Chapter 61: Seon-Ho

Her absence was taking a serious toll on the both of us...not a day went by when I wasn't drunk or high and Hwi had ants in his pants and started loosing his mellow personality. I guess we never really knew how much this brat held us all together, even Hui-Jee and Hwi's friends were getting worried and they didn't even know the girl well, not like me. Well...her brother anyways, but looking over Yeon's letters and dairies I was beginning to understand how she thought, how she acted...which was a lot similar to myself. Hui-Jee and her friend Hwa-Wo tried to take care of us but they were nowhere as good as Yeon. Girls who grew up in gibang's I realised privately...were not warm, they did not show a lot of affection and did not know how to take care of men, it wasn't in their nature. Yeon however...

The rest of them couldn't bare to watch us like this so they searched every day whilst myself and Hwi waited together until she came home. I was...not at ease without her touch, her smell and her taste as I felt half of myself suddenly go missing...and coincidentally Prince Bang-Won had disappeared as well.

Myself and Chief Park started looking into this as we didn't want to get Hwi involved due to the prince's...attachment to him. We looked around for 2 days at all the places he would visit regularly until we accidentally came across a separate residence that appeared to be unlisted in his paperwork when we 'interrogated' some of his men we caught off guard drinking in Ihwaru. We made our way to the estate which was not at all far from the palace. We monitored the Prince's pattern for a day or 2 before we noticed that he kept going to a separate smaller building first thing in the morning and last thing at night. We could look inside but we could hear voices...and what we heard brought me to my knees entirely...but it also gave me strength.

"How long will you refuse to request Seo Yeon? You've been here for a few days now; you've starved yourself, you hurt my people, you refuse my gifts and for what? Why are you so foolish in turning down my generosity when you are the only one I have shown it to?" "For the last time I do not want anything to do with the palace. I didn't hide myself in my epilepsy, my poverty and my straw shoes to be a man's plaything. Even if he is one of the wealthy ones." "Sure you don't want the ones that could provide for you and secure your future. You like...half breeds mongrels that dare to exist, that dare to have a lot of dangerous ambition but no security to his name; no money no property in which to secure you. What he has come from my father" I felt my anger rise to dangerous new levels and even Chief Park had a hard time restraining me, he had to almost wrestle me to the ground with a similar technique to Hwi's. But before I lost it completely we heard Yeon laugh.

"So that's what this is about...your obsession with my brother has lead to your jealousy with Seon-Ho. Isn't that why you want him dead? So you can have my brother all to yourself?" For the first time we heard a tone in him that probably no one has before...but she carried on always. "Do you really think that my brother will be happy if anything happens to him? Really?" "In case you've forgotten, Nam Seon-Ho betrayed..." "Yes he betrayed my brother and myself. So what? If we wanted him dead then we both had many opportunities over the years don't you think? Especially myself as I lived with him." I thought I was going to pass out, my guilt surpassing new levels that seeped into my anger. "My brother loves him so much that he would kill anyone that goes after him even now. Do you really think a small thing like betrayal from him means anything to us? Especially when he kept us alive despite all the pressure he was under." We heard him lose all control, things being smashed around...and a slap. At this point Chief Park was on top of me...and Hwi who had just recently come. Even though Yeon didn't scream, the mere thought of anyone...anyone touching her had me in a monstrous state, a part of me that allowed me to submerge myself in all of my anger and take it out on anyone in my sight. "Hwi loves him that much despite everything he did. And you..." "isn't that why you locked me here? Because you know exactly how I feel about him? Despite your...generosity, my mind and heart won't change at all. I cannot belong to anyone..." "anyone apart from him you mean? Does what he did really not worry you? If he betrayed you once he will do it again Seo-Yeon and he's take your soul to hell with him" "then that's where you'll find me right alongside him." "What if I kill him? It would be easy for me to do so you know?" "I will not beg you for his life. Kill him if you want...but myself and my brother will follow him in death no matter what you do to us. But not before Hwi himself kills you for it" She replied as calmly as I have ever heard her. We heard silence for a long time that was putting me on edge...until finally..."well, I guess I have no business keeping you here by force. You are...free to leave" he replied menacingly before leaving. Once again they both had to wrestle me to the ground so I wouldn't do something stupid like attempt to assassinate a prince. I waited for Yeon to come out as the men took care of the guards in their own anger...only to find her bloodied and bruised. Despite her brother being there she only had me in her sights as she reached out to me...and collapsed into my arms.

I ran back to the hideout not even waiting for rest as I took her to be treated by Moon-Bok and the Ihwaru girls. My last straw of hope, of life, of happiness depended on this woman. My ears and heart were still ringing from the words she declared so beautifully just for me...looking at her injuries she was so wilful, so strong. She clung onto life just for me and she didn't even utter a word whilst going through it all. The ride back was pure agony though it was barley 30 minutes away from the hideout. She was in my arms the minute we were on ground and she was out of them again when I handed her over to Moon-Bok just as Hwi and Chief Park arrived. It was our turn to wrestle Hwi away from the door and restrain him until Moon-Bok did what he had to do. Only Hui-Jee noticed how on edge I was, I could see it in her eyes that she knew something was wrong with me but didn't say anything about it in Hwi's presence. He was already on edge more than I had ever seen him...but we could see it in each others eyes that our pain over this girl that he trusted me with...it scared the both of us.

She was only treated for an hour but every minute was torture. Yeonnie...brave little Yeon still didn't utter a sound but I begged...I begged and I prayed that I take on all of her hurt, her pain to make sure that she was safe and ok. It didn't matter to me how intelligent she was or if she knew how to fight, she was soft and beautiful to me and if anyone tainted that I would make them pay. I was trying to restrain myself from finding that god-damned prince but I know Yeon would never forgive me if I did something that reckless. If I hunted for my own death she would do the same and torment me in the afterlife for it...that much was clear, even if she wouldn't admit it to me yet. I was craving a drink so badly to calm my nerves...or opium but I was frozen to my seat. Hwi was about to loose it as Hui-Jee made him take a walk, leaving me alone to wait for her. Moon-Bok finally came out and I felt my heart sink. I wanted a little time with her before I had to leave her with her brother so I asked him to tel me about her condition first. He had a grave face on him as he told me that her scars were superficial...but she had a lot of them, old ones that definitely lasted for years even if they were faded. I ran right to her side where she was changed into a white gown with her long thick hair all out and open...and for the first time in a week I felt like I I had oxygen back into my lungs. I collapsed onto her as I tried together what I can for one last touch, one last taste before I had to set my plan in action. I didn't know if I would see her again after this, but I needed to do everything to make sure she was safe. Maybe her absence would motivate me a lot more...what famous last words. When I finally gathered the strength to walk away, she put her small hands into my own whilst she was still unconscious and muttering my name. And from then on I knew....no matter how hard I tired to distance myself it still wouldn't work. But I had to try...I mounted my horse when I saw Hwi following me "we have to get this pan over and done with. We can't just kill him outright...we need to take him down...the way my father and sister would" and before I knew it all the men followed me back to my place whilst the girls looked over my love...but when we returned she was gone again.