Thick & Sexy

Sani, my platoon football team captain, called me one week before the passing out parade (pop) of the batch ahead of us. He said he was talking with some of our platoon guys, and they suggested a platoon 2 get-together down there in Lokoja.

It was a brilliant idea. We agreed to hold the get-together for our senior colleagues on the same day as the pop. He was supposed to handle the logistics while I handled the rest. I contacted Ms Enoh and informed her of my plans. I needed her to look up the phone numbers of our platoon members in the corpers bio-data book she keeps.

She did, and I bombarded them with text messages. Some of them called back to confirm the information I provided. It was scheduled to take place at the Nostalgia hotel in Lokoja. Sonia called me a few days later. She claimed that the Etisalat manager had warned her to inform her friends to stop blackmailing him. She inquired as to why I was still attempting to blackmail the guy for the second time. I informed her that I was not the one. Mike was clearly trying to pull some stunts. I told her I'd look into it and figure out what was wrong. When I told her about my platoon's reunion, she said she'd love to see me when I came down to Lokoja. I went into Mike's room and told him to let the Etisalat guy rest.

We had a successful operation that netted us N400,000. I wasn't interested in pursuing the balance. He said he will end it at once. I called Wangu and asked if she was planning on attending the get-together.

She said she wasn’t going to make it. 

I didn’t want to pressure her into coming. It’s been over 5 months since we left camp and I wasn’t expecting her to be so into me till now. Moreover, I had an arrangement with Ms Enoh. She asked me to book a room at the Nostalgia and she will join me later after the get-together.  

On the d-day, I travelled to lokoja and headed to etisalat office to check on Sonia. For the first time, she asked me to come into the office. She met me at the reception hall were we sat down and talked. She still looked different In my eyes, this time around, she looked better, more chubby, like she was adding a little weight.  

After minutes of talking, I saw the manager walk past the receptionist office. I froze when he looked at me like he recognized me from somewhere. I maintained my focus on Sonia as we talked, but I still saw him glance over his shoulder to look at me as he walked past. 

“Does he have any idea who was blackmailing him?” I asked Sonia as soon as he was out of sight. “No, he doesn’t. He said I arranged it, but I told him I had nothing to do with it. 

He was more interested in ensuring his wife did not see the picture than in finding out who was blackmailing him.” She informed me.  She then asked how much I made from the blackmail and I told her. 

“jeeeeeeezzzz!!!” she screamed. “And you didn’t give me a dime!” she said. 

“I will get you gala and lacasera.” I joked and she punched my shoulders. 

“but seriously, I didn’t know you were interested in the money.” I said to her. 

“I wasn’t, but I didn’t know you had collected that much.” She said. 

“I could pay some to your account, I have more than enough.” I informed her. 

“I have a better idea,” she informed me. “it involves a scam work that could pay we both a big amount of money.” 

“I want to hear it.” I said. 

“Do you know that the federal government pays any corper that gets married to a fellow corper huge amount of money.” She said almost in a whisper. 

I looked intently, trying so hard to figure out what she was driving at. “we could arrange a fake wedding, get all the papers worked out, then lay claim to the money and split it amongst us.” 

Wow! I thought about it for some seconds. It looked plausible, something we could easily do; scam the federal government with a fake marriage. “How much are we talking about here?” I asked. 

“Five hundred thousand naira.” She announced. 

“whaaaat!!!” I almost screamed. “I’m in!!!!”

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I proceeded to the stadium, venue of the passing out parade. It was a hot afternoon, so hot that I wondered if the ozone depletion started at Lokoja. 

The corpers passing out were lined up under the sun while they listened to speeches from officials from the state and nysc. The governor was there to deliver his speech. It reminded me of the camp closing ceremony during our last day at camp. 

I called Ms Enoh and she informed me she was also at the stadium. We met outside the stadium where she parked her car. We talked for some minutes. I asked about her affair with the deputy governor. 

She informed me that things were getting bad. The deputy governor was demanding too much of her, always trying to dictate her life and feels he owns her and she was her personal property. “Let's leave this place before his boys sees us together.” She said and we entered the car and drove off. 

She took me to a fancy restaurant where we ate and had more talks. She was really disturbed about the affair with the deputy governor. She said she was trying hard to end the affair but the deputy governor is being head strong. 

“I have someone else in my life now.” She said to me. “He works with Eco bank and he is serious about starting a relationship with me.” “That's great news.” I said to her. But the look on her face shows there was something amidst. 

“What's the problem?” I asked. “The deputy governor somehow heard about it and he is threatening me.” She said. I saw it coming. I had felt she knew the dangers of dating a man as powerful as the deputy governor. 

“What are you planning to do?” I asked her. 

“I wish I knew what to do.” She said. 

Finally, I tried to reassure her that things will work out fine. But how, and when is what I couldn't tell.

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Sani called me and informed me they were already at the Nostalgia. I joined them at the poolside of the hotel. It was nice seeing old familiar faces once more. 

They hailed on me as I came over to the spot they occupied and joined them. They were already ordering drinks and some meat. Some of them came along with dates, people they met on their ppa’s while some came alone.  “platoon commander!” I heard from behind as I looked behind and saw Ita. 

She was full of smiles as I tried to extend a greeting amidst the noise and cheers and laughter. She still looked good, and the spots on her face had reduced. I managed to look back once again, this time around, to those hairs that adorn her arms. 

They were still as thick and sexy as ever. I was sure she came alone. As the day proceeded, the hotel started to get filled up by corp members, mostly those that just passed out. 

They came to celebrate the successful completion of their one year service year. My platoon members took turns to recount experiences at their ppa’s so far. One after the other, each of them narrated how his or her service year has been going. 

Some of the stories were funny; some were hilarious, while some were plain unfortunate. We laughed as the stories were narrated. “you never tell us anything yet!” one of my platoon members announced, motioning towards me. “na true.” They echoed, all fixated at me, waiting to hear my own experiences. 

Where do I begin? I had so much to tell them, so many sexcapades and wonderful events to make them laugh and cheer. However, only one came to mind. "I had lived with HIV for three weeks."

The silence that descended on the scene was deafening. They were all staring at me, mouths agape. Some people near me attempted to adjust their seats. Some of the groups across our table drew closer to hear my story. "Do you mean you've got AIDS?" "One of them inquired, and I smiled.

I told them my story and I observed how amazed they where. "Although that hiv result wasn't mine, it belongs to someone else out there, and his life will never be the same after learning of his status," I went on.

"Guys, hiv is real, and you don't want to experience it firsthand," I concluded. For a few moments, everything was quiet. "How many poly chicks did you fvck after?" "Someone yelled, and they all burst out laughing. The laughter returned, and they requested more sex-capades.

I was perplexed as to how the same people who were sober during my speech were now requesting more sex-capades from me. Such is man's heart, and such was mine when I realized I wasn't infected with HIV. "If it doesn't kill you, it strengthens you."

They all cheered and laughed as I gisted them the story they had been waiting for, my encounter with the poly chicks. Soon after, we went to the bathroom, showered, and changed into our swim trunks.

I invited Ita to join me for the swim, but she declined, citing her menstrual cycle. So I dove into the 14-foot pool, diving straight down to the bottom to experience the unforgettable serenity of a pool's bottom. Nothing beats the feel of cool water on a hot afternoon, especially in Lokoja, the Sun City.

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