Chapter 18- Suppressing the feelings

Charles came out of the clubhouse and headed to the parking area, carrying Abigail in his arms. She dropped her head upon his shoulder, coiling her arms around his neck. Tears were still dripping down, and his shirt on his shoulder was wet.

He opened the door of the car and put her in the passenger seat. Closing the door, he walked around and got into the car. He turned his head and looked at her. She was looking outside in a trance, keeping her head on the windshield. Traces of tears could be seen on her cheeks, and the blood trail to the corner of her lip was already dried up.

He sighed and looked down on his lap momentarily, only to look back at her again. He leaned towards her and reached out to stretch the seatbelt strap and fastened it carefully. She moved her eyes and looked at him. He also gazed at her. They were close enough to feel each other’s breath. Abigail’s heart was thumping vigorously. She recalled Rebecca’s words, and at that moment, she knew that she started liking him.

Charles’s heart was aching to see her red swollen cheeks. He reached out to wipe her tears with his thumb. Then he wiped the bloodstain off her face. He looked at her affectionately and caressed her cheek with his slender finger. He murmured, “I am sorry.”

“Why are you apologizing?” She whispered.

“I should have protected you. If I have been a little careful, nothing would have happened to you.” His voice was raucous. “It’s my responsibility to protect you, to take care of you. But I failed.” The pain in his eyes as well as in his tone didn’t go unnoticed by her.

“Who would have thought that Andy would try to rape me? It’s not your fault. Don’t blame yourself.” She put her palm on his cheek and looked at him earnestly.

He held her hand and placed a soft kiss on her palm. His action was instinctive, but it sent a shiver down her spine. She felt several knots inside her stomach, and her heartbeat elevated even more. She was blushing, but Charles was not aware of it as he was looking down at their hands. After a while, he murmured, “If anything happened to you, I would never have been able to forgive myself.” He slowly lifted his eyelids and gazed at her. The pain was still there in his eyes.

“Do you care about me so much?” She was staring at him with many emotions in her eyes.

“Yes, of course, I care about you.” He wanted to kiss her, but suddenly he realized that his feeling for her was overtaking him. He was losing his control. He couldn’t let her know that he loved her. He was scared, thinking that she wouldn’t keep in touch with him if she learned that he had developed feelings for her. He looked down again to control his impulse and said, “Uh… I mean… I care about you. You are my boss’s fiancee. If anything happened to you, the boss would punish me. It is my duty to take care of you.” He tried to sound indifferent, but only he knew how much pain he bored in his heart while saying those words.

His words were like a sharp blade that sliced her heart ruthlessly. She looked at him with disbelief. Her eyes turned glassy as fresh tears started accumulating. The concern she saw in his eyes just now was because she was his boss’s fiancee, not because he really cared for her. Did he just think of her as his boss’s fiancee? Didn’t he have any feelings for her? She wanted to ask him, but she remembered about his girlfriend.

‘Yeah… he has a girlfriend.’ She murmured, and her expression changed. Why would he feel anything for her? He already had someone in his heart. She pulled back her hand and said dejectedly, “Yeah… I know how loyal you are to Aidan.” She leaned over the seat and closed her eyes. She had no interest left in continuing the conversation.

Charles felt cold and empty in his palm as well as in his heart when she retracted her hand. He looked at her for a while with complex feelings in his heart. He wished if he could tell her how he felt for her. He pulled back his gaze and sighed in distress. Then he started the engine and drove directly to Mills mansion.

The journey was quiet. Abigail didn’t open her eyes. She remained seated silently, leaning over the seat, keeping her head on the headrest. Charles glanced at her from time to time and thought about starting the conversation several times, but every time he swallowed his words thinking that he would disturb her rest. After a long time, he couldn’t stay silent anymore and finally, said, “Let me take you to the hospital first.”

“No.” She denied it almost immediately. “I just want to go home.”

“But you should…”

“Please.”

Abigail didn’t allow him to finish speaking. She retained the same posture without opening her eyes. Charles glanced at her and only sighed deeply. He didn’t say anything further and concentrated on driving.

After an hour of drive, they reached the mansion, and only then did she open her eyes. Now that it was time to say goodbye, Abigail couldn’t stay calm at all. She didn’t want to part with him. She looked at him with tears in her eyes, and he also leveled the stare with her.

“Shall we go out now?” He asked her gently.

She could clearly see the care in his eyes. There was something more in his eyes other than concern and care. She kept staring at him as if she was trying to figure out what was hidden in his heart. Tears that were threatening to fall finally rolled down from her eyes.

Charles’s heart ached to see her crying again. He wanted to kiss the tears off but he gently wiped her tears off her face and asked, “Why are you crying now? You are at home. You are safe.”

She sniffed and looked down at her lap. Then she nodded and said, “Yes. You are right. I am safe now.” She lifted her eyelids and said again, “Thank you, Charles.” She mustered a smile and added, “Good night.” With that, she opened the door and got out of the car.

Just as she turned and walked towards the mansion, Charles came running to her and called, “Miss Mills…”

She turned around and looked at him curiously, waiting for him to continue speaking.

Charles gazed at her with his mouth slightly open. He didn’t know why he had stopped her and what he wanted to say to her. Like Abigail, he was also reluctant to part with her. When he saw her going away from him, he couldn’t control himself and came out of the car. He wanted to stay a little longer with her.

“Uh…” He was very nervous and couldn’t find the words to say it. Abigail’s eyes narrowed, and her eyebrows pulled together while staring at him with confusion.

Charles scratched his forehead and searched for the proper words in his mind. Just then, his eyes landed on his jacket that she was wearing. He smiled awkwardly and said, pointing his finger at the jacket, “That jacket… I mean… No… You don’t have to give it back right now. You can return it any time… later…”

‘Shit… Charles, you idiot.’ He cursed under his breath. His hands formed tight balls on his sides, and he looked at her with a stupid smile on his face.

Abigail was stunned, and her jaw dropped. She felt hopeless. Anger began to build up inside her to see him smiling. She exclaimed, “Seriously? You stopped me to… to… say this.” She blinked a few times and peered at him skeptically. She let out a bitter chuckle and looked away from him briefly, only to look back at him. She said, “I will wash it and iron it, and then I will return it to you. Satisfied?”

Charles knew he just screwed up the things by mentioning the jacket. He licked his lips and said, “No… I… I didn’t mean that. You don’t have to do that. I can wash it and iron it as well.”

“You know what, you are hopeless. Good night, Mr. Shaw.”

Before Charles could say the last sentence properly, Abigail snapped and turned to leave. Charles’s mouth remained open, and he was about to call her, which is when she turned back frantically and exclaimed, “And don’t call me Miss Mills. It sounds like I am growing old. Call me Abigail.” She turned around and walked inside the mansion with long strides.

Charles was taken aback and only stared at her departing figure dumbly. His mouth was still opened. When she disappeared from his line of sight, only then did he regain his senses and closed his mouth. The corner of his lips curled up involuntarily, and he murmured, “Abigail.” His mood was light now, and a faint smile surfaced on his face. He got in the car and drove away from there.

Abigail encountered her father when she entered the mansion. He was reading a book, sitting on the couch in the lounge.

Robert Mills’s entire body went numb to see her swollen red face, smeared makeup, and messy hair. He threw the book down, got up from the couch, and rushed to her. He cupped her face and looked at her carefully. He asked frantically, “Pumpkin, what happened to you? Who did this?”

Tears that dried up a few minutes ago again welled up and seeped through her eyes. She leaned forward on her father, keeping her head on his chest. Robert Mills hugged her and patted her head. Abigail sobbed and started explaining slowly, “It’s Andy. He tried to rape me, and if Charles didn’t come at the right time, I can’t even imagine what would have happened to me.” Her throat constricted, and she couldn’t speak further. She burst into tears, clasping the shirt around his chest.