[XLV] — Between Heaven and Earth

"Your body signals, I've been measuring them the whole time you were there. But for a vague moment, the upper body of yours…

…It wasn't physically anymore in our world."

My heart started beating faster and faster. Its pounding sounds were so loud it filled my ears to the brims.

What… Does that mean?

My stare was piercing his eyes. He didn't dare to look at me anymore, as if the weight of my glare was too heavy to bear.

"It's the truth I wasn't supposed to tell, the only thing being stormed in my mind right now… I…" — His eyes were dazing into the grayness of the walls. — "…The old man doesn't realize one thing. That if you yourself don't know it, the answer won't come itself. No one can tell us what happened there, except from you. Even if you don't remember anything… Perhaps there could be… One small detail… That could explain this. Help us both understand. And this is an important matter. How can one disappear and come back in a matter of a second?…"

His crossed brows expressed a sign of deep wonder.

"The old man… Why would he keep something like that away… from me!?" — I… My mind was a mess right now.

"…Probably not to overweight you with another issue… You're already a person with numerous thoughts in their mind… right?" — He threw me a soft glare, with a pitying meaning.

This all… Is it an another act?

Does he speak these words only to fool me once more?

I… Can I even trust anyone anymore?

"Sometimes, knowing some things just makes our life's difficult. We overthink too much. But letting others decide if knowing them is right or not…" — His personal opinion was being put against the upsides and the downsides of the facts.

"This… I…"

Is it a right thing to know?

That I… Wasn't on this world anymore?

What consequences… Could this have…

"So. Do you remember anything?" — His stare changed into an inquisitive one.

I…

The vague memory of a vision. It's the only thing left in my mind. But should I tell him about it? Will it bring any help, or just make me appear like a fool, for mistaking dreams with reality?

I dazed off, not saying anything. It seems he noticed I'm deeply thinking about something.

Neumiro is a clever man, a doctor at all. The longer I keep silence, the more proof of me remembering something will he have. And then, another thing will be linking me to these people, and a place I want to escape from as soon as possible.

Let's end this quickly. Ask him the most I can, and flee through the maze of the corridors surrounding me. It will be a hard task, but what keeps me here anyways?

Lies?

Ah… I remembered about the photo hanged behind the shelf. I guess I have to go and retrieve it before running away.

All of the people I met… So unimportant.

Where am I going to stay anyways?

Maybe my old place has been abandoned, not being supervised by the officers anymore?

I need to check all the possibilities. Sleeping on the streets… Anyone can get me. Or maybe, I can get myself into the canals we fled through with Aura?

The more ideas that got into my head, the more I just wanted to stand and leave this room, ignoring everyone. But to trigger the chain reaction, a small steps have to initiate it.

"I seem to… Remember faint images in my head…" — Even if he doesn't believe me, I speak the honest truth.

His eyes seemed to flicker with enthusiasm.

"What? What do you remember?"

"You, doctor." — My voice was emotionless. My nerves dissolved as I set up a plan in my mind.

"Huh?" — He held in his breath, with his pale face getting even more white. — "…Me? But… How?"

"I recall seeing your pale face in the darkness. Contrasting with the black… Red lights were wandering in the air, mixing with the blue aura. You were terrified." — The more I talked, the more his face seemed to change into the one I saw in my dream. — "But, I remember… Calling your name out. And then, It all dropped. You changed into a marble sculpture, with a shallow emotion. Just like…"

As I was describing my memory to him, everything happened just the same as I was telling.

His face turned into a stone carving, with no sign of humanity at all. As if this man was only an image, a creation, not a being with a beating heart at all. An illusion. The sense of Déjà vu kicked in, making my lips wobble at the end.

Why… Why does this side of him which I haven't seen in reality… Show now…

It's terrifying.

Was this a stupid… nightmare at all?

Seeing my face grow anxious, he came to his senses. His appearance changed in a blink of an eye, to the same old, soft-looking doctor. But in his eyes… pale glare…

I could sense an incoming storm.

"Anything… Else?"

At this point, would the same thing happen, if I told him? Would I feel like falling into the abyss, pulling someone down with me?

This sounded stupid. I'm sure I exist in a reality right now… Yet…

I clenched my right hand in a fist. It was shaking a little. I shifted my gaze to it.

"No. I don't." — My answer was blunt.

Feeling his penetrating glare on my skin, I didn't dare to say anything more.

Personal selfishness… Was devouring my whole mind right now. I bit my lip, trying to hold in the suffocating urge to tell some bad words. Because at the end, I don't know yet whether I should trust him, or not. His weird actions, they tell it all. Even if he acts like he is concerned for me, it is only because he sees me like a tool.

"Ah… If there is nothing more you remember, then… Take care of yourself." — He slackingly stood up from the chair near my bed, and threw me a stare from above. — "I need to go back to work. If anything happens to come back to your mind, or if your state gets worse somehow, don't hesitate to find me."

Dr. Neumiro in a second seemed to want to get away from me. His intentions shifted like a light switch, and as he swiftly proceeded to approach the door.

I caught him by his white sleeve at the last moment.

As I rapidly moved my body, a burning sensation surrounded my waist like a belt. A quiet groan came of my mouth, which seemed to have alarmed the doctor.

He grabbed my arm and supported me, asking worryingly:

"Is everything alright? Does it hurt anywhere?" — His soft voice turned into a panicking one.

"Agh… My waist… I feel like… A burning thread is tightening around it…" — As I got up, the pain appeared out of nowhere.

Without me caring whether a man is looking or not, I pulled up my shirt, and to my sight, a horrific thing appeared.

Going all around the middle of my body, was a line. Surrounding my stomach like a scarlet lightning bolt, it pulsed rhythmically, bringing in new waves of pain. Seeing it as it was, I was afraid to touch it…

Is it a proof of my body… Being split apart?!

If it really happened… How…

How am I still alive? How? How?!

My hands started to tremble rapaciously. I was so easily… Set in for a thing that made my two halves of the body get detached… Ah… Why?

Why am I still alive?

Who directs the fate?

At droplets of tears unconsciously started to run down my face, he couldn't seem to ignore me longer.

"Please, bear with it. A few days, and the pain will fade away. I can't do anything about it with my medicine. It's something your body has to deal with on its own."

His words seemed to describe both dimensions of the pain. The one of the body, and the one of the mind.

Isn't the time the one and only true universal medicine?

Maybe it will, as he said, heal my worries and troubles.

But should I wait for the problems to unsolve themselves… To let someone deal with them beforehand?

"Before you go… Can you at least… Take me to my room?" — Before I run away, I want to take the last thing left from my home. — "I feel more comfortable in a place I know, than another nameless space…"

I attempted to get off the bed, but in vain. If not Dr. Neumiro catching me in the last moments, my body would end up being tumbled on the cold floor.

His warm arms caught me, at first, holding my waist. But as it hurt as hell, my groans seemed to remind him of the wound.

Doctor moved his hands up, his right one went up to my armpit, and the other one suddenly gripped me by my thigh, lifting me up in the air.

"Woah! Wha-!" — He, carrying me like that, is surprised me greatly.

Why? Wouldn't it be better to just leave me here, and ignore my request? Yet, he holds me now, like a child, with its head hanging down, and tears falling to the floor.

I forgot what I wanted to ask him when I caught his hand. His warmness, the artificial smell of the medicine coming from his usual, white coat. Sleek, white hair, like spider web, hanging messily from his head. His face from such a close up…

"You're so light. We need you to eat properly and supplement with vitamins." — He marched through the dark corridors of the place, holding me.

I didn't answer. The desire of eating anything, a dissolving hunger, disappeared long ago. I don't even remember when I last ate anything. It would be nice to… Try something steamy…

It would be nice to sleep and recover before I go… I'm so tired… Even if I didn't do anything…

Just… Suddenly…

The place where all of my worries melt…

Before I could realize, the world around me succumbed in darkness…

•••

Through a maze of the endless corridors, a tall man in a white smock was walking, the faint lights of the floor reflecting in his rectangle glasses. The white strands of his long hair swayed in the air, like gossamer. In his arms he held a person, not visibly appearing to be a man, not a woman. Their short, curly hair swung, synchronizing to the man's steps. The body was inert, looking like if it was in a deep slumber.

"Not too heavy for you, Doc?" — A voice from the other side of the corridor emerged.

On the way of those two, was standing a dark silhouette of a person. In the darkness, the features were smudged with the black surroundings. Yet, the man seemed to recognize the owner of the voice, and not stop his walk.

"Heavier than you, thin prick." — He answered shortly.

The other one seemed to be triggered by that unpleasant reply.

"Ah… You're just like a snowball. But instead, some bad kid has put a stone inside of it and smacked someone's head open. No one would expect a horrifying truth until the bullet pierced their skull. And it appeared to be just an innocent, ball of snow…" — The voice of the mysterious man seemed to be teasing the white-haired man.

"Talks the one who has never even seen snow with his own eyes." — The owner of the voice, holding a body, passed next to the other man, whispering in his ear. He remained calm all of this time.

The other one moved in a blink of the eye, blocking his passage.

"Why are you holding her like that? Not getting too comfortable?" — The unknown person seemed to have gotten really agitated.

"You… You know?!" — The man wearing a white coat seemed to be surprised by the question.

"…I just wonder where the old man is trying to get by doing all of this… He won't tell me. And I don't like when things are being h i d d e n from me." — The anger grew more and more with every word spoken out.

"You… I don't know where y o u are trying to get by doing all the bad things you do."

"That's just my character, as if you didn't already know, Mr. Worldwide."

"Oh, yeah. It's hard to forget how filthy you are. Thanks for reminding me." — The white-haired man remained collected throughout the whole conversation.

He wanted to push away the man standing in his way, but the other one didn't seem to want to move an inch.

"What have you done to her? Why is she sleeping? In your arms?"

"Not your business." — Trying to find a path, the other man blocked him every time. The hands of the body were ineptly moving left and right.

"Don't lie. Aura almost collapsed. She felt something so ominous, her face twisted instantly. And while we were trying to calm her down, you were gone, doing God knows what."

"Young man. You are forgetting that all of this should not concern you."

"…Don't come asking me for help again then!" — The unknown man shouted loudly, pushing the other one aside, marching rapidly into the depths of the corridor behind.

His loud footsteps echoed through the place, disappearing slowly in the distance.

"As if I ever asked you for something, other than getting a grip of yourself. Ah…" — The man who was left by himself, holding a body in his arms, sighed quietly.

He proceeded to go forwards, leaving everything behind. The darkness of the place, the silence of the matter, the worries of the people, the pain of the lies, and an undetected silhouette of yet another person, hiding in the shadows behind a corner.

Their inquisitive glare followed the man, but what was more interesting for the person, was the one being held in the arms.

"I hope it's not you." — A silent whisper so muffled the speaker didn't even hear it. It was left only for the fate itself to listen.