THE BREAK-UP

A week after my shity plan to wooe my one-sided love, I finally manage to forgive myself and handled all my emotions to concentrate in my studies. I just wanted to forget Piyush and move on, in my life. As I thought, he is not meant for me. I was completely lost that time. But my half part is with Piyush always. I couldn't control my myself to not think about him. But I always struggle.

I got in touch with my college mates to get the notes and start studying as my examination was near. I have stopped going to my Nani's home. And locked myself in my room to focus on my studies.

I wasn't receiving Zarah's call too. To make sure I was okay she visited my house. She scolded me for not picking up her call. She said she was worried about me. I was glad to have a friend like her. She shared the news of Piyush break-up with her girlfriend, as their relationship didn't work. Piyush was upset and sad and he too locked himself in his room . Rohit gave this information to Zarah. I was happy that day but at the same time I wanted to be far away from my feelings. And give my best in studies.

Examination started and I was so busy in college with all my assignment, pratical and exams. I couldn't manage time to meet Zarah and talk about Piyush. I was engaged with my book, I barely sleep at night. I was keeping myself so busy, that my feelings won't distract me from my studies.

A month later, I got the news of Piyush going back to his place forever. I was so disturbed at that moment, I couldn't control my tears. The moment I got the news I went to Nani's house to see Piyush but he had gone already. Zarah told me about Piyush's family problem and his sudden transfer to his place.

Have I been so mean towards him, that I didn't even asked him ,how he was. When he was suffering with all his problems. I cursed myself for not been there with him when he was in pain. I was blaming myself for the thing I shouldn't be sorry for. I just wanted to meet him for once and be there for him but I couldn't. Have I lost my love forever, my one-sided love with whom I wanted to spend my whole life with. I couldn't meet one last time and confess my love to him. How can I do this to myself! I was lost in my thoughts. Million of thoughts that was eating me up the whole time. I was craving for love, for Piyush's love. I was so heart broken that I have lost my love forever.

The person I loved the most had gone, my love story ended, he didn't even know that I loved him the most and cared about him , I am the losser that I didn't even try to win his heart, his soul. I just wasted my time in my stupid plans to make him feel special but ended up getting hurt by myself.

I wondered, when you are in love with someone, that person becomes your whole world. Love is truly magical but only if the other person is in love with you too. But if he or she is not, then you have to suffer for the worst.

Zarah always consoles me by saying that he was not meant for you, so he had gone but deep in my heart he was my only love, my pure love.One sided love is always pure and that belongs to you and no one has the right to take it from you. He will be forever in my heart. I could not forget him in my whole life . He will be mine forever.

My life without him has been broken, I just focused on my studies. I have changed alot, my happiness has completed lost from my life. The day Piyush had left my Nani's place, I never visited there. I wanted to overcome my feelings by keeping things normal. I always ask Zarah about Piyush well being but she always make me disappoint with her words. So I just gave up the hope of meeting with Piyush in my entire life.

I was so lonely in my life, I couldn't speak about it with anyone. Why God had done this to me. I only have one guy in my life to love and that he too left me in pain. I couldn't accept the situation which I was facing.

The time when it all started ---it struck me.

I wish I would have told Piyush that how much I loved him and made him mine, but being so low in confidence I lost him forever and ever. Why can't I be like the other's girl, who attract boys with their looks and confidence. I just hated myself. I knew that Piyush was out of my league, and yet I wanted to pursued and wooed him but I always failed.

Why can't my love story be, like most love stories woven beautifully with delicate threads of love, desire, intimacy, care, possessiveness, assurance, longing and unexpected events. I always imagine and dreamed about him. Why I didn't got my love. All this question came across my mind. With a blank mind, I hear the only noise in the room: the sound of stillness.

After tossing and turning in my lonely bed for a couple of hours, I chose to face the reality of my life and move on with my one sided feelings for my love.

Days passed by and I'm still in love with the same person I met a year before. I just learned toh live my life without my love, waiting for that one day when I and Piyush be together ,forever.

It takes a lot of strength to mend a broken heart being able to accept the situation why they are.