Intrusive thoughts

Nathan felt terrible. For a split second, he actually thought things would be alright with Nara, but everything crumbled right before it even began.

He tapped lightly on her bedroom door. "I have to go to work, Nara. I want us to talk about this when I get back. Please," he said softly against the door, hoping Nara could hear him.

He sighed when he didn't get a response, then he left.

Nara, alone and naked, curled up on her bed under the covers, had cried her heart out, but crying didn't make her feel any better; it just made her face red and swollen.

She slowly got down from the bed, walked over to the bedroom door, opened it, and made her way to the kitchen. At this point, she was letting her intrusive thoughts control her.

When she arrived at the kitchen, her eyes surveyed the entire space until they landed on the knife set on the cabinet.

She walked over to it and slowly grabbed a knife from the set. She stared at it for a while, her eyes a mixture of frustration and sadness. She could hear her heart beating loudly in her chest.

She hadn't cut herself for a while now. Not since she found out she was pregnant.

She sighed deeply as she grabbed the knife by the blade and squeezed tightly.

She felt a sharp sting, and blood oozed from her hand. She squeezed even tighter, and the blood began flowing profusely, dropping onto the white marble floor.

"Mrs. Hill!! What are you doing?!" the housekeeper exclaimed in shock as she raced to Nara's side.

"Please let go," the housekeeper pleaded, not sure what else to do.

Nara just watched as the blood oozed from her hand. Her eyes were distant, like her mind had left her body and she was just a hollow, mindless shell of herself.

"Judith!!" the housekeeper called out to the home assistant.

"Housekeeper Nancy. How can I be of service?" an automated voice responded.

"Call for help. Madam is hurting herself again."

"Calling emergency services," Judith responded.

"Cancel the call, Judith. I'm alright," Nara interjected, tossing the bloody knife into the sink.

"Canceling call."

The housekeeper looked at Nara with so much concern written all over her face. This wasn't the first time Nara had attempted something like this before. In fact, the last time was much worse.

"Madam. Why do you keep hurting yourself like this?" she asked worriedly.

"Because despite everything. No one truly loves me," Nara replied, then sighed. "Please bring the first-aid kit to my room."

"Of course."

After Nara finished cleaning and bandaging her cut, she got off her bed and decided to pack her things into a suitcase. She was serious about leaving, and nothing would change her mind.

She packed a few essentials before taking her bath and getting dressed. She grabbed her phone and suitcase and slowly left her room, heading for the main door of the penthouse.

"Mrs. Hill?" the housekeeper called out behind Nara, concern evident in her voice. "Where are you going?"

"Out," Nara replied flatly without bothering to look back as she opened the door and walked out.

********

The loud banging on the door interrupted Sharon's much-needed sleep.

"Argh..." she groaned. Who the heck was at her door? She wanted to ignore it, hoping whoever was there would eventually give up, but that wasn't the case. The knocking continued even louder.

Until Sharon angrily got out of bed and walked out of her bedroom to the living room before opening the front door.

"What?!" she yelled before realizing it was Nara. "Nara. What the heck?"

Nara didn't answer; she pushed Sharon out of her way and entered the apartment with her suitcase like she owned the place.

Sharon just stood there speechless before shutting the door.

Nara slumped onto Sharon's couch, her eyes a mixture of frustration and sadness.

Sharon sighed as she sat next to Nara. "Wanna talk about it?" she asked softly, to which Nara shook her head, signifying a no.

Sharon nodded in understanding. "Have you had breakfast yet?" she asked with concern.

Nara shook her head.

"I'll go make you something to eat," Sharon said as she rose to her feet and walked towards the kitchen.

She grabbed two bowls and a box of cereal from the shelf, then grabbed a carton of milk from the fridge and walked back over to Nara.

She handed Nara a bowl, and Nara looked up at her in disbelief.

"I thought you said you'd make me breakfast."

"Yeah, and here's a bowl of cereal."

"Cereal?" Nara asked in annoyance. "Do I look like I'm in the mood for cereal?"

"And do I look like I'm in the mood to make someone breakfast?" Sharon replied flatly.

"Screw your cereal. I'm not even in the mood to eat."

"Suit yourself," Sharon replied as she sat down, poured herself some cereal, added milk, and began munching. "So what happened?" she asked as she ate.

"I'm moving in with you," Nara replied.

"Oh," Sharon said slowly as the cereal suddenly tasted bad. "Why?" she asked nervously.

"I took your advice. I left Nathan."

"I see," Sharon said with a frown as she placed her bowl of cereal on the table. "Did something else happen to trigger that decision? You said so yourself you didn't want to leave him."

"We fucked," Nara answered flatly.

"Oh. And you didn't like it?" Sharon asked, confused.

"Nope. I fucking loved it," Nara replied casually.

"Then what's the problem?"

"When I woke up this morning, I felt different and really good, like something was lifted, and for the first time in a while, I was happy," Nara explained, and Sharon could hear the hurt in her voice.

"I was gonna tell him," Nara said as a tear streamed down her face. "I was gonna tell him about the baby."

"Then what happened?"

"Then I saw a fucking picture of Rebecca on his nightstand."

"Fuck."

"Yeah. What's worse is that I asked him if he still loved her, and he said nothing."

Sharon sighed. "Everything is gonna be alright," she said as she pulled Nara into her arms, hugging her tightly as she sobbed lightly.

Sharon stroked her back gently, then she noticed the bandage wrapped around Nara's hand.

"Did you cut yourself?" She asked grabbing Nara's hand and inspecting it.

"Yeah. It was an accident."

"An accident... do you really expect me to believe that?"

"It's not a big deal."

"Yeah, you're right. It's a huge deal. Nara, you have to go see a therapist. This is clearly out of your control," Sharon voiced her concerns angrily.

"I'm fine. I only cut myself when I'm triggered," Nara said, pulling her hand away.

"That doesn't make it right, Nara."

"Can you just stop talking. You're making me feel worse," Nara said angrily as she crossed her arms.

"Fine. But this talk isn't over."