I'm Gonna Marry You

Crash

I encourage Kelly to take her shoes off before we step off the deck onto the lawn. I've never felt grass as soft and plush as this—no crabgrass or prickles. The lawn was specially cultivated, the real estate agent told me. Not only that, they have gardeners here every week to tend it, along with the trees and hedges rimming the entire property, mostly hiding the security fence—and the neighbors—from view.

Pinned to my side, Kelly's eyes have only gotten bigger, scanning back and forth sometimes meeting mine, then flitting away like a bird.

But she leaves me to run to the pool, kneel down and dip her hand into it. "Can we swim now?"

"If you want to."

Kelly leaps to her feet, sprints back to me and throws herself into my chest. I catch her and swing her up as she wraps her legs around my waist.

I focus on algebra.

"Crash." Our noses almost touch.

"Yeah?"

"I love you. And I love your house."

"Our house, babe."

She blinks.

Fuck. I hadn't meant to bring that up quite this soon. But she didn't miss the seriousness in my tone. "Only if you want to," I say hurriedly, encouraged by the fact that her legs are still wrapped securely over my hips. She hasn't made a move to get space yet. "I, uh, talked to Holly and said that I wanted you away from Dan. That I want you with me. And she said it's up to you. If you want to live here. With me. She'll help you. Legally."

"Crash, are you serious?"

"Yes."

"You want me to move in with you?"

"I want your name on the house. Kelly, I, um, I mean—" Shit, I'm losing my nerve. But I can't get this moment back. And I know Kelly. She's got hang-ups. Mostly because of Dan, but a little because of her mom too. She needs to understand I mean it. I won't hold anything back.

Maybe it's better not to have any warning. Maybe it's better to get it out of the way, just in case it goes badly. Then we've got time to recover.

I lower Kelly back to the grass, but don't let go of her hand. She's staring at me, stunned. But not scared yet, which is the confidence booster I need. Because this next part is nuts.

"You know I love you, right? I mean, for real?" Smooth, Crash. Real. Smooth.

"I love you, too."

Here we go. "Well, you know this recording contract, it's a big deal."

She snorts. "I'm aware."

Crash Happy was signed to Sony Records on a top tier contract. My advance covered this house and enough to keep me alive for the next couple of years, even if I never make another penny.

I stare at our clasped hands because I'm afraid to look at her face and see fear. Or worse.

She squeezes my hand. "Crash, what's wrong? Did they not like all the songs?"

"They love the songs," I risk a glance at her face.

"Then what is it? Are they firing one of you?" She hesitates. "Are they firing Tommy?"

I rake my hand through my hair, cursing myself. "Fuck, Kelly. No, it's nothing like that. It's a good thing. I think."

She visibly relaxes and her smile creeps back up. "Okay. Then what?"

Shaking like a pussy, I keep hold of Kelly's left hand and drop to one knee.

"What are you—" She cuts herself off, her free hand slapping over her mouth.

"Kel, I've loved you since I was fourteen years old. You believed in me—in us—when no one else did. I want you with me forever," I say, my voice shaking. I ease her left hand forward as I pull the ring out of my pocket and offer it to her. "Will you marry me? Be mine for real? Make this home with me. Tour with me. Never leave. Please?"

Her eyes well. For a second I'm sure she'll pull away from me and tell me I'm crazy—this is crazy. But it's the only way we can be together. And I want it.

"Cra-ash." He voice cracks. I squeeze her hand, afraid she'll flee.

"Kel, I know it's not what we talked about. But . . ."

"Yes!" she throws her arms over my shoulders and buries her face in my neck. "Yes! But nothing! Of course! I love you—oh, Crash!" Her shoulders shake and her back jumps with her sobs.

Letting out the breath that wouldn't go until I'd heard her answer, I pull her in tight, inhaling her vanilla sunshine scent, almost in tears myself I'm so weak for her.

She said yes!

We're doing this.

Fuck you, Dan.

I murmur love to her, soaking in her happy tears and trembling—comforted because it makes my own trembling less noticeable.

Kelly clings so tight I'm afraid she'll cut off my air supply. But then she pulls her head back. Tears track down her cheeks. But she's beaming, shaking her head and telling me I'm amazing. And for once, I believe her. She's made me feel like a badass motherfucker.

"I want to marry you, Crash. I can't think of anything I want more. I want to be here and be yours." She hesitates. I brush a strand of her blonde hair back off her face, waiting. I'll find answers to anything that keep her here with me. "But, how? How can we do it?"

Her chest doesn't move. She's afraid I can't make this happen.

I frame her face, my hands so much bigger than her delicate face. She's so little. Unable to resist, I trace her plump lower lip with my thumb and try not to think about what all this will mean for us. Probably tonight.

I clear my throat. "Holly knows I'm asking. She said if you want to—only if you really want to—she'll sign the papers. And if Dan tries to block it, she knows a lawyer who can help."

She bites that lip and I want to tug it out from under her teeth.

"This is real, Kel." A new tear trickles over her lashes and down her face. I wipe it away with my thumb. "I know it's nuts. And we're too young. But so much is happening. And I want you there."

And then, I wait to see if she'll have me . . .