Chapter Twenty-five: Nihirizumu-1

You know watching a different world sunset is kinda nice, just if you ignore the corpses around the area. Sighing I took my a cup of Dragnil Magma Whiskey from my inventory and took a sip of the drink. The sight of the sky being painted gold, purple, pink, red, and orange making a rather beautiful sight. Shaking my glass a bit I honestly think over what all exactly has been happening. That I opted to speak my thoughts as loud to get a better grasp on events.

"The death game was cleared by Shin and then I ended up inside the game world six hundred years later. The world has greatly changed and became both interesting and highly lethal. A lot of stuff was lost because of the Dusk of Majesty so the races are not wholy ready for the true monsters of the game. As I know for certain the Sins are walking about, and the seasonal event bosses probably also appear. Some friendly but some down right hostile like Krampus compared to Saint Nicholas.

Since I've been here I've killed two thousand races from Humanity, eight hundred demons, and a little over three million monsters. I've fucked my stalker that spreads plagues, and had kids with her. Seems pretty normal to me. I've become a Void Boss so I can't really leave this world even if I wanted to. The World Origin has been helping at times it seems given the weird system prompts and random messages. I've adopted a a Beast Tiger cub to protect her by sticking her in the midst of a dangerous pack.

I've fought a Guardian to a stand still while being ninety-eight percent dead at the time. Probably would've died for real if I took more damage. I've retaken a Player City, fuck sharing anything dangerous inside of it. I mean its got some of my Extinction Gear inside of its more heavily guarded vaults. So no, no one but me can touch that stuff otherwise the End Gates materialize and open.

I brought some shades of my past back to life essentially through a skill. I hope none of the Amazon Squad appears on that damned list. Fucking sociopathic rapist slaver women are not what I need to deal with. I've dealt with them enough by gutting and dismembering each and everyone of them personally. So really don't need to deal with any of them, again.

I have possibly mentally and emotionally scared children and the entire Balmel Adventurer Guild. Honestly that's a win to me. I've kidnapped a willing undead and let him torture an old friend. Perfectly reasonable to do, kidnap, release, watch mayhem, perfectly reasonable. Just surprising that said undead would start teaching children about France, completely wrong world Gustavo.

Made a religion on accident. I think that's a rather fair summary of how fucking weird this all has been."

"That is the longest I have ever heard you talk Kaiser, you usually just stare off into space thinking. Also yo, my fine boney scaled ass is alive~ how you been?"

Turning around at the rather nostalgic voice I grinned seeing a rather familiar face. Nihirizumu. The GD in charge of basically the lore of most of the worlds history. He stands on top of a corpse digging his boney talon claws into its flesh as the mummified skin exposed on his feet crinkles. His usual Farmer War Monk attire covering his undead body. Which it still looks great on him after all this time.

The emerald green monastery robes with obsidian colored plants and dragons woven into it. A glaive known as Beaty hanging from his waist sash with its old plant engravings covering it. Blood coating the weapon had turned its once beautiful silvery blue color pitch black with crimson blood highlighting the engravings. Since Beaty had become a Demonic Weapon given how much blood was spilt with murderous intentions when used. Sitting on top of his boney High Dragnil Dracolich head lazily is his old indestructible straw sun hat.

His dry and flaky scales still attached to his mummified skin and bones shining a pale amethyst color. Those green flames taking place of his eyes shine playfully in his eye sockets while looking at me. What is new however is the chest holster over his robes, that held a gun I put on his character before it was locked. Momento of Service, a high Ancient grade Colt Army relvover with flower engravings around the words "Departed Developer" that I actually hand crafted and not cheated on making.

Last I ever saw this wonderful man and those weapons was when we encased his avatar in Etherium Amber. Which was in a public Mosuleum for any Player or staff that died before the death game, as we didn't think it was good to just forget them. So every Devolper and some professional architecture Player's created Departed Player's Mosuleum. If someone died then us devs would personally create an item before encasing the avatar's in the Mosuleum. That was one of the main things that actually set us apart from a lot of full dive games.

We always remembered the dead and gave those left behind the chance to visit what little remained of them. Shaking my head I whistled at Nihirizumu with a chuckle.

"Yo, I see your somehow alive and well Nihirizumu. How exactly though? Because you died before the death game and your avatar was well in the mosuleum."

"Kekeke I couldn't leave you guys alone, so while everyone else took being reborn I stuck around. So while I didn't see everything because my soul was still around when the game ended. I was one of the first souls pulled over to here, so I've been around for six hundred years. Who do you think started the Watchmen of Dusk? If not me a lot of people would be dead or lost. Just before you ask I made the group because I knew how much it'd be needed and I couldn't let your gift rot. Sneaky Kaiser very sneaky making my entombed item a third class unlocking item for your primary job."

"Would you believe me if I said I did that because, I wanted you to know you basically were apart of my family? Even if we never saw each other again?"

"No I wouldn't believe thats the whole truth Kaiser. I know you you made it perfectly visible with Analyze to taunt everyone. Yet not even our fellow devs could get it out of my memorial! Only reason I'm even walking about is because Origin had given me the chance. However, I'm no longer a Dev just a normal Player."

We stared at each other for a long while before cackling together and doing a special little hand shake. It's quite good to see my old friend once more. It is. Looking around it's slowly gotten dark however I didn't expect what my old friend did. He reached out, grabbed my shadow, and gave her a boney tongue lick. She didn't complain or anything she just looked at him and well peed on him.

"I think she likes you?"

"Why is that a question?"

"Because I don't know if that's on purpose or not?"

".... I forgot your horrible with understanding children. Even your own it seems."

"Not my fault, one hundred percent not my fault. I am innocent on all charges yet to be brought forth."

"How many have you punched, drop kicked, kicked, headbutted, shot, smashed, body slammed, thrown, and or bombed through a wall since I've been dead?"

"..... Oh look a cloud."

"Kaiser…."

"..... Four hundred eighty-nine?"

Nihirizumu sighs heavily his flames giving me a "are you serious?" Look that I find highly offensive. Yet he's giving me a boney smile as if its the most hilarious thing. Which to be fair he was there for "The Great Orphanage Cake Battle" where I gladly punted a Dwarf called Little Timmy through a wall for cake. He didn't hate I did that to a kid, he laughed his ass off before bitch slapping Little Claire through the ceiling.

We're fucked up to have enjoyed that but the kids were protected by the system unless a quest had specifics. Then you could murder a NPC child freely. Player's under the age of sixteen though? They were free game to kill though. They're Player's death is but a part of the game so they weren't spared.

If you're Player your not innocent, regardless of your age you became a Player which means your ready to kill. So no prisoners or survivors, you die like all the reset regardless if you were say six years old, you still were eligible to die. But fuck explaining that to everyone was just so damn weirdly taxing because they didn't seem to understand.

"You're a Player, dying is apart of the game no matter your age. Why do you not understand this? Do you think just because your kid or sibling is playing that we're magically going to protect them?"

One lady straight up thought it was my divine fucking duty to protect the kids playing. So I looked at her and very professionally started farting with my armpit whenever she spoke. It was childish but worth it because she was fighting a losing battle with me. If it eas some other dev it may of worked, but they specifically wanted the dev in charge of combat. My coworkers were watching that press conference and both laughed yet cried at how I acted.

Lost some Player's from that but a lot of them found it funny and didn't really mind their children or siblings dying in game. Just that one Player called SirFarts made a remix video of the argument and arm farts. I believe the title was "Karen gets clowned on by War Developer, Praise the demon who beats our asses randomly! \(°^°)/ z(°^°)z" honestly the video was hilarious with how they edited it. Certainly was loved by the staff because they knew I was an ass but seeing that was just to funny for them.

The board of directors tried to fire me for that yet uh…. Player's who heard the news because of Nihirizumu. Sorta stormed the office by a lot of various measures around security, one literally crawled in through the window, sixty thousand feet off the ground. Then there was the in game protest from the Player's and surprisingly some NPC's that had a bit more free reign on their AI. It was a bit heartwarming to see the support even the rude ass message sorta shared between both groups was good.

"You can not fire that developer! He's an asshole, a fucking prick who kills us randomly on a daily basis, trolls us with things, and can be a major fucking cunt. But he's the developer who walks among us mortals pretty damn freely, he even shares tips with us, even if the tip is sometimes fuck you, that you trying to fire such a glorious fuckin asshole that we both hate and love is not acceptable. He clowned on a Karen it's not that big of a deal."

That was basically their whole shared logic about why I shouldn't get fired. Sorta worked when even a few Japan officials said "Not happening, he's infuriating but treats everyone the same." Can't fight that argument, even though they play with their children or grand children and I knew their jobs. I would still randomly show up and kill them all along with others. But I always left hot chocolate as compensation, everyone likes hot coco.

"Kaiser, hey Kaiser your spacing out. What cha thinking about?"

"Oh the incident where I was almost fired."

"The one where Christi stripped down in the office and attempted to go strangle the board directors?"

"That one, still weird though that she glt angry she strips, happy she strips, perverted she strips, sad she strips, bored she strips, I mean I could be working and next I know random fucking clothes fly over the wall into my office."

"She was interesting like that. But your not innocent there Dan had his bachelor's party remember and you decided to troll him. Never thought I'd see a man have a fear boner while you gave him a lap dance with a water gun to his head. You made the stripper's and everyone else laugh though."

"It may of been a water pistol but I know how to kill with one so Dan had the right to fear me. Plus I'm bisexual, I wasn't going to pass up the chance to troll someone by pulling a male stripper gag. I'm a soldier but I like to troll people, special forces team Wendigo liked to troll kill people. Because it takes a creative mind to hang a man by the balls then have a wooden spike trap trigger if they scream loud enough."

We both sorta just cackle at that bit because I've told Nihirizumu about my old teams creative torture or kill tactics. Cupcake had by now been stuffed into my shirt behind my armor and had her head sticking out under my chin. We both talked quite a bit together while walking around Balmel with strange looks directed at us. Yet we just rolled with it pretty much naturally, just when a Cleric tried to cleanse Nihirizumu. They learnt why he was a Farmer War Monk.

Don't piss of the man who farms things, doubly so if he's a damn War Monk. Plants know martial arts because of them. Fucking potatoes should not be able to do half the shit I've witnessed.

On a different note Fenris remembered Nihirizumu and well their meeting was hilarious to me.

"Yo, you must be the weirdo who fucked Kaiser."

"And your the deranged farmer who shoved sword sized carrots up people's asses."

"Hey don't air out my dirty laundry like that, I haven't done anything to you."

"No but you died on Locky that's a sin, to me at least."

"How is that a sin to die on him? I had stage four brain cancer, I couldn't magically heal that."

"Its sin because it hurt my Eilífur Félagi, if he's sad I get tempted to kill things. You can't get sick so I can't give you the worst plague that'd torture you for the rest of your life. But I can just murder you with my claws if you make him sad again."

"Kaiser your wife scares me yet at the same makes me proud. I'm confused, should I be worried because this means I'm proud of you finding and dicking crazy."

Fenris just snorted at that but her tail was wagging so she's having fun with this.