expernaces of judging people
Unfortunately it's human nature to judge someone's appearance, whether or not you mean to. I battle with this all the time, and I feel like a bad person for it, but my best advice is, as soon as you discover you are judging, walk up and talk to them. Get to know them. If they are a jerk, that's how you can judge them. Because now you know. Looks have nothing to do with personality, but it's perfectly understandable if every now and then a judgement comes to mind based on that. Try to keep an open mind, but as long as it isn't affecting those around you, don't beat yourself up too much
How often do you negatively judge people based on their appearance? Like when you're walking down a street and you see a fat or ugly person, what do you notice, or are you oblivious to it all?
Sigh. It happens all too often. I glimpse out the corner of my eye and see as fat ugly woman. I think to myself that she should put in some effort to make herself more attractive. What a lazy sod. Then I realise it was my reflection in a shop window
If I wear makeup to school because I had time to put it on that morning, I get remarks that I'm clearly begging for attention from guys or that I'm trying too hard to be like the "popular" girls.
When I go back to wearing none, I get remarks that I'm ugly and that I should just hide my face.
If I decide to smile in a picture because I feel genuinely happy, I'm called fake and plastic.
When I don't smile in a picture, I'm the girl that's faking being depressed, or the emo girl.
The answer to the question if it's not already obvious: I get judged all the time.
But we live in a world of judgement.
Even if they don't voice it, it's impossible to walk around and not have at least one person judge you or have an opinion on you, despite knowing you or not.
It's your outlook on these judgements and opinions that changes things.
I'll admit, I let these judgements get to me sometimes. I'm only human and I don't have enough self-confidence to not let them get to me.
That's when I remember: why should I care what others think? Why do I need someone else's validation other than my own?
And that's the outlook I have.
Life isn't fair. You can't always be winning at life because you'll never learn any sort of struggle.
If you receive these negative judgements and opinions, you could just mope about them and accept them as true, or you can push past it and realize that you are better than anyone's negative judgements or opinions of you.
Everyone's allowed to have opinions and judgements. People are going to judge you, no matter what.
But how you view this negativity is what changes everything.
Sad, but… yep. At least in a Western, profit-driven society. What's the most respected lingerie shop in the West? Is it Sears? Wal-Mart? Hmm.. which one features soft-core porn in its shop windows?
Asking most people to ignore their libido at the expense of reason is like asking a dog not to lick his balls. It's possible, but…
Example: A 35 year old, single, hetero male prospective car buyer is negotiating the price of his new vehicle. Which salesperson gets the best commission?
A: A 48 year old, balding, fat male with greasy skin and halitosis.
B: A 40 year old female, 5′ 7, 195 pounds, with an ill-fitting pant suit and yellowing teeth from too much coffee.
C: A 27 year old female, 5′4, 110 pounds, short skirt, shapely body, blouse opened to the 2nd or 3rd button, 38C, tanned skin, white teeth, moderately perfumed, etc.
Am I selling guys short? Maybe. There's lots of factors totally unrelated to gender or 'beauty', such as experience, innate sales talent, and so on. But all things being equal, people are more likely to respond favorably to those to whom they are attracted physically. And at least in the West, there are specific attractors for both males and females, identified by researchers in the field of human psychology.
Need an example of the power of sexuality in business? One word: Hooters. A mediocre wing joint with 50 year old fat male waiters would go out of business inside of a couple months. The same quality joint with hotties serving? One recent report estimated their revenue at almost $300 million.
Tell me that's a coincidence.
Now… is that the same as respect? Maybe not philosophically, but in practice, I'd argue it's the same thing, especially in business
Im not a hot guy….but im not a ugly guy too… I think I am average or a bit above average. Some girls say I am pretty cute…nice green eyes…bla bla…
The point is, this question reminded me of something that happen some years ago (prob 20).
I had a pretty great crush on this girl. She was funny, cute, easy going, anyway, she was right for me, I did loved her. I wanted to be with her. She would not. She liked me, she talk to me pretty well, we both had the same group of friends.
I keep trying to get her for 3 years!!!! Not stalking, not been a dick, just a good friend and a bit kinky from time to time to make sure she did not forget my feelings for her.
I knew she liked guys a bit more tall, or bit more muscle. I was not. Until she started to realize that my way of thinking, my conversations, my kinky side, was attractive.
One day it happen! We kissed! WOW!
A few days after we have our first time together (yea sex).
The only thing I remember after that is what she told me after we made love, and I swear this really happen and it really made me be at shock because I would never saw it.
She said "I would never imagine it". While we were laying down all sweet from our passion, she said this to me with a big smile.
For a guy, it fills up your ego by a lot, and I mean by ALOT!
The thing was she finally understand and felt my love for her and my passion, and it is just me, the way I am in a relation. I give all when I make love with a girl.
She saw and felt things that had nothing to do with the way I looked.
Guess she learned that feelings, heart and passion are much more important that looks.
Our relation still lasted for about another 3 years then because of complications in life and other shit, we broke up.
Still, was the best feeling I ever had in my life.