[LXI] — Transparent Plea

"Eat and sleep well. Tomorrow, at the armory at 4 am. Now, you can go." — His smile ended the uncomfortable atmosphere.

Yet still, I could sense the sinister atmosphere around them. They were hesitant to stand up, until Silen did, with no remorse whatsoever.

"I wanna drink so badly today, so sad it's a mission tomorrow." — His irritating words dispelled in the dark corridor leading from the exit.

Everyone else stood up at the same time, and each one went their own way. No more exchanges of thoughts. They were all lost in the unusual set of teams, the old man has decided for.

I didn't realize I was the only one left from them, sitting in place on an uncomfortable chair. But still, at that moment, it seemed like the most comfortable place I've ever been at. My secure home.

"Oh, so stagnant to depart? Do you want to exchange thoughts, perhaps?" — His words made me remember of his existence.

An old man with matte, white hair. His wrinkled face was intriguingly staring at me, as if expecting any explanation.

"I..."

"Did you find the answer you were looking for?"

...

Have I? What I was looking for... At the first place?

I wanted to run away... Because...

Because...

I would always hide an answer before myself.

If I am to stay here... If they need me so much... They can't afford to lose me, then I'll have them listen to my heart.

I was never the kind to speak loudly about my problems and issues, never more about someone being the main cause of them.

Staring blindly into one point on the table, the thoughts in my mind were circulating in the same pattern. I escaped because they pretend to be good, while I feel that everything here is a good set up.

Pinning my nails into the knees, my mouth opened uncontrollably.

"You know, the reactor thing and the fact you locked me there wasn't a really nice thing..."

What the... What have I done?

I can't believe I... Muttered these words out.

My heartbeat was so fast, I could hear it in my ears, the flow of the steamed blood.

I would never be the one to speak about my concerns first, always afraid of hurting others, even the ones I did not particularly like.

"It was necessary, and yet, the results still didn't come out. If I had known your power was so locked, I wouldn't have exposed you to such danger. I must... Apologize."

Huh...

He... Apologizes now...

His stare, it's filled with sorrow.

My head... Suddenly...

It hurts... So much...

"Ah... The struggles the young people go through, to find the place for themselves in this huge world... I understand you. I have been young too. Now, I have nine unstable teenagers under my wings. Not so much chaotic like you, but still... Everyone goes through their struggles. If your coping with problems is running away, then I can't help it. But... Try to control it, or it will cost you more than you have currently lost. You don't even know how big of a pain is to see one of your underlings covered in blood, on the verge of their lives... Like you."

He ended with a longing stare, glaring at the ceiling.

"We know each other so shortly, that's why I understand you. Trust comes slow, in times like these... Do you think I expect too much from you?"

I... Couldn't answer him straight away.

What is it that he exactly expects from me? Is it to be a part of the group, to complete the mission... Or something entirely else?

"It's just strange... That from all of the people, you want me. While everyone around tries to end my life so badly, erase a threat, that I don't even know why is pursued so much, you just decided to change your mind and take me under your wings."

"I told you before, it's because you're special. A one gifted by an anomaly. From millions of the people and timelines this could possibly happen, you were the one to receive this gift." — He continued speaking with a proud smile.

Contrary to his feelings, I did not feel overjoyed. A mysterious hunch surrounded my body.

"You saw it with your own eyes, that there are no special powers in me, apart from the strength that manifests uncalled."

"That's why I tried to quicken the process of awakening. To my demise, it failed, risking your life. I apologize once more."

Yet, despite all of his explanations, there was one odd thing that occurred to my mind.

"When and how did you exactly get to know... I possess such a gift, you're calling it?" — I tried to sound as much unconcerned as I could.

He silenced for a while, with his unmoved gaze set on the point on the floor. An outsider watching this could tell that this lasted shorter than a few seconds, yet for me, it was getting longer and longer.

"To speak the truth... It was Aura who felt... A dissonance in the power field. As if a new precursor of energy appeared suddenly, at the time when you and Silen fought first, in the alleyway. To be honest, our primal goal was to eliminate the threat, you as a witness to our actions. In my orders, I specifically said not to harm you to the extent of death, but as you may know now... Not everyone listens to me. Some of these kids are uncontrollable, because of their harsh background and curved image of freedom. Civilians must not be the objects of our damage, but to some, it doesn't matter as long as our objectives are met. When I specifically said to Silen that you're meant to be injured, and all of the traces of our existence to be proved wrong, he, of course, thought that his idea would be a better choice. To make a ruckus in the smaller part of the district and charge unnecessary attention... And that's when Aura confirmed that someone had an outburst. The descriptions were matching with your analysis. That's why we came to the conclusion, all of this must have been...

...Fate. To, at last, start our mission. Of changing the world around us with the last gear."

His long monologue ended with a faint smile, his eyelids were narrow, as if a sudden feeling of exhaustion surrounded his body.

He was old, just like my aunt. Yet, I wasn't experienced enough to at that time know, what having lived so many years meant. Eternal waiting is doom.

"Well then, I hope I answered the questions you have asked yourself in your mind. If you have anything else to ask me, let's continue tomorrow. I'm quite exhausted now."

He sent me last one of his soft smiles, and proceeded to exit the room quietly.

I was left alone in the meeting room, shaken by his words. So, that is... What it was...

An outburst in the field. I... Did truly feel something like that, back then. But was it  powerful enough to mess with her senses? Why...

Why did it show exactly at that moment?

I... Can't remember any solid details from back then...

When my head started hurting, I decided it should mark the end of the corrosive thoughts eating me out. I stood up to leave the room, and found myself in the middle of an unlighted corridor.

Fuck.

Where is my room anyways?