5

Chapter 5: Alcohol is Bad Kids

Notes:

Hey! And as some of you have noticed I've added some tags...yay for rare pairs I guess. You know this is the peril of being a multi-shipper without any real ships in a fandom. This shit just happens.

Chapter Text

Darcy stared at the computer program her sister had created. "Ok I'm only like 30% sure what this even is...at best. Properly understand maybe 10%. How...sweet Thor."

"Engineering is your thing, hacking is mine. I mean you're making a shock absorber more effective than vibranium. It's pretty cool." Daisy grinned.

She rolled her eyes. "Fine, fine. But if I need a fake id again you're making it. Also you got some trojans I can unleash on my enemies?"

"Enemies?" Daisy turned to face her fully, laughter in her voice.

Daisy nodded solemnly. "You know, dudes who friend me on facebook for the girls." She looked down at her chest. "Not that the girls aren't awe worthy, but some creeps deserve a lesson."

"I can do that." Daisy leaned back before falling serious. "You're pretty neat. I'm sorry it's not safe to spend more time getting to know you."

"Eh, you better skype in for movie night every weak." Darcy brushed off. "And visit, you know the kid's going to run into bad guys who are actually bad news at least three times a year."

Daisy snorted. "Fair enough." She tilted her head to one side. "So what do you need me to break for you today?"

"This." Darcy reached under the table and picked up her proto-type, version 6. She dropped the hodgepodge machine on the table. "This piece of crap should theoretically absorb up to a richter 2.6 earthquake. If I had better tools and materials I could theoretically make it absorb up to a 5.3 with the current design. It's kinda fucking cool as shit." She plugged in the extension cord.

Daisy raised a brow while standing up. "Uh...that's a lot of exposed wires?"

"This baby is unfinished. No point covering wires until I know it works right." Darcy pulled her hair back into a scrunchy. "Grab my laptop sis."

Daisy made a noise of some protest, but she did pick up the ancient laptop up from under the couch. Opening the sucker up, Daisy plugged it in while moving past the login screen despite not knowing the password.

Darcy picked up her pressure gage and hooked it up to the prototype. "If you feel your bones hurting you stop."

"Yeah, yeah." Daisy waved off.

She connected the wires between her laptop and prototype. "This is gonna be rad." Darcy hissed as there was some sparking. Sticking several of her fingers into her mouth she nodded. "Alright, just like… slap your hands down on top and start slow."

Daisy looked dubious, but she carefully set her hands on top of the prototype.

Darcy felt like whooping as she saw the numbers on her screen. "It's working!" She bit her lip looking at the readings on her screen. "Have I mentioned how dope ass your powers are?"

"You hadn't." Daisy's voice was tight.

Her eyes were sharp as she looked up at her sister. Not pain, just concentration. Darcy went back to the readouts. "Ok, increase your output just a little. And your powers are rad."

"Should there be smoke?" Daisy's tight voice pitched up.

Darcy ignored the alarm. "Ok just a little more. We're almost there."

"It's sparking!" Daisy's voice was straight up alarmed.

She hissed. "A little more!"

Daisy let out a yelp. And then Darcy wheezed as she was tackled.

They rolled over the couch, hitting the ground with a painful thud. Darcy glared at her sister. "What the sweet Th-"

And then her prototype exploded.

"Well that's not good." Darcy popped up from behind the couch and cringed. "Shitnuggets!" She lunged into the kitchen corner, diving under the counter to haul out the fire extinguisher. Fumbling with the trigger she spun and started hosing down the wreckage of her poor prototype.

Darcy nearly lost her head as Daisy's jacket went whipping through the air. Daisy was whacking at the flames licking one of the couch cushions.

"So…" Darcy looked around at the metal shrapnel embedded throughout her shit hole apartment. "Good call on the tackling."

Daisy snorted, and then burst out laughing.

She blew some loose hair out of her face. Which is of course when the fire alarm went off. Darcy couldn't help it, she joined in laughing then. "Oh Thor I'm turning into Jane." She gasped out between laughs.

"So that's how I tased Thor." Darcy explained while ripping a piece of shrapnel out of the counter with her bent pliers. She grunted and then jerked suddenly as it came free.

Daisy laughed as she kept typing from where she was attempting to recover the memory from the still smoking wreck of Darcy's laptop. "Since you were in New Mexico does that mean you met Sif? I've met her twice now and she's super badass."

"I did! Sif and the Warriors Three are like the big dude's besties. Though why it's not the Warriors Four is some sexist bullshit. Like Sif is part of their little viking gang." Darcy moved onto the next piece of shrapnel. "But Thor is even yummier in person than he is on tv."

Daisy kept typing. "Yeah Sif was super hot. Totally drool worthy, I was shot and stuck in medbay for like the whole mission. Bullets just bounced off of her."

"And this is why you're wearing the new bullet proof suit we made for you. It may be mostly depressingly black, but the touches of yellow really make it a look." Darcy pointed the pliers at Daisy. "No getting bullets pulled out of you."

"I'll wear the suit." Daisy huffed. "But how are Asguardians just, so hot?"

Darcy grinned. "If I wasn't such a good bro to Jane I would have done more than lightly grope the big guy's arms."

"Hey next time you see the big guy touch the biceps for me. For science." Daisy leaned back. "And I got what I could but I think this thing has given up its ghost."

Darcy clasped her hands together in a mocking attempt at prayer. "May his soul rest in peace."

"I'll clean up and mail you the next laptop I find while knocking in mobster nards." Daisy offered while standing up and grabbing the slightly more bent pair of pliers and heading for the table. "I did not realize your shock absorber could even explode."

She stuck her tongue out. " Sorry, I cheated out on the casing to get better springs and when it heated up due to the current the casing weakened faster than the springs, and well... boom"

"Boom." Daisy grabbed a bit of shrapnel and started wiggling it out of the table. "On the plus side that couch is shockingly sturdy. You can't even really tell it got blown up."

Darcy gave the formerly green relic a look. "The burn marks compliment the pizza stains."

"Undoubtedly." Daisy agreed, silent humor filling her face.

"Oh don't give me that look. Your fate is still in my hands, or do you want to head back to the Parker abode wearing that?" Darcy gave the slightly singed looking shirt on her sister a pointed look.

Daisy held up her hands in surrender. "No judging the couch in exchange for a clean flannel shirt Boss."

"And don't you forget it. I get big sister rights. Even if you are the rebellious middle child." Darcy puffed up with a smug smirk. It was good to have someone who didn't mind explosions, her crappy apartment, Asguardians, and appreciated flannel. "Now as the cool older sister, wanna run by why your appreciation of the Asguardian form sounded forced?"

Daisy blinked, and then her shoulders slumped slightly. "That obvious?"

"The fact that in the time we've known each other, brief though it may be, you've never so much as looked at a hot person, let alone mentioned one. It was a bit of a clue." Darcy yanked another piece of shrapnel free. "So want to talk about it?"

Daisy opened her mouth, head starting to shake only to pause and then she shrugged. "You know what, why the hell not. How much paint thinner pretending to be vodka do you have?"

"So much dude." Darcy hopped off the counter. "I could use it to deal with the fact that was my graduation project. Goodbye early graduation."

Daisy pulled a piece of shrapnel free and set her pliers down. "So...there's lawn chairs on the roof right?"

"Grab the fuzzy blankets and I'll get the booze sister."

////

May Parker was reading her new romance novel when she heard a thud against the door of the apartment. She set her book aside and picked up her new taser. Slowly she pulled her throw off of her legs and approached the door.

Which is when she heard the obnoxious drunk giggles. May groaned and marched the rest of the way to the door. She opened and raised a brow while looking down at the two brunettes that'd just spilled into her entryway. "Evening girls "

Daisy blinked up, her eyes red rimmed but she looked so much lighter. Clutched to her chest was a bottle of bubblegum flavored vodka. The girl opened her mouth and then started giggling into Darcy's shoulder.

Darcy on the other hand was suspiciously grease stained and some of her hair looked rather charred. The girls burst into peals of laughter. They looked ridiculous. Darcy seemed to realize May had spoken first. Her voice came out in the loudest whisper known to man. "May! It's girls night!"

"Is it now?" She asked dryly.

Darcy nodded, her cheek pressed against Daisy's forehead. "Yup. Daisy's boyfriend died saving the planet from alien mind control drugs and my graduation exploded. So girls night! Drown our sorrows." She hiccups. "But then we realized you're one of the girls too!"

May waited and realized nothing else was coming. She leaned down and grabbed under Darcy's armpits and hauled the drunk co-ed to her wobbly feet. "Come on, let's get you to bed and some water."

"You're the best." Darcy slurred while slumping most of her weight on May.

Daisy raised a hand from the floor. "I told you she was the bestest!" She then sprang to her feet, swayed, and then hugged the door jam. Her face smooshing against the molding, dumb smile on her face. "Ninja."

"Shut the door behind you." May instructed while dragging the drunker of the two girls to her own room. She was tired, and sticking the two drunk kids in her bed and taking the couch herself was sounding easiest.

It was a bit like corralling a noodly sack of flour that kept insisting on giggling. May smiled as Darcy petted at her hair. She gently pushed Darcy onto the bed. Picking up the water glass on the bedside table, she pressed it into Darcy's hands. "Drink that." She waited till Darcy was obediently drinking before heading back into the rest of the apartment.

May snagged the vodka Daisy was drinking straight from the bottle. She dropped the whole thing into the sink. Picking up a clean glass she filled it with water. Stepping back to Daisy she put the glass of water into her hand. "Drink up."

"Thanks." Daisy's voice was slightly slurred, but surprisingly pulled together for how horrifically drunk she had to be. But she threw the water back, guzzling it in one go. She pressed the back of one hand to her mouth, setting the glass down with the other. Her eyes were dark as they looked at May then. "How do you do it? Keep living after Ben died?"

"Oh honey." May stepped forward pulling the girl into her arms. "I'm so sorry. You're far too young to have lost so much."

Daisy's breath hitched and then she was sobbing into May's shoulder.

May ran her fingers through Daisy's hair as she sat on the edge of the bed. The girls were half asleep. Darcy had been reduced to the occasional mumble as she lay there, curled around Daisy as the big spoon. Her nose was mostly buried in her sister's hair. Darcy's occasional snort letting them know she would probably like to not have said hair in her face. May brushed some of Daisy's hair out of Darcy's face.

"You two sleep tight." May stood and moved only to pause in the doorway. She looked at the two girls. All three of the kids looked so different, but there was that certain something that came across as familial. She felt privileged to watch these lost kids coming together. It was messy and they were a little broken, and heroic nutts all of them. But she was pretty sure they were going to be something spectacular someday.

Not tonight though.

////

Peter came skidding into the kitchen while pulling his t-shirt over his head. "Morning!"

"Nooooooooooo…" A hoarse female voice whined from the table.

He blinked. "Darcy?" His eyes tracked to the lump curled protectively around a mug of coffee. "Daisy? Are you guys ok?"

"Oh they're just hungover." May announced cheerfully. At the sound of her voice both of his sisters cringed. She licked her thumb, and rubbed something off of his cheek. "And this is why drinking too much is a bad idea. You'll end up puking at two am and looking like your sisters."

Peter burst out with a short shock of laughter. "Uh…"

"Thanks for the lesson in responsible drinking ladies." May chirped, her eyes twinkling as she set Peter's lunch on the counter.

He grinned while filling a bowl with cereal and dumping milk over it. It was hilarious as Darcy and Daisy both twitched every time his spoon hit the sides of the bowl.

Daisy hissed, shooting him a truly deadly glare. "Do you have to slurp that loud?"

"I don't know what you're talking about. This is how I eat." He positively smug.

Darcy chucked a wadded up napkin at his head. "Shut your smart mouth."

"Nope." He popped the 'p' with as much prejudice as he could.

May laughed. "Finish up your breakfast before you're late for the bus young man. And I expect you home from Spiderman duties by seven so you have time to do your homework."

Peter landed on the roof next to Daisy. "Sup!"

"Alien blood, hangovers pass faster for me than for humans." Daisy swept his legs, knocking him flat. "You're still a brat though."

He grinned, pulling his mask off and sitting up. "So is hero-ing usually this…"

"Boring?" Daisy grinned. "Yeah, it's a lot of hurry up and wait. And you little bro are dealing with local petty crime. There's a lot less petty crime requiring heroes than people think. I mean my kicking down doors and kicking mob/gang butts is cause I chase them down. They don't just sit around waiting for you."

Peter accepted the bottle of water from her. "So what..I babysit the neighborhood?"

"Yeah you babysit the neighborhood. And when I get back from putting down the Watchdogs we can root out some of the entrenched criminals here." Daisy tossed him a granola bar.

He blinked, and then his whole face lit up. "You're coming back?!"

"First I'm hitting up LA. If I'm right I'm needed there. But yeah, I'll come back." Daisy reached out and ruffled his hair. "SHIELD is my family, but I think you guys might be too. And if you're going to do the hero thing you're going to need me."

Peter cheered, raising his fist in the air. "YES!"

"I expect you to help old ladies with their groceries, walk people across streets, help with fender benders, get people to the hospital, the small potatoes. Get practice in. Learn navigating around the city with your webs, keep up your training. I'm sure Darcy would be happy to shoot paintballs at you." Daisy poked his nose. "Stay safe, keep learning. I'll let you hit up the big leagues when you're out of high school. Till then small potatoes or with me. Got it?"

"Got it!" He lunged forward hugging her. "Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you."

She hugged him right back.

Peter pulled back. "Does this mean you're going to show me how to shoot one of your dendrotoxin guns?"

"Don't push your luck." She cuffed him playfully. "Now, I do believe Ms Sanchez needs help taking her garbage out."

Peter was too excited to even pout. "Got it!"