Paranoia of a Father

Chapter-1

March, Year 65.

Minato's House, Konoha, Land of Fire.

-Minato Namikaze-

I am going to become a father.

I am very happy because of that. I have achieved all my dreams, becoming Hokage, marrying Kushina, and now having a family. I am really happy that I didn't die in the war and lived this long to see myself becoming something more than just a normal shinobi with no background. And for that, I am really thankful to everyone who supported me. Jiraiya-sensei, Hiruzen-sama, and mainly the love of my life and my wife, Kushina.

But the prospect of becoming a father is scary, what if I don't become a good father? What if my son or daughter hates me? What if I die before they are even born?

Unklowingly I released my chakra a bit, making all the stuff in our living room fly, but before they could fall down I caught them all. Thanking god that I wouldn't be scolded by an emotionally unstable Kushina again.

This though is weighing me down along with the Hokage stuff I am really tired nowadays. Fuck me for thinking being the Hokage was simple, no wonder Hiruzen-sama smoked. Even using a shadow clone doesn't reduce the stress, it's rather the opposite it just increases it as it uses the Yin attribute of chakra instead of other attributes which I have plenty of.

The chances of war are astronomically low since the other villages are still recovering from their previous losses. But then why do I have this bad feeling? It feels like I will lose something too precious soon. Is this some kind of precognition? I hate this feeling.

Why am I scared? I am strong. I am confident I can beat anyone and keep Kushina safe.

But what if I couldn't?

What will I do then?

What will my unborn child say if he/she sees me in this state, losing Kushina because of arrogance?

Hate?

Contempt?

Pity?

Nothing will matter anymore if I can't even keep my own wife safe.

"Haaah…"

What am I thinking? Is this how Shikaku and others felt? No wonder they seemed more serious than usual. I think I should become further strong to make sure this feeling is gone.

"Minato! I'm home! Come look at the dresses I bought for the baby!"

It's sooner than I expected, I thought it would take a few more hours for her to return from shopping for the baby.

"You're sooner than I expected"

"I know right? But Mikoto said she had work so we ended it sooner. But look what I bought!"

I should thank Mikoto later.

I smiled while looking at her happily showing me all the dresses she bought. I paid no mind to the price since it's her happiness that matters, but the real reason is that I don't want to be depressed even further after looking at the price tag.

"So do you like it?"

"Yes. It's your pick after all"

"I knew you would like it!" She exclaimed while jumping at me for a big hug.

"Hey be careful!" I softly caught her and spun once to reduce the inertia.

"Don't be such an ass, I am not made of glass you know!" She just hugged me a little dejected. Probably a little sad because of me spoiling her enthusiasm.

"Sorry," I hugged her back tightly. If there is one thing that I have learned after being a married man with a pregnant wife is that I am never right if she says I am wrong and that I can never win an argument and if in the rare case, I did, I should just seek the embrace of the couch for the night.

"Fine" She rested her head on my chest.

Yeah definitely not gonna fuck up thinking I am strong enough.

-The Next Day-

I stirred opened my eyes walking up from my sleep. I was happy to see the sleeping face of Kushina directly in front of my face, she looked cute with the drool flowing down her mouth. I slowly got up, being extra careful to not wake her up.

I stood up and stretched and flexed my muscles, I am kinda of proud of them. They are the results of my lifelong efforts.

I then went to the bathroom to have a bath and brush my teeth. I then wore my casual set of clothes while checking if my Hokage outfit was ready. I then put on an apron to prepare the breakfast.

After preparing the breakfast I went back to our bedroom to wake Kushina up.

"Honey, Breakfast is ready" I slowly shook her to wake her up.

"Yawn… Minato just five more minutes please…"

Damn no matter how many times I was attacked by it, her cute sleepy voice is still my weakness.

"Fine"

I just stood there for exactly five minutes and woke her up.

"Kushina, now wake up. Breakfast is ready." I shook her up.

"Yawn…" She gently sat up while scratching her hair and wiping her drool off.

"Hmph" She then just stared at me with an angry look.

Oh god is this another mood swing?

She leaped on top of me and bit my shoulder, and it was not a simple love bite. It was painful.

"Ouch! Ouch! Stop it hurts!" I gently pried her off.

But she was still hanging in the air holding my neck. Seeing that she didn't want to go down I bent down to lift her up in a princess carry. The doctor said this is the best position to carry a pregnant woman.

She just avoided to look me in the eye and hid her face in my neck.

"Can I ask why did you bite me?"

I asked her to know what wrong thing I committed.

"I had a bad dream"

.

.

.

Yep, definitely my fault.

__________________________________

March, Year 65

Training Ground-82, Konoha.

I have decided, I should increase my power to not feel helpless and be depressed again. I have already sent a shadow clone to take care of the Hokage stuff but unlike before this time I sent a Lightning Clone. I still feel stupid for not thinking about this before, Elemental Clones do not have the tendency to send back their memories to the original. Meaning they are perfect for me to practice in the meantime and not be worried about the backlash. But unlike shadow clones, they need chakra constantly to be active.

So what should I start with? Speed? I have Flying Raijin. Defence? I have Flying Raijin for big attacks and can use some jutsus for small attacks but what about close-range fights? Like Raikage A, I would have definitely broken my bones if he even hit me once. Wait speaking of Raikage… he had a lighting armour, right? I'll just copy it, It seemed easy enough.

I reinforced my whole body with a thin layer of chakra so that I am not electrocuted by my own lightning but allowed a small amount since it would increase my processing power and enhance my senses by increasing the speed of my nerves. I then slowly increase my output to maintain this state. Right now I am using 10 percent of my output to cover my body while 40 percent is converted to lightning around my body. This ratio should be enough. I instantly doubled both outputs to the maximum. I can hear the sound of ground cracking below my feet and the rumbling of the lightning.

I open my eyes. The world is much quieter and slower than before. I feel my speed a lot cause of the high resistance I feel while moving. I look at myself to see my whole body covered with blue lightning. Thank god I raised a barrier around or else the whole village will be on alert thinking I am in some fight.

I place my hand over the special pack in my pouch. This pack is special because it was a gift from Kushina for finally achieving my dream and it can summon my special kunai from storage in our house so that I will never have to worry about wasting Kunais again.

Having a wife who is the grandmaster at sealing arts is definitely the best.

I summon the kunai and throw it at the ground very slowly since I don't know even my own speed. After it almost fully inserted itself into the ground I turn back and teleport above it.

And as I guessed I can see my own afterimage in front of me slowly disappearing.

Fuck I am fast!

But I should keep this as my trump card. I haven't even used this mode for five minutes and nearly 27 percent of my chakra is depleted. But with this, I am no longer weak in the Attack, Speed, and Defence departments.

Now I just have to increase my chakra capacity but I don't think there is any conventional way for it except becoming a jinchuriki. So I'll have to go the sage route.

Gamabunta said he'll pick me up in the afternoon so I'll just experiment until then.

I deactivated my new 'Killer blue Lightning of Flash god mode' a name I am very proud of and checked the time.

I was surprised to see even 30 seconds hadn't passed but I felt like five minutes had passed. So I am fast enough so that 1 second feels like 10? Heh, now I am certainly the fastest shinobi to exist. How stupid of me to not think of copying that move before.

Sigh if I did, maybe Rin and Obito wouldn't be dead.

No use in thinking about the past. I should go check on Kakashi again, he has become too depressed and is avoiding others.

Fuck what a useless sensei I have been.

I should have been there for them. Saved them. Yet where I was? Nearly 40 kilometers away from them. Leaving them to fight alone.

I won't let that happen again, I should be there for Kakashi.

Hmm… I should assign him to protect Kushina. In that way, Kushina will be safe and her enthusiasm will help Kakashi's depression.

Sigh

Till now I am just thinking of making others help him without directly helping.

I know why I do it too.

Shame.

I am ashamed to look at his eyes. Ashamed of my incompetence as a sensei. Ashamed that he is like that because he blames himself while the fault lies on me.

And scared that I will see hate while he looks at me.

Subconsciously I released my chakra making gusts of wind.

Sigh.

Who said after pregnancy only women suffer mood swings. I do too, But just depression.

I should focus on my current aim. To increase my power. Now that I have the chakra mode, I should do something that I have pushed off for a long time.

Applying my nature transformation to Rasengan. I've pushed it off for a long time to focus on developing my Flying Raijin but I shouldn't now.

It is probably gonna take thousands of trials and errors to figure out the perfect ratio for it but I am a patient man with a lot of time.

________________________________________________

-Kushina Namikaze nee Uzumaki-

I wonder if Minato is thinking about me right now.

I am sure he is.

I am currently stitching a dress for the baby, no matter how many dresses I bought I just can't help but to make one myself. Maybe this is how Mikoto felt too.

Heheh, During pregnancy Minato has become a total gentleman. He is cooking, cleaning, washing the dishes and even walking me up. If this is the treatment I will receive after becoming pregnant I don't mind having more children after all, I should repopulate the Uzumaki clan.

Haah… Kids… It reminds me of Minato's students. Rin, Obito, and Kakashi. I still feel sad about them. The world is cruel but I feel like it was more cruel to them, especially Kakashi. He is now just a husk of his former self. I heard he is avoiding all human contact and is just bundled inside his room all day and completing the bare minimum of required missions.

"Sigh… That kid … Doesn't he know we are here for him."

I know Minato has not been in his best of moods ever since I said I was pregnant. At first, I thought of something bad but later figured out he was just confused. I am sure he will overcome it, just like how he does in bed.

*Slap*

Stupid Kushina, you are going to become a mother, after months of practice you have finally stopped using the verbal tick, why can't you stop your dirty mind?

Huh? Is this Kakashi's chakra signature? What is he doing here?

Ahh! I see Minato assigned him as a guard for me. He probably guessed I would talk with Kakashi and try to cheer him up. As expected of my husband.

"Hey Kakashi come here"

I called out but he doesn't seem like coming.

"If you don't come here I'll come there!"

"Fine"

… Just how dead his voice has become, he seems tired and dead on the inside.

He appears in front of me. He has grown up a lot since the last time I've seen him. But the dark circles under his eyes are painful to watch.

The things I wanted to say after seeing him didn't come out of my mouth, I just wanted to cheer him up so I just went near him and hugged him tightly.

"I'm sorry" I just muttered to him.