CONFESSIONS OF A BROKEN HEART

The sound of my vibrating phone wake me up from my beautiful dream. Where I and Piyush were on a date, holding each other's hand and we were about to kiss but the sound of my phone wake me up. From my beautiful dream I came back to the reality---- my apartment in Melbourne. I wondered if everyone left for the work except me. I had to reach work at 8 a.m., and the office was only a ten minute walk from the hotel. I picked up my shower kit and walked into the washroom. As soon as I took the shower I got ready for my office. I did a little makeup and groomed myself in a formal attire and carried a black hand bag to keep my stuffs in. I was ready for my new day in a new place.

I checked my phone, there was a message from Rajbir.

It can be just one day or day one . . . It is for you to decide. Meet me in the coffee shop if you are ready for day one-----Rajbir

I read and reread the note to make sense of it. I locked my room and left for the coffee shop. Rajbir sat alone in the corner of the fancy coffee shop on the ground floor of the building. He had chosen a table overlooking the street. He was staring very intently at something outside and did not notice my arrival. 'Good morning, sir,' I said to bring him back from wherever he had mentally escaped to.

'Good morning,' Adira, he said, turning his face towards me with a smile.I noticed an empty coffee cup on the table and wondered how early he must have woken up to have been dressed and out here.

The message meant what I thought it did, and if so, I was ready to make it day one of my life----provided we were talking about the same thing.

I took a seat opposite Rajbir and placed my bag on the table. 'I am a very private person, but I think you need to hear this story as it would help you in doing the right thing,' he said. I looked at him blankly, and he went on to tell me a sweet love story. 'So, there was this boy------happy and jovial. He was adored by his friends, boys as well as girls. He had a friend whom he had known as long as he'd know himself. She was his neighbour and classmate. They spent their evenings together playing and fighting as kids and discussing studies, exams and tuition classes as teenagers. The boy knew that he loved this girl very much,' he said after a pause, and removed an invisible piece of thread from his trousers, distracting me. Then he cleared his throat and continued, 'He believed that the girl also loved him, as much as he loved her if not more. But they never spoke about it. He never thought that there was any need to talk about what was as obvious as the rising and setting of the sun. They finished school and joined different colleges. Naturally, they met new people----the guy, because of his smooth talking and confidence, befriended girls easily. He knew how to woo them, and soon he had more than a few girlfriends. In short, he was an arsehole.' He laughed a sad laugh and looked away.

'And then?' I prompted him when he paused for too long.

'Then one day, this girl saw the boy with one of his many girlfriends. He had never told her how much he loved her. She assumed that he didn't and that she was in a one-sided love affair. She stopped talking to that boy. All his charm and tactics failed in front of the girl he loved. At her parents' persistence, she agreed to get married to an NRI who lived in the UK and went away from his life forever, all within three months.

'What happened to the boy, I asked.

' I couldn't help but ask about the fate of the boy who could not confess his feelings in time.

'He died a death every night thinking about her, recalling the time she'd let him hold her hands; the times they'd gazed together at the stars and wished one would fall so that they could wish for togetherness for eternity----without telling each other. The boy still stalks her Facebook account to get a glimpse of her. He wanted to get the moon for her once, and now he looks at the moon and tries to see her face in it.'

'How are you so sure that the girl loved the boy if she agreed to get married to someone else?' I had to ask this, as somewhere in my heart I knew that Rajbir was narrating his own tale of love.

'I know because she told me she did. Before she left, she wrote a note:

When I am gone, don't look for me. A part of me

will always be there with you . . .

'After receiving the note, I ran straight to her house. She was the bride to be and as expected was surrounded by her relatives and friends. We had been friends for so long that no one found it weird that I wanted to talk to her, alone. She didn't want to talk at first while I tried to make her say something. When there was a knock at the door to tell her that it was time to visit the jeweller, she broke down. Crying on my shoulders, she told me how much she loved me and how she thought I did not. I tried to convince her that I loved her. But there was not enough time, the wedding was in a week's time. Also, she told me that I was too late in confessing my feelings for her, and things were no longer at they once had been----she had decided to find love in the eyes and heart of the person her parents thought was fit to be her partner for life. 'It is not that simple any more," she told me, and I can't blame her. It was all my fault that I'd taken her love for granted.'

I was shocked listening to the confession of my manager, and I saw the handsome, intelligent Rajbir break down in front of me.

Suddenly, I felt as if someone had hit me hard, was I taking too long? Was I so worried about rejection that I was not even giving it a try? What if Piyush also get married? I instantly decided that I needed to give myself a chance. I did not know if he would say yes or no, but until I asked him, I would never find out. But I knew it would take me some time.

'Sir, I do not think that you and I have anything in common,' I told him sadly. I am shy sily girl and an introvert, while you are nothing like me.

'I know,' he said, and he told me something that I can never forget. His words were inspiring and I have been practising what he said ever since, not just with Piyush but with everything else in my life as well. Later, I noted down the words as I would remember them.

'The answer is "no" until you ask. When you ask,

you give "yes" a chance. There is a 50 per cent

probability that the odds will be in your favour.

Always give the other person a chance to choose

between a "yes" and a "no" for you, for your love;

Instead of choosing a "no" yourself. I am sure you

would have heard that saying that an "oops" is way

better than a "what if". I am a "what if"---what if I

had asked her out? What if I had told her about

my feelings? Do not be me. Do not be a "what if".

His words made sense, and I finally knew what I

had to do. 'The mind governs it all. If your mind

tells you that you can do it, trust me, nothing can

stop you.' His final advice gave me a lot to think

about. That day, during my break I found myself

making mental notes of what I loved the most

about Piyush-----the list was endless. That is where

I needed to start.