There's this crisp tension between us.
Like two people before an argument. I'm a bit over it in all honesty.
You didn't text me once last night. Ignored my text throughout the night. I didn't care much for it last night.- this morning however was a different story.
I just went to sleep because I was sure you did the same without a care.
The next morning you text me like nothing happened. It's strange.
But I can't put my finger on it.
It's tense.
It's like walking on eggshells all of a sudden.
Like a chore I very much do not enjoy.
Like we both know what going to happen. It's what I wanted I guess, but it's also kind of upsetting. Mostly because I still like you. But I definitely feel it less right now.
It's easing it's way out, but I know soon enough it'll be choking me.
If you've met someone else then can you just tell me straight? I want to cry my eyes out and never look back. I'd prefer it over having to break this off myself.
I'm back here again- I think I'm just fuelled on hunger and irritation now.
You're distant.
I don't understand why at all.
I'm beginning to dislike you. Tremendously. I'm feeling hurt before you've hurt me because I'm sure you will soon. I suppose it's my turn anyway.
I am not okay at all.
I feel miserable.
I can't tell if it's you or my bloody cycle.
Every time I stop distracting myself I feel like crying.
No I actually am crying…
This sucks.
Your last message just did it. I had the long cry. It won't be the last no doubt.
But I'm not so sure I ever want to speak with you again.
Well done.
This was written at three different intervals of the day. It’s no doubt interesting how I feel much calmer now, but also how different I felt at each time.
This most likely won’t be my last entry, but I hope this story is at its end. Only because once I’m off this period I’ll probably really regret everything I’ve done until now.