[XXXVIII] - Drowning Mercury

But I couldn't wait like this, having an exposed body.

Just as the person came inside, I swiftly put on a coat I've had in the reach of my hand. It was the fastest idea that came to my mind. I've wanted to cover myself with anything.

And I stood there without even wearing any pants.

Why people can't knock and wait for the response? Instead, they are boorishly walking in!

Before I could put on anything else, tying the belt from the coat in the last seconds, a silver-haired person marched inside of my room, holding something steamy in his hands.

But as he walked into my room, his neutral face grimaced in surprise. Seeing me in the state I was, standing, finishing wearing only a coat, his eyes opened widely in embarrassment. The things he was holding were almost dropped down.

"Umm… I-I didn't know you were here." — His voice sounded anxious and surprised.

I didn't even have to respond for him to know my feelings. A twisted expression appeared on my face, as the person walking inside was no one other than the same Silen who abandoned me earlier in the middle of a dark corridor.

Coming into my room without even knocking and announcing his arrival, leaving me alone before, what is he even thinking? He could almost see me naked too.

This man is getting on my nerves…

"Did no one learn you to knock before entering someone's room!?" — I asked him bluntly, expressing my annoyance towards him.

"I thought you didn't come here yet…" — He tried to explain himself, but in vain.

"Well, because you left me there alone, trying to make me get lost!? Nice try, but thanks to the actually considerable people who don't think only of themselves, I managed to get here!"

"Well… I thought…"

"Get out. I feel uncomfortable with you here."

My words were filled with cruelty and harshness.

"Will you allow me to explain myse-

"GET OUT!"

When I screamed these last words out, his expression dropped. From an embarrassed one into an entirely different one. A mad and griefful one.

"If you want to neglect the truth, then it's not my problem, but yours."

W-what truth?! What bullshit is he talking about? I just want a stranger to get out of my room.

His face expressed contempt, with his eyebrows frowned, he was looking at me with a disgust.

His words and reactions were like a sword to my heart.

I don't want to always feel like a problem. I'm not the problem. I try to blend with the background, not to bring any unnecessary attention. And he will tell me I am the problem? I-I…

I can't accept that.

For the one time in my life I wanted to pour it all outside, I wanted someone to know what it feels like being on the other side, a receiver of one's actions and words. He has hurt me a few times, and I've wanted to let him know about it. If no one speaks about the real issue, then who will?

"I'm not the problem, you are! You constantly have an issue. If not with me, it's with the others. You're always bullying the weak, making everyone feel like they aren't worth of even living. Leaving me be without saying anything, you know how scared I was, standing in the middle of nothingness, a place I don't know? You're constantly trying to beat people like an aggressive dog. It's because you're no powerful nor influential for anyone to consider you a worthy person. Making me trip back then in the alleyway, attempting to pierce me and my friend with a bullet, playing mind games with me, who do you think you are?! Have you ever considered how others are affected by your selfish behaviors?? What image of yourself do you want to create for others? A cruel villain?"

The words were flying out of my lungs like bullets from a machine gun. They've flooded the room, being directed into the very person standing before me.

But his response was blunt.

"And you're saying all of that after knowing me barely for a few days?"

"…"

"You know nothing about me."

His pathetic eyes pierced me thoroughly, not leaving a place for further disdain. I've reached my limits. I've had enough.

"I know you by what you're showing on the outside. It's enough for me. People make assumptions and judge someone based on what they show to the world. I'm not going to be the one who'll entangle the enigma you are and get to know "you". So don't try to act so mysterious, no one cares. I don't care."

Silence fell in between us, as we stood, fighting with our glares and expressions.

Since I've known him, and him partially being right because I haven't known him long, I've already got a solid opinion on him. Ruthless, abusive, egoistic. I would never want to work with someone like him, not even thinking about staying in the same room.

I've had enough of meeting my enemies. I just want peace.

"…Who would have thought that just from going to buy some food there would be such a drama, hahaha…"

I didn't notice when his expression changed. Close your eyes for a millisecond, and the reality will shift completely. I didn't have a slightest idea about what he was talking, yet the topic of the potential food interested me.

"… What food?"

He raised up the steaming items he was holding, his hands being red from the heat that was coming from it.

"Huh?" — I've let out a surprised gasp.

"If you let me finish, You would have known I left you to get some food…"

What?

"I had in mind that you haven't eaten In a long time, so I thought why not to cheer you up by bringing and leaving some tasty goods? You looked so depressed back in the corridor."

I couldn't understand the meaning of his words. Not yet.

So… Did he leave me because he went to get some food? And even some for… Me?

My face showered with a red hue, with a hollow feeling growing inside of me.

"You feel stupid now, don't you? Well, you deserve it for your cruel honesty."

I didn't answer, nor move, I just glared at the floor before him.

I really felt idiotic. I was an idiot.

He went up next to me, and nonchalantly threw the hot package on my bed, as if he didn't care anymore at all. No regret nor satisfaction.

Looking around my new empty room, Silen was about to exit the room, when suddenly, his searching gaze landed on an item by my desk.

A hanged photo, with its corner holding behind the shelf. Contrasting with the empty walls, It wasn't such a hard job to notice it. An object out of the order.

"What's that?"

His face sparked with astonishment and interest.

He tried to quickly come up to the desk, to reach for the item, expecting me not to react.

However, he wasn't swift enough.

In the last moment, I stood between the desk and him, blocking his path. Glaring at him with a guarding gaze, I've exclaimed:

"Nothing interesting for you. This is not your room."

"…"

His lost gaze became cloudy and staggered.

Our eyes were on the same level, as we were practically the same height.

He glared deeply into my eyes, with a piercing gaze which wanted to know what is this all about.

But in a blink of an eye, his hand reached behind me, to the wall where the picture was hanged. Such an unexpected speed, He grabbed it before I could react in any way. Turning around, backwards to me, he tried to take a closer look at the photo.

I couldn't allow him to do that.

Trespassing my private space like that, I wanted to avoid this sickening man to have a grasp on the picture I've held so close. The only thing that was left of my past life.

I clenched my teeth strongly. His mistake was that he didn't run away with it. I was ready to fight like an animal.

I ignored my state and the fact I was only wearing a coat. I didn't care for a physical contact in order to have back my most precious possession right now.

I caught him from the back, and embraced closely, reaching with my hands towards his, in which he held the photo. I was afraid that this fight would've brought damage to it, so I didn't use my full strength.

We struggled left and right, me trying to get the picture back without tearing it apart, and him trying to focus on the details.

"It's not yours!!! Give it back!!!" — I loudly yelled into his ears, trying to make him deafen.

He groaned, attempting to throw me off him, but I didn't let him go easily.

After half a minute of a fight like this, suddenly, I was pushed backwards. His force wanted to make me release him by any means. But I won't let my prey so easily.

I would've definitely kept myself on my feet, if not an object right behind my legs, which made me lose my balance.

Still holding Silen tightly, I tried to reduce the damage I'd get from falling on my back. Trying to use the moment of his inertness, I turned around, while we both fell to the ground. Before our bodies hit the floor, I saw the photo fly into the air, being dropped by him, probably from the shock.

His body protected me from hitting the ground with an impact, it took all of the force inside instead.

Finally, not having to grapple with him, my body suddenly felt worn out and without any strength. The pain made me lose the force with which I was supporting myself, and caused me to weigh him down to the floor…

His body, just right under mine…

I felt the warmness of his, spreading though my clothes and skin.

Only after a while I realized, after his gaze glared at me immensely.

…

Lying on him was the most embarrassing thing I've ever felt.

Just right below my head, a pale face with messy silver hair all over it. I've never looked at it from such a close distance.

A rectangle shaped face, with a sharp jawline, his cheekbones were modeling his face like a sculpture. Heart shaped, vibrant lips slightly opened, as if from the shock of the moment. His nose was just right, as if an artificially created ideal model. His always hooded eyes, surrounded by silver shining eyelashes, were now opened widely, with its gray color showing me how lost in thoughts is Silen now. Eyebrows raised, his expression for once appeared like a real one. Not the one of an actor, but one of a spectator.

An expression of disbelief and confusion.

…

When I realized in what situation we were in, my whole body jolted, like if being struck by lighting. I tried to push myself away from him.

But something blocked me from going away. A strong arm grasped my waist and pulled me towards him.

My body unwillingly weighed down onto this man's chest. My head would also meet the same fate, if I didn't support my upper body with my hands, which landed now just right above his shoulders.

His grip was getting closer, making me fight with this force. I didn't want to give up and fall on him with my entirety.

My body was surrounded with inclination and unknown weakness. It made me panic, this situation wasn't comfortable.

I looked at his face, to see what was happening. But only a faint smirk grew wider, with his eyes telling me everything.

"Where you're going? You weren't afraid of embracing me a minute ago, and now you're against it?" — His voice seemed to keep the storming laughter in.

He was… enjoying it?

"Leave me alone, you SICKO!!"

I tried to get away from his succumbing grip, which was slowly traveling up my back, making me lose my strength to support.

I did once fight him, and was stronger by a lot. So, why is he resisting my strength now? Why can't I break the force of this man…?

I wailed under his firm grasp. Trying now to target his face with my hands, it only got worse.

"Why are you resisting?" — A soft smile appeared on his face, as he whispered.

He took one of his arms from my back, and moved it all the way up to my head.

His pale fingers swirled around my hair, and gently followed my jawline down to my chin. A strange sensation filled my body.

This is where I knew he crossed the line.

A new feeling was born in me. It was different from all the fears I've ever felt. Indescribable. Swallowing all of your insides. Clenching its fist on your heart.

I stopped struggling, my face changed into a stone one.

How dares he.

His eyes noticed the aversion.

They've also changed.

It was fear foo.

Before he could instinctively let me go, my hand went all up to his overgrown silver hair. I grabbed them tightly, feeling the skin on his head tense.

"Don't disregard me."

Something in me emerged, a new power I haven't felt before. The energy started to fill my cells, and I couldn't hold it anymore.

I robustly nailed his head to the ground, making his innocent-looking face grimace in pain. He yelled as I pulled his hair up and up.

His hair was so soft, feeling like the finest silk. I almost didn't feel it. Maybe that's what made me use more force than I initially wanted.

Kneeling above his body, I felt like pulling his hair from the head, moving it right and left. His hands released me entirely, now gripping on my arms to stop me.

But I didn't want to.

I want to learn him his lesson.

It felt like if something possessed me at this very right moment.

"AAAAAGH!"

"You want me to stop?!" — I've asked the man wailing below me. His face melting in pain actually made me rest with ease. I released my gathered grief. He deserves it.

I didn't feel anything else apart from satisfaction from tormenting the bully.

A shallow feeling was being blocked inside of my mind. Perhaps that's what was left of my guilt over harming someone like this. Now I ignored all of its begging.

And I don't know how far would have it gone, if not the sounds of dapper steps entering the room.

"That's not appropriate. Stop at once." — A low voice came to both of our ears.

The amount of disdain in it, it made us both petrify in place.