XI: Sun-Hee

A 13-year-old Sun-Hee stands in front of the very intimidating building of MY Entertainment sweating a puddle as she mentally prepares to enter, it was her first day as a trainee and she was understandably nervous. After her parents had passed, she had been deeply traumatised by the accident and even though the therapy helped she was not comfortable sharing her burdens with anyone but Dr Choi so music had been an outlet that allowed her to express herself. She had been actively attending ballet, dance workshops, acting and singing lessons with the intention of entering the entertainment business with her parents full support since she was 4 years old. Her mother had noticed that she became especially excited whenever they would watch idols perform so she had signed her up for all of these lessons and came to every one of her dance recitals and performances showing full support. It was a bittersweet moment to be at the beginning of her dream without her main source of support beside her but it felt gratifying to be so close to achieving a hard earned goal that she had set for herself.

Her training period lasted up until about 2 months before her 15th birthday, she was about to debut and she had so many conflicting emotions as she blankly stared at the Music Bank artist line up it was surreal to see her name printed among amazing groups and artists. Thinking back to her time as a trainee, she remembers how hard it was to adjust to her schedule at first, her schedule was so packed and it overwhelmed her quite a bit. A typical day was from 5 AM to 10 PM and included dance, vocal and acting lessons as well as strength and endurance training, all of this while she was attending school. It was tiring to do everything at once but her aunt and uncle were so supportive of her dream and encouraged her to her best, it gave her a great sense of comfort knowing that her family believed in her. She got through the most difficult parts of being a trainee, her first 3 months as a newbie in a dorm with 8 other girls was a strange experience, she now had to be responsible for her own belongings and had to manage her time and energy so that she could pass through the first evaluation period.

Six months down the line she was acing every single evaluation and had been recognised by her instructors and peers as an outstanding trainee. Time passed quickly and a full year had passed, she was now being groomed to debut as a solo idol and this was possibly the most rewarding experience that she had as an artist not only was she able to learn more about music from the studio engineers, lyricists and composers about music production but she was also able to explore the intricate stage choreography and even provide her input. On the day of her debut, standing backstage, the stage manager securing the mic pack to her. "You'll be fine, no need to be nervous", she thought she was hiding her nervousness quite well but she was shaking like a leaf the entire time. She just smiled nervously, looking at the stage before her it seemed so much bigger than when she had her rehearsal the previous day and there was so many people in the crowd if that if she didn't have her in-ear fitted already she would be sweating puddles due to the deafening cheers and fan chants. It was her turn to go on stage, her hands were so sweaty, she walked to her mark on stage and got into position, the music started and she waited for what felt like forever for her queue. Looking into the crowd briefly her eyes caught her family, they were here to support her but she felt a deep sense of hurt thinking about her parents she wished that they were still around. The music started and she was now officially an idol.

Her manager Hyun-Sik, who was in his early-twenties and had managed various girl group members for the company, he had an easy to get along with personality and helped her through every single difficulty she had faced as an artist. He had also been very supportive of her, claiming to be her biggest fan and encouraging her at every turn. She found solace in him and thought of him as a big brother. Her debut had been a success and she released her first EP with hopes of releasing an album later on, she was now planning her first fan sign. It was insane to think that she already had fans that liked her enough to want to meet her personally but they were willing to go through the raffle process and purchase multiples of her EP in order to have the chance to be invited. The fan sign took place at a small event hall with about 100 people in attendance, it was exhilarating to meet and talk for a short while with her fans. Their gifts and presence was so deeply moving and personal so she sincerely thanked them for their support and made sure to let them know how much they meant to her.

Following the success of her EP, she released an album and was now prepping for her first tour. She was set to do 15 shows in a span of about 4 months in arenas around Asia and was incredibly excited to be able to travel to other cities even though there was not much time set aside for her to be a tourist just thinking about it had her elated. Planning and preparation was an incredibly exhausting process, rehearsals took over her schedule in order to ensure that every single performance was perfect. Every aspect of the tour was meticulously planned right down to buttons on her stage outfits, as the time to leave came closer an insecurity suddenly plagued her, was she really ready to do this tour? What if she is not as popular outside of Korea? would she be able to handle low attendance at her concerts?. These concerns were quickly squashed by Hyun-Sik, "What exactly is going on in your head little sunshine?, I've watched you grow as an artist and you deserve this, you have worked so hard and you have sacrificed so much to be here. I am so proud of you and will always be by your side supporting you so have some confidence in your abilities you'll do great". Those words were were a great source comfort to her when and is what she heard every time she had doubts or felt unworthy.

She continued in an upwards trajectory, gaining a large following and prestige in the K-Pop industry. She was living her dream and was nearing ten years in the industry, her fans were among the best people that she had ever had the pleasure of meeting and her family were incredibly supportive of her , she had achieved most of the goals that she had set for herself as an artist.