would."

I look at Sawyer and noticed he was watching me, his eyes a little sad. "I may not hurt the pups, but I can hurt a lot of other people."

Sawyer's ears went down, and I faintly heard a growl from him. Jimmy said, "All we saw and heard was you protecting people. Sawyer saw how you reacted to hurting someone, even if the man wasn't innocent. He saw you try to protect him. He's not the only one who thinks you're a very protective wolf."

I blink and snap my eyes to Jimmy. "I'm not a wolf."

He smiles. "But you protect and fight like a wolf."

I feel a head in my lap and look to see Sawyer staring up at me, his tail wagging. Smiling, I rub his head. "You're too kind."

Sawyer gave a huff and it made me laugh. Then, the pups wanted attention, so we indulged them.