Forty-three

It took an hour before June exclaimed, "It's a baby boy!"

I began to cry with happiness. Blinking through the blur of tears, I saw Roan holding a tiny bundle, rocking it gently while wiping away the blood. I was ready to ask for my child when another contraction racked my body. "June!"

"She has another one!"

Someone cursed. I began to push. I didn't know how I felt about having two babies, but I wouldn't complain. They were mine. Lucas would be kept away from them. He wouldn't use them. Ever.

Finally, a baby girl was born, lying in Aspen's arms. June cleaned me up, covered my lower half, then let Roan step towards me with his bundle. "He has your eyes," my brother whispered, setting the tiny boy on my chest. He was asleep, but seemed to recognize who I was because he curled into me, hand grasping at me.

"How about we put them down and you can rest for a bit," Aspen suggested.

I nod, watching as he walked out with the other baby. Roan took the boy and left too. After a tense moment of wondering where they had taken my babies, reassuring myself they were safe, and curling up, I fell asleep.

When I woke some time later, it was to the wonderful sense of being able to walk and breathe without the added bodies. Did I resent my newborn children? No. I loved them no matter who their blood father was. But I didn't feel ready to care for two extra lives when I am barely managing to live myself. I am still learning what I need from Roan and Juniper. I am still figuring out what it means to like Aspen. I am also figuring out what it means to have a family who doesn't abandon me.

I stand and stretch, a little sore from the birthing the day before, but able to what I want. I walk out of my home and towards Yarrow, where food was being served. The old woman smiled at me, having the eyes of a loving mother, if I had to imagine what that was. "Zahra, nice to see you being active and happy."

I smiled at her. "Thank you, Yarrow. It's nice to be happy." I take the bowl of food she holds out then ask, "Do you know where Roan or Aspen is?"

"Your brother is with Sorrel and Raven. I believe they are talking strategy about future attacks. Aspen I haven't seen." She leans close and whispers, "If you're wanting some alone time with the boy, better do it before Roan sees."

I raise a brow. "Why is that?"

"He's very protective over his family, Zahra! He won't let you go easily!"

I laugh and give her a hug, then make my way towards Aspen's home and knock. A moment later, he opens the door, holding a small bundle in his arms. He smiles at me. "How are you feeling?" he asks softly.

I gently take the bundle and smile. "Sore, but better than I have in a while." The baby opens its eyes to reveal green orbs. It makes gurgling noises and yawns. It closes its eyes soon after and falls asleep. I continue to smile as I walk over to Aspen's bed and sit. "Thank you for taking care of them."

He sits beside me after shutting the door. "Of course. June and Cat helped feed them so you could rest. This village helps each other. It's what we do."

He takes the baby and lays it down in a small bed with the other. "Which one is the girl?"

"The one you held was the girl," he whispered. "Do you have names?"

"Inara for her, and Jed for the boy."

Aspen tilts his head to one side, leaning against the wall of his home. "Why those?"

I shrug. "I don't know. It's a feeling. It feels right to name them those."

Aspen nods then holds his hand out. I take it and he leads me out of the house so the babies can sleep. Outside, he pulls me towards a fire and sits. I sit beside him and lean my head against his shoulder. Content.

"There you are!"

I look over to see Cat running towards me. "What is it?"

She grins. "I have told everyone here that today is for celebration and happiness! No worrying and planning and crying! We're going to have fun!" She frowns and scowls towards a cluster of houses. "Of course Roan doesn't listen!"

I laugh and snuggle into Aspen. "Roan is careful, I've learned."

Cat nodded. "Yes, he is." Another moment of silence before she turns to me again. "Now, you're with me!"

I blink and stare at her as she hails me to my feet. "What?"

She looks behind me and says to Aspen, "Sorry, but for the next few hours, she's getting pampered!"

Aspen chuckles and says, "I couldn't stop you if I tried!"

I glare at him over my shoulder, then get dragged away.

Cat, June, Yarrow, and a few other women are spread out beside a lake, sunbathing and talking. I am beside June, but feel awkward, so I don't say much. However, Cat doesn't seem to notice my discomfort because she continues to bring me into conversation. After answering many questions, June leans to me ear and whispers, "Just be glad she doesn't ask you about Aspen. She can get quite demanding about wanting details."

I groan and stand, deciding to swim. I leave on my clothes and slide into the water, shivering at the cold. Then, push off from the shore and go under. I was not avoiding Cat.

Okay, I am but only because I didn't know the others and didn't like being the center of attention. It felt like I would be judged. It felt as if they would make fun of me. Stupid, but true.

When I come up for air, I wipe water from my face and look around. The women were still talking, June was watching me with a knowing smile, but behind them, there was a presence. It made my throat close up and my body shake. I also felt a pull that was familiar. I started to panic.

"June!" I squealed, hardly able to talk with the fear rising.

She became alert and stood. Looking around, she spins in a circle, but obviously doesn't find anything. So, she jumps in and swims to me. "Zahra, where do you see him?"

I try to lift my arm and point, but my body refuses to listen. So I look at her and open my mouth. "Behind all of you."

No sound came out, but she seems to understand because she turns to look that way.

Suddenly, ice is thrown, just missing Cat, and slams into a tree. The pull disappears and I can breathe. I gasp, clutching June by the shoulders. She stays turned away, watching for any signs, but there's nothing. Turning to me, she looks me over. "Are you okay? Do you want me to get Roan?"

I swallow the knot in my throat and shake my head. "I'm fine, I just need to calm down."

"That's fine. Take as much time as you need," she whispers. "You did very well. You're doing very well. You've grown stronger."

I smile shakily and hug her. I was safe. I was going to be fine. I was not going to let anyone control me again, no matter what!