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My name is Alyx. I'm not lost anymore, but I'm not found either.

I've broken a lot of things in the past.

I don't really know how long I've been in the Ever After, but it feels like a lifetime ago that I was just a dumb little kid throwing a tantrum in the Ever After, doing whatever I wanted because I thought the rules didn't apply to me.

The rest of the story is in the long past- it's something that I don't need to know or need to care about. All I need to know is that everything that I broke… I need to fix.

And there's a lot to fix. 

There were so many places that I trampled or almost outright destroyed with my carelessness as a kid, so I have plenty to make up for. It'll take a while but… somehow I don't think the Tree will make me work til I die.

After all… I walked into the tree once for a pep talk and a therapy session. I walked in again because I found my purpose along the way. At first, I thought to myself- I have to fix everything that I broke. As if that was the end of it.

After a while… I thought to myself… why not just fix broken things? I never really thought much about other people as a kid, and that's just… a shame. So… what if I just became selfless? A being that wants to help others?

So I did. 

And I did.

It took a long time, but I fixed everything I broke initially, helped the Ever After become a happier, more complete place- in its own special way.

Everything is ramshackle and fits together weird, but at the end of the day… as long as the Afterans can live up to their purpose, live and be happy where they are… I'm happy.

I even helped that shitty Curious Cat that nearly ruined me the first time.

He's still an asshole but… I figured out why he seemed so manipulative and deadset on going to the tree despite being unable to leave the Ever After. And so… I told him of what I knew of the outside world. I told him of what we believed of the gods, and I told him what the Blacksmith told me. And… he seemed happy. Content. And then… despondent.

After all- who could possibly react well when they're told that their one and only purpose in life is to fix broken things and then be left behind?

He wasn't trapped in the Ever After… the gods abandoned him just like they abandoned everyone else. Everything else was just… him lashing out, trying to find a way into Remnant so he could ask the gods why? Why was he made? What purpose did he serve when everyone else could Ascend but he couldn't? What reason was there to give him an endless curiosity and free will when everyone else was beholden to every little idiosyncrasy that made them so held to their purpose?

I think I helped him at some point, to figure out his own purpose- his own way. I haven't seen him in a while. 

I hope he didn't just run into the Jabberwalker… I may hate him a little for what he told me as a kid, but I don't want him to be dead. If he found the Jabberwalker- one of the many that seem to stalk the edges of the world- then… there might be nothing left of him.

I hate the Jabberwalker. More than anything, I hate it. 

I suppose that, in becoming something like an Afteran, I ended up gaining a few idiosyncrasies of my own. I can't stand broken things, hate it when there's nothing to fix. There's always something to fix, whether it's just a subtle arrangement of furniture or a broken deck, house repairs and empty larders… but regardless. I hate it when something is broken- I feel the need to fix it however it needs to be fixed. Emotional states, a loss of purpose, physical items, lack of inventory… the Jabberwalker is the most broken thing I've ever seen, and I have no idea how to fix it.

I'm pretty sure the only way to fix a Jabberwalker is to kill it, because there's no way to make them ascend either. It isn't like a normal Afteran, where they can choose to either ascend or keep going on their path long past the point that it becomes toxic to their mental wellbeing. They don't really have minds . They're like grimm, but… prototypes. Because they are. 

The Tree told me so.

They're… programmed.

To seek out anything that's lost its purpose. Where the soul isn't sure of itself anymore. Where the mental state has declined and negativity has taken root.

And then its purpose is to find that Afteran… and kill it.

I don't think the gods really wanted to make something that kills indiscriminately, where the victim can never ascend again, and their soul is so shredded and damaged that all that's left to do is to lay the poor bastard to rest and use what remains as the basis of something new. Not like an ascension, where there's still a trace of the old self in the new- but a complete reincarnation, where nothing of the original remains except for the most superficial resemblance. Maybe the same eye color, or a lock of hair. 

Whatever the case is, the Jabberwalker is a broken automaton, and I can't fix it. So I have to kill it.

My knife hasn't been enough for a while… I never wanted to take Jaune or Pyrrha's places as the defender of the Ever After, but I have to now. 

I need to keep the Afterans whole. I need to fix things. I need to kill the Jabberwalkers. I need to right what was wrong. I need to find that stupid cat that's been avoiding me for what feels like decades now, and make him see that he has the ability to choose his own purpose in life- to use his free will to let go and find some new thing for him to do.

Maybe he can't ascend the normal way… but he's not broken. He's just… hurt. Hurting. Damaged a little, bruised and banged up inside.

I've been tracking him for ages now, but he keeps vanishing…

Gods, I hope he's okay.

Fuck.

I haven't been able to use my knife against the Jabberwalkers for a while now. The first time I drove off one of the bastards, I got lucky. I flailed and I scratched it hard enough that it chose to retreat instead of kill me and Lewis- probably because I found my resolve to stand and fight and chose that as my purpose at that moment.

Well. I have a sword now.

A sword that once belonged to an ancestor of mine, if what the Blacksmith said was true. I don't know who they were, or what their name was, but it's a nice sword. Sharp, straight, cuts well and deep and it's easy enough to use with one hand and two hands. 

I've killed at least three Jabberwalkers with it, but there always seems to be more…

I wonder why. I wonder where they come from.

I've never been able to reach the edge of the Ever After to try and find where they come from- I don't think the Ever After wants me to go. I don't think the Tree wants me there- not yet.

Maybe it's right. Maybe I shouldn't go… but…

Mm.

Fuck it. 

I should go anyway.

Try and push my way through and find and kill those bastard things once and for all.

Maybe then I'll find that stupid cat.

I miss them…

Jaune, Nora, Pyrrha, Ren… Little, Juniper, Summer…

Even that fucking cat.

I'm not lost anymore, but I'm also alone… I don't think I like being alone. Not anymore.

…

I wonder if that Ephemeral Wolf still exists… I think I tried to talk to it once, tried to see what it was looking for… but I've never been able to find that acre again.

I wonder if it even still exists, or if it's been grown over by something else? I wonder what ever happened to that wolf… The way it whispered… the way it roamed, the way it tried to find itself among the brambles… that was how we got to the Tree in the first place. How I… figured out that I needed to change… and accept consequences. Accept that other people were real. 

I've always wanted to thank that weird wolf for showing me the way, even if it was probably just the insane ramblings of a thing that shouldn't have been there.

I-

Wait.

Something's coming through the brush.

There's a Jabberwalker on the way- hunting me, probably.

Well… can't have that now can we?

Let's see who's the real hunter and who's the real prey… come on!

COME AT ME UGLY! HERE I AM!

I AM ALYX POLENDINA, THE LADY KNIGHT OF THE EVER AFTER! 

I AM A PROTECTOR! 

I AM A HUNTRESS! 

AND I! 

SLAY! 

MONSTERS!