The Gift of the Past - Gram Meets Tristan

I was sitting in my windowsill looking over the farm as the kids were napping when Gramma entered the room with a thick spiral binder in her hands. It looked old… and new. My curiosity got the better of me and I gave her a quizzical look rather than voice the question.

"I know, you have a lot of questions. There are things you wonder about me." She said with a slight smile. There was a sadness in her eyes that I didn't see very often in her. She was always so focused and determined. "I'm not the witch that you fear I am. I have gifts that God has blessed me with, yes, but I assure you, it's not witchcraft." I opened my mouth to argue knowing that it would be useless because she already knew what I was going to say. She raised her hand to shush me and continued. "I'm going to share something with you that I have never shared with anyone. Not even my husband." She held the notebook out for me to take.

"What it is this?" Knowing the answer but I still had to ask.

"My mother gave me this when I was sixteen. I was at a low point in my life, and she knew I didn't want to talk about it with anyone, so she got me this notebook. This is my journal. This is a collection of my thoughts, feelings and memories. Both good… and bad." I heard her sigh and glanced up to see her swallow hard and blink away a tear that threatened to fall. "I want you to read it."

"I can't…" I whispered through the lump in my throat.

"I need you to. I need you to understand. You have my gifts as well as my blood. I know I can trust you with what is written in these pages." She turned and left me alone with her journal in my hands.

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't curious. I'd also be lying if I said I wasn't a little scared of what I will find written in this book. Judging by the cover, she was a Bon Jovi fan. Weird, I wouldn't have pegged for that type of music considering the kind of stuff they play on the porch at night. Oh well, let's see who this woman used to be.

*

Gram Age 14

"C'mon Gerts, Windy and Stormie will be here soon. Get your buns in this kitchen and help me get food finished up." Sandra pulled the casserole from the oven to set it on the stove then placed the raised rolls in to bake.

Gram rolled her eyes at the name Gerts. Why her mother couldn't call her Gram like everyone else was beyond her understanding. "Okay, Mom. Let me just finish this really quick." She had been working on a report for history class and needed to write the last few lines before putting it up for the night.

"Now, Gerts."

"Just. About. Done." She scribbled down the last words quickly before the thought was gone. Tossing the pencil down and slapping the notebook shut she hollered, "There! What do you need me to do, Mom?"

"Put the green salad together in the big bowl. I'll get the punch going."

"Who else is coming to dinner? You've got enough food here to feed everyone at church."

"Just Stormie, Windy and the kids. Hank has to work tonight so he won't be here."

"Why so much food then?"

"Well, Windy just had a baby last week."

"I don't think she's gonna be able to eat a side of beef." The smell of barbecued meat filled the air as her father had come in with what he had grilled outside for dinner.

"You forget she has five other little ones with big appetites?"

"The oldest of which is only ten. What ten-year-old eats that much?"

"Clearly, you haven't paid attention to their past visits. That ten-year-old is as big as you are already and very athletic. Trust me, he can eat. Now stop griping and get that salad on the table."

Gram walked the salad to the table just as said ten-year-old came bursting through the doors with his sisters and brothers on his heels. "Hey Gram!" He hollered as he ran by her to the kitchen.

"Grant." She greeted. "C'mon in." She added with a hint of sarcasm. "Hey Maggie. How are you today?"

An eight-year-old girl with long blonde hair came running up to Gram and threw her arms around her neck when she squatted down. "Hey, Gram! I missed you. We haven't seen you in a long time."

"

Jeannie! You and Grant seemed to have grown by leaps and bounds since I last saw you."

"Yeah, Grant got a lot taller. I only grew an inch." She pouted.

"Well, an inch is a lot. Come, you can help me get the rest of the food to the table." Gram led the little girl into the kitchen and handed her the butter dish to be taken to the table.

Chandra, the five-year-old came running in next. "I wanna help too." She declared with open arms.

"Okay," Gram said. "How about you take the salt and pepper?" she handed the shakers to the little girl who squealed in delight and ran back to the dining table.

"You're going to make a great mother one day, Gram." Praised the mother of the children. "You are really good kids."

"Thanks, Windy. It's just because I don't have any full-time." She giggled. "But your kids are fun. Where's the twins?"

"Lucas and Hugo are with Stormie. They'll be here soon. Wanna hold the baby?"

"Yes, please." She grinned as she took the infant in her arms. "What's her name?"

"May. May Bea Merkle."

"Maybe? Cool."

Windy laughed. "Not Maybe. May. Middle name Bea. So just May. Okay?"

Gram nodded only to appease the woman as she had decided that she would be calling this child Maybe for as long as she knew her. And since she was the default babysitter for date nights and special occasions, she figured she would have plenty of time to get the nickname to stick. Sandra and Gram got the rest of the food on the table just as Stormie arrived with the three-year-old twins and a young teenaged couple that was not originally on the guest list; the female of which was obviously very late into pregnancy. Gram's heart took a little leap as her eyes locked onto the boy of the couple. He was tall and slender with dark hair and black/brown eyes. He had his arm around his female companion who seemed to be uncomfortable. Gram assumed she was more just nervous around strangers rather than being so late in pregnancy.

Sandra stopped what she was doing to greet the young couple. "Hello, welcome. I'm Sandra and this is my husband, Paul. Or Pastor Marquee as you may know him. And you are?"

The boy spoke up with a handshake to Paul. "Tristan Gabbard. And this is my girlfriend, Honey Butterfield. I hope we aren't imposing. Stormie invited us along tonight." 'Tristan Gabbard?' Gram thought. ' As in my friend George's brother, Tristan?"

Sandra smiled genuinely at them. "Not at all. You are most welcome to join us." Turning her attention to the girl she offered her hand. "Miss Butterfield? How much time do you have left? You may know this already, but Stormie's sister, Windy just had a little girl last week."

The girl hung her head and rubbed her belly before answering. "Any day now. Official due date was yesterday."

"That's wonderful!" exclaimed Sandra. "No doubt, you are extremely uncomfortable at this point. Well, if you need anything at all, you be sure to let us know. My daughter, Gertrude and I love to babysit too."

"Thanks. I'll keep that in mind," Tristan said as he glanced in Gram's direction.

Paul interrupted the conversation. "Let's eat now and visit after. I'm starving." The guests agreed with the suggestion and joined the children at the table that were already digging into the feast. "Hey, kids! Pray first."

"Oh! Can I pray?" Grant piped. Paul nodded and everyone bowed their heads. "Dear Lord, thank you for this food and for new friends. Bless this food to our bodies and help us stay healthy. Amen. Oh! I forgot. Thank you for my new baby sister, Maybe."

Windy shot a sideways glance at Gram and frowned at the nickname her son used. Gram just grinned.

*

The following months shot by like a lightning strike. One minute in was May, the next it was August, and the new school year began. Unfortunately for Gram, the short summer added five inches to her already taller-than-most height. Couple that with going up four shoe sizes and two cup sizes in those same short three months and she was bound to have a powder keg of harassments headed her way.

Three weeks into the school year she had earned to the nicknames Lurch, Amazon, and Skyscraper. Lurch being the most common since that was the one her cousin Hilda used when speaking to or about her. Hilda was among the popular crowd and as such, her influence was widespread among the student body. She was on the cheerleading squad, the homecoming committee, the yearbook committee and was dating Johnny, the hottest guy in school who just so happened to be the youth drummer at Pastor Marquee's church. Whatever Hilda's opinion was, the crowd would follow. To the student body, Hilda was the queen. To Gram, she was nothing more than a bully.

Gram did her best not to let the teasing get to her by returning hurt for hurt. Whenever her cousin would greet her with the name 'Lurch', Gram would respond with the name 'Napoleon.' Unfortunately, that strategy ultimately led to an increase in the bullying, as Hilda recruited more and more people to insult and belittle her tall cousin.

Gram's best friend, George had gotten into many fights defending her from the bullies. He suffered countless hours of detention and two suspensions by Halloween. Not to mention a couple of cracked ribs, bruised knuckles, and various scar-leaving flesh wounds from said altercations. George didn't mind defending his friend, though as he felt no kid should be bullied so ruthlessly, let alone his best friend. A girl whom he had liked since kindergarten.

She felt terrible about all the fights her friend, George had gotten into over her. It pained her to see him injured all the time knowing she was the root cause. Though she had begged him repeatedly to leave it alone and stop fighting, he wouldn't do it. He had lost his spot on the football team for getting into so many fights and suffered his own share of crude and unjust bullying for standing up for her.

By Thanksgiving break, Gram had endured so much verbal and physical abuse at school for her size that her grades and her normally high-spirited, confident demeanor were deep in the dumps. She was failing all her classes and lacked the desire to care about it. It was at that point that her parents figured the best course of action was to withdraw her from school and educate her at home, though homeschooling wasn't common at that time.

It was a difficult transition for them, but by her fifteenth birthday they had worked out a routine that seemed to benefit everyone. Her mood and personality slowly seemed to return to normal as did George's jock life at school. Dealings with the arrogant cousin became limited to church on Sundays which was bearable. Things had settled down for the most part.

Mornings were spent studying and completing lessons. Mid-afternoons she would take over babysitting duties and evenings were for chores and added research as needed. Of the three, Gram enjoyed babysitting the most. She not only had Windy's twin boys and her new baby, Maybe but she also had Tristan and Honey's baby girl, Melissa Ann; whom she called Missy or Missy Ann. So, it was like she had two sets of twins to take care of, but she loved it.

Each day after school, Honey would come for Missy with little to no conversation. She kept her words short and polite. She often looked tired and annoyed. Gram felt as if she were frustrated and unhappy. "How long before she just twists off and leaves them both?" she asked her mother one afternoon after Honey left with her child.

"What makes you ask such a question, Gerts?"

"I don't know. She just doesn't seem happy. I've never seen her look at her baby with any love at all."

"Well, you only see her here. She's in school all day while her boyfriend is at work. Maybe she's just little tired. Maybe you should pray for her."

"I will, but I still don't see her sticking around much longer."

Sandra patted Gram's back. "Such a pessimist, you are these days."

*

The month of May rolled around and with it came birthday parties for May and Melissa and graduation for Honey. May's birthday was first, then graduation, then Melissa's birthday so Sandra had organized the toddlers to share a party between their birthdates. It was small party held on a Wednesday afternoon at a local park.

Gram arrived early with her mother to help set up the ball pit they had rented for the little kids to play in. As she was dumping the bags of balls into the pit, she felt two hands cover eyes. "George!?"

He laughed. "How'd you know it was me?"

"Who else is tall enough?" She smirked.

"Ah! True." He was equal in height to her, so he didn't have any issue with her being as tall as she was. He looked at the pit of balls and whined. "Kids today have it so lucky. When we were little, we had sticks to play with, not plastic balls."

"Keep getting into fights and future wife will have be satisfied with plastic balls instead the real ones." She giggled as she gestured with her eyes to nether region so he could understand her meaning.

His face flushed. "Don't be crude, preacher girl." He warned. "What would your Papi say if he heard such language come out of your mouth? Besides, I know how to protect myself."

"What he doesn't know, won't hurt him," she remarked. "What brings you here today? I thought you started working at the Snack Shack today."

"I start tonight. I came with my brother, silly. It's Missy Ann's birthday party too. Remember?"

"Oh. Wait! Missy Ann?" She snapped her head in his direction. "Tristan is your brother?"

"Well, duh… I thought you knew?" She shook her head. "How could you not know? We have the same last name. I'm sure I've mentioned him over the years. It's not like haven't been friends for like… ever. Seriously, Gram."

"Well, yeah. You've mentioned him, but never by name. He was never around when I came to your house, so I never met him before. Hilda and I have the same last name, yet she is not my sister. Thankfully. And you two look nothing alike. I mean he is tall," She stared off with a dreamy look as she described the elder brother, "dark and shockingly handsome and your…"

"Chopped liver?" He uttered with annoyance.

"I was gonna say 'not dark' and 'taller' but 'chopped liver' is good too."

"Yeah? Well… you were drooling while you were talking about him just now. In fact, you still have some right…" he said as he reached his hand towards her face, but she dodged before he could touch her.

"Was not." She protested with a punch to his shoulder.

"Were too," he laughed. "He's got a girlfriend, you know. And a kid, so stop your drooling and focus on what you can have."

"Oh? And what might that be?"

"Oh, I don't know. A guy you own age, maybe." He said staring into her eyes playfully.

"Hmmm. Like you?"

He smiled. "Maybe."

"You have a girlfriend too." She reminded him.

"Stacy is just a friend." He sighed.

"Uh huh."

Just then and man just slightly shorter than George walked up to greet them with a smile and a child in his arms. "Hey, George. Gram."

"Speak of the devil…" George whispered in Gram's ear. "Hey Tristan."

"Hey, Tristan. Hey Missy Ann." She reached out to tickle the child in his arms. The girl in turn reached for Gram to take her. Tristan willingly let the child go to Gram. "That's my girl. Where's Mommy?"

"She's not feeling well today." Tristan offered. "Said she had a headache, so she stayed home today."

"Hmmm." George gave his brother a disapproving glare. "She's missing her daughter's first birthday for a headache?"

Gram put a hand on George's arm to remind him not to lose his temper. "I'm sure they'll have a private party at home for her. It's better for her to rest than to be miserable in a crowd of people."

"Whatever." George huffed. "Maybe she should see a doctor. She seems to get a lot of headaches."

Tristan and George exchanged looks but said nothing further. "I'll go see if I can help with the grill. Do you mind hanging on to her for a bit, Gram?"

"Of course! You go on. We're buddies, aren't we little one," she nuzzled the baby's neck making her giggle. When Tristan was out of earshot, Gram stated, "I assume you don't care much for Honey."

"My brother is an idiot."

"Aren't we all when it comes to love?"

"He may be in love, but she isn't."

"What do you mean?"

"Just…"

"I don't think she'll be around much longer," Gram added before he could finish his thought.

"I don't think she'll around much longer either."

"I don't think she seems very happy at all."

It's not because she's unhappy but because her 'headache' goes by the name Sebastian."

Gram's eyes widened. "What? Sebastian? You mean Sebastian Wheeler?"

"Yep. She started dating him shortly after Missy was born. He's moving to Florida for university this week." He kept his feature calm, but his voice gave way to his obvious distain for the child's mother.

"Poor Tristan. Does he know?"

George shook his head. "But he will soon. If she doesn't tell him, I will. I gave her until graduation to come clean with him.

"So, you think she will follow Sebastian to Florida?"

He shrugged his shoulders. "Maybe. Maybe she'll find a different headache to have."

She hugged Missy Ann tighter. "Poor girl. I can't help but hope she leaves you behind. I would love you and take care of you always."

George looked at her nuzzling his niece with love, admiration, and sadness in his eyes. "You'd be a better mother than the one she has now, for sure."

"How did you find out?"

"You forget that Sebastian and I were friends?"

"Oh, so he told you. Makes sense."

"He's been talking about her since they started dating. Never thought much about it. At the time I just thought Honey was a lovey dovey nickname he had for her. I didn't realize it was Tristan's Honey until Sebastian finally introduced her to me a couple of weeks ago when he took her to prom."

"Wowzer. That's crazy."

"The crazy part is that he knew she was with my brother and that she had a kid with him. He never once said anything about it to me until then. Needless to say, he and I aren't friends anymore. And that two-timing skank can…"

"Whoa there, Nelly. Rein the mouth in. Baby doesn't need to here that kind of talk about her mama, now. Good or bad, she's the mom so be nice for your niece's sake."

George calmed himself down and smiled at his niece. "She's the good thing that came from this whole mess." He tickled the girl to make her giggle. "I'll be her favorite uncle."

"Ha ha. You're her only uncle."

"Well, the only one she needs to know about anyway."

"You have more brothers?" Gram was shocked. "What kind of best friend are you, that you have kept so many secrets from me?"

"There's not to tell. We have one brother that we know and trust me, he's not worth knowing. And then there's a couple of siblings we know nothing about." Gram raised a questioning eyebrow at him. "Let's just say, Dad got around."

"Ah! Okay then. Shall we?" She asked as she started walking towards the picnic tables.

"Yes! I'm starving."

*

Gram stayed home with the Missy Ann on graduation night so that Honey didn't have to worry about her child screaming during the ceremony. Tristan came alone to pick her up afterwards. The following morning, Honey dropped her off early saying she had to take back some things to the school and clear out her locker. Gram knew that she was lying because seniors had gotten out of school the week prior to graduation but opted to play dumb. Taking Missy in her arms, she wished Honey a good life rather than a good day.

Her mother came from the kitchen. "Have a good life?" She asked Gram as the door was closed.

"Yeah. She won't be back today."

"Oh? Where did she say she was going? She asked you to keep her overnight?"

"No, Mom. I mean, she won't be back. She didn't say anything, I just know… When does Tristan get off work today?"

"What do you mean, you know?"

"I just do. I told you months ago that I thought she would twist off and disappear."

"What makes you think that's her plan today?"

Gram pointed to the bag on the floor that was brought by Honey. Sandra's eyes widened a bit in disbelief. "Ten bucks says everything this child owns is in that bag. Including her birth certificate."

Sandra grabbed the duffel bag and opened it find what looked like the baby's entire wardrobe and toys in it. In the side pocket she found an envelope that contained the birth certificate and letter addressed to Tristan explaining she was done and didn't want to be found. Sandra slapped a hand over her mouth and shook her head.

"Believe me now?" Gram asked. "When will Tristan be off today?"

"I'll call your father. He'll get a hold of Tristan. This is going to break his heart, you know."

"Yeah, but not so much. Losing his daughter would have been worse."

"Poor little baby girl." Sandra cooed at the infant. "Come here, sweetheart." She took the child in her arms and held onto her as she walked to the phone to call her husband to give him the news.

"Mom?" Gram interrupted. "Don't call just yet. Please. Let him work. We can tell him when he comes at the normal time to pick Missy up."

"I don't think he was expecting Missy to be with us today. He should at least know that much."

"Trust me. He knows." Gram assured.

"Still," Sandra argued but the look on her daughter's face told her it'd be best to comply with her request. "I'll at least pass on the message that she's here. Okay?"

"Okay."