A tennis match?

Days of this and that passed, and our tennis program plunged into phase two. I made it sound cool right there, but essentially, we just finished doing basic workouts and finally started practicing with a ball and racket.

I say we, but actually, the only one practicing was Totsuka. He was on his own as he desperately pitted himself against a wall under the instruction of the drill sergeant from hell—er, Yukinoshita.

Well, the rest of us didn't have to do this tennis club practice or whatever,so each of us just passed the time however we wanted. Yukinoshita was reading a book in the shade while occasionally glancing over to see how

Totsuka was doing and yelling at him to snap to it, as if just remembering why she was actually there.

Yuigahama had started out practicing with

Totsuka but had gotten sick of it almost immediately and was spending most

of her time napping near Yukinoshita. She was like a dog taken on a walk to the park only to get tired and flop down by the water fountain.

Then there was Zaimokuza, fully intent on developing his magic strike.

Agh, geez, don't throw acorns. And don't dig up the clay court with your

racket, either.

Gathering together a bunch of failures only results in a greater fail after

all.

Me? I was zoning out in a corner of the court while observing some ants.

Fun times.

No, really, it's fun. I don't know what those little things are thinking as

they scurry around, but they live a pretty harried lifestyle. I dunno. Maybe looking down from a tall office building in Tokyo would elicit the same feeling. The shapes of the salarymen in black suits, coming and going, and the shapes of the worker ants seemed to be one and the same.

Eventually, I'll become just like one of those ants, a black speck seen from above. I wonder how I'll feel about life then.

I don't mind salarymen, and actually, I'd even like to be one. It's a pretty.

secure life. It's number two on the list of things I'd like to be in the future after househusband. Number three is a fire engine. Yeah, like I'm gonna be a car.

Of course, I know full well that being a salaryman isn't all fun and games.

When I see my father's face after he comes home from work, he's exhausted

from life, and I salute him for that. I think it's noble to keep on going to work even when bad things happen. So I unconsciously projected my father onto those ants as I mentally cheered them on.

You can do it, Dad. Never surrender, Dad, and don't surrender your hair

follicles, either, Dad. I prayed silently as I dreamed of my future and worried about the prospects of my hairline in the years to come.

Perhaps my prayers were heard, because the ant was marching back to the hole from whence it had come. I'm sure that was what it was doing. I was so moved, I sniffled and wiped away a tear.

Just then…

Smash!!

"Dad!!"

The ant suddenly disappeared along with a tennis ball, leaving no trace

behind. Eyes burning with rage, I glared back in the direction the ball had come from.

"Hmm…so I toss up dust to dazzle my opponent and then take that

opportunity to drive the ball in their direction. It seems my magic strike is complete! This is my fecund illusory earth, Blasty Sandrock!"

So it was you, Zaimokuza… You were the one who did this to my father

(the ant)…but whatever. It's just an ant. I put my hands together in a light prayer for the deceased.

Basking in the lingering memory of his successful technique, Zaimokuza

spun his racket around before slinging it over his shoulder and posing. It looked like he'd just gained some EXP.

Well, I didn't give a damn about Zaimokuza or that ant. Guess I'll watch

Totsuka being cute to kill some time.

I could see Yuigahama, who'd woken up at some point, laboriously

dragging around the ball cart under Yukinoshita's direction. She tossed out balls one after another as Totsuka struggled to hit them all back.

"Yuigahama, give him some more difficult tosses, like over here and over

there. It's not real practice unless you do."

Totsuka received balls near the lines and by the net, his ragged breathing

contrasting sharply with Yukinoshita's calm voice. Yukinoshita was serious.

A serious jerk.

No, I mean you're seriously training him. You're scaring me, so don't

look this way… How do you know what I'm thinking?

Yuigahama's throws not only had terrible form, her aim was all over the

place, and the balls flew unpredictably. Totsuka tried to run after them all, but after about the twentieth ball, he skidded and fell.

"Ahh! Sai-chan, are you okay?!" Yuigahama halted her throw and ran up

to the net.

Totsuka smiled with teary eyes as he stroked his scraped knee.

He's so brave. "I'm fine, so keep going."

But Yukinoshita grimaced. "You wanna keep going?"

"Yeah… You're all helping me with this, so I want to try a little more."

"I see. Then you take it from here, Yuigahama," Yukinoshita said and

spun around, striding away to disappear into the school building.

Totsuka watched her uneasily and mumbled, "D-did I maybe say

something to make her angry?"

"No, she's always like that," I replied. "In fact, she's not calling you

foolish or incompetent, so there's a fair chance she's in a good mood."

"Aren't you the only one she talks to like that, Hikki?"

No, I think she talks to you like that a lot too, Yuigahama. You just don't

notice.

"Maybe…she's fed up with me… No matter how much we keep doing

this, I never get any better, and I can only do five pushups…" Totsuka's shoulders slumped as he looked down. Well, that did sound like the sort of opinion Yukinoshita would have. But…

"I don't think so. Yukinon doesn't give up on people who look to her for

help," Yuigahama said, rolling a tennis ball around in her hands.

"Yeah, that's true. I mean, she even helped you with your cooking. She

went that far for you, and there's still some hope for Totsuka, so she's not going to give up on him."

"What's that supposed to mean?!" Yuigahama threw the tennis ball she'd

been fiddling with at my head. It made a stupid-sounding thunk; a clean hit on my noggin. Hey, you've actually got nice aim. You'll get snapped up in the next draft.

I picked up the ball as it bounced away and tossed it lightly toward

Yuigahama. "She'll be back soon enough. I think you can just keep going."

"Okay!" Totsuka replied cheerfully, returning to his practice. After that,

he didn't grumble once or voice a single complaint. He tried really hard.

"Man, I'm tired! You do the throwing now, Hikki!"

Yuigahama's giving in first? Come on.

Well, it wasn't like I had anything better to do. All I was doing was

dedicated ant observation, and that ant had been murdered by Zaimokuza, leaving me with completely loose ends. I had nothing to do.

"All right. I'll trade."

"Yay! Oh, this is the first time I've given up after five throws, so watch

out."

Five throws? That was way too fast. Just how bad was her endurance? I

moved to take the balls from Yuigahama, but then her expression, which had been a cheery smile, grew shadowed.

"Oh, they're playing tennis! Tennis!" I heard the squeal of a chittery voice

and turned to see a great crowd walking our way with Hayama and Miura at the center. They were just passing Zaimokuza and had apparently noticed Yuigahama and me.

"Oh… So it's Yui-chan and her friends," a girl beside Miura observed quietly.

Miura glanced at Yuigahama and me, casually ignored us, and called out

to Totsuka. It seemed she hadn't even noticed Zaimokuza from the start.

"Hey, Totsuka. Can we play here, too?"

"Miura, I'm not exactly…playing… This is practice…"

"Huh? What? I can't hear you."

Miura seemed unable to hear Totsuka's too-quiet protests, and her retort

silenced him. Well, if she'd asked for me to repeat myself like she'd just asked him, I'd have fallen silent, too. She's seriously scary.

Totsuka scrabbled together what little courage he had and opened his

mouth once more. "I-I'm practicing…"

But the queen didn't give a damn about that. "Hmph. But, like, these guys

aren't part of your club. So that means it's not, like, just the boys' tennis club using the court now, right?"

"Y-yes, that's true, but—"

"Then it's okay for us to use it, too, right? Hey, how about it?"

"But…," he began and then looked at me like he wanted help.

Huh? Me? Oh, well, I guess there was only me. Yukinoshita was still off

somewhere, Yuigahama was awkwardly looking away, and no one cared about Zaimokuza. So that left just me, eh?

"Oh, sorry, but Totsuka asked for permission to use the court, so others

can't use it."

"Huh? Like I said, you guys aren't in the club, but you're using it."

"Yeah, but we're just helping Totsuka out with his practice. It's sort of

like subcontracting or outsourcing."

"Huh? What are you even talking about? Creepy."

Wow, she had no intention of listening to me at all. This is why I hate

Idiot sluts like her. If words don't get through to her, does she still even count as a primate? I could have more of a conversation with some dog.

"C'mon, don't pick a fight." Hayama came between us as if to smooth

things over. "Listen, the more the merrier. Can't everyone play?"

Those words sparked something. Miura had cocked back the hammer, and

Hayama had pulled the trigger. All that was left was to let the bullet fly.

"Who's this everyone? Is that the same everyone as the one you bring up

when you pester your mom to buy you something by saying, 'Everyone's got one!'? Who the hell are these guys? I have no friends, so I've never used that tactic."

The bullet flew for its target after passing right through my foot. A

brilliant shot! A miraculous attack!

Even Hayama was shaken by my quip. "Uh, well, I didn't mean it that

way. Hey, I'm sorry. Um, if you need someone to talk to, I'm here, if you want." He rushed to comfort me with dazzling speed.

Hayama is a good guy. I almost said, "Thanks…" or something with tears

in my eyes. But. If that small amount of sympathy were enough to save me, my personality wouldn't have gotten this bad. If that one line could solve someone's issues, no one would have any issues in the first place.

"Hayama, I appreciate your kindness. I know you're a good guy. And

you're the ace of the soccer team. You're even good-looking to boot. You must be so popular with the ladies."

"Wh-where's this coming from?" Hayama was visibly shaken by the

sudden flattery.

Hmph, just keep thinking you're so great. I'm sure you have no idea. Why

do you think people praise one another? It's in order to raise them up even higher so it's easier to knock their feet out from under them and drag them down from their pedestal! This is known as death-by-praise.

"You're talented and have so much, and yet you want to take even the

tennis court from me, who has nothing? Aren't you ashamed, as a human being?"

"He speaks truth! Whatever-your-name-is Hayama! Yours is the most

reproachable form of conduct and a violation of ethics! This is an invasion! The right of vengeance is mine!" At some point Zaimokuza had come up to us and launched into a dramatic speech.

"S-seeing both of you together is twice as annoying and pathetic…"

Yuigahama, beside us, was at a loss for words.

Hayama scratched his head and then gave a short sigh. "Hmm, oh,

okay…"

A wicked smile slipped onto my lips. That was it. Hayama didn't like

stirring up trouble. And at that moment, the players involved in the scene were myself, Zaimokuza, and Hayama. Hayama was trying to calm down the situation while being faced down by superior numbers.

"Hey, Hayato!" A bored-sounding voice slipped in from the side.

"Why're you taking so long with these guys? I wanna play tennis."

Agh, here come the stupid curls again. Are your brain cells twisted up like

that, too? Keep up with the topic at hand. People like you step on the accelerator when they mean to hit the brakes.

Miura actually had mixed up the accelerator and the brakes just then.

Her words had given Hayama a moment to think. In that brief interval, his

mind turned the key in the ignition. "Hmm. Okay then, how about this? Us non–club members will play a match, and the winner will be able to use the tennis court at lunch from now on. Of course, they'll help Totsuka with his practice. It'll be better for him to practice with people who are better at tennis, anyway. And everyone can have fun."

What's with that flawless logic? Are you a genius?

"A tennis match? Whaaat, that sounds totally fun." Miura gave that

ferocious smile, appropriate for the queen of fire.

Instantly, their hangers-on cheered excitedly. That was the moment we

burst into phase three, swept along by the fever of competition in wild enthusiasm and mayhem. I made it sound cool right there, but basically, we

were having a match with the tennis court as the stakes.

Why was this happening…?

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