Mush, Pony!

God, it felt good to be a space pirate again, and with the Batarian Hegemony just sitting there like a lemon, just waiting for me to come wreck their asses and take their stuff I got the double whammy of being a space pirate and a noble hero taking a stand against slavery in the galaxy.

Looks like we've done another U-turn on that topic.

I feel like someone should make an anime of my adventures in space called 'Is it wrong to kill all these aliens and take their stuff?' and drop a Hestia in my lap. Maybe not. Cock might kill a little thing like that. But it'd be fun to find out though.

While I thought these complex thoughts on rape, pillage, and anime tiddies Jack made her way up from the bed and too the bathroom to ralf her dinner up.

Been a real long time since she's done anything like that.

"Eh… you want some help there, champ?" I asked the woman currently praying to the sci-fi porcelain throne.

"Fuck off. I got this shit." She denied like a boss.

"You want to get a med-scan done?" I offered, "The med bay is only one deck down."

"It's just some nausea…" Jack refused, "Its just been so long since I felt like this it took me a while to figure out what the fuck was going on."

"I'm sure it's not a sign of anything." I rolled over and went back to sleep.

In the coming weeks Jack only had a few more instances of nausea before her immune system finished destroying whatever Space AIDS variant was bothering her, and Jack kept leading the boarding parties as we tore our way through Batarian space freeing slaves and slaving ships to sell back on Omega. We were making money hand over fist, which was a real good thing because feeding a crew of Spartan Krogan was fucking expensive, or at least it would be if the Batarians didn't always bring dinner with them. Feeding Jack was getting pretty scary though, and four months into our glorious raiding season she couldn't fit into her armor anymore.

"Damn babe." I sighed, "We are going to have to start cutting your rations because this belly is getting ridiculous."

"I know, but I am just so fucking hungry all the time. I just don't get what is going on." She complained as she absentmindedly rubbed her swelling abdomen.

"How the fuck can you two not understand that she is pregnant!" Wanda yelled from her place on our bed.

"Don't be silly Wanda." I laughed, "Jack and I can't have kids. Our DNA is way wonky."

"I know. I know. You don't have DNA strands, you have DNA megastructures. But how did you two geniuses not figure out that after she ate Krogan everything matches up now?"

"Huh." I frowned, "She's right. Gonna have to get my pull out game back on point."

"Look on the bright side." Wanda smiled as she spread her legs, "You can cum in me all you want."

Can I get a fuck yeah for silver linings? Or pink in this case.

"Yep you are definitely pregnant with a son." I read off the data from Jack's med scan, "Who knows what kind of hell beast this boy is going to be though."

"Isn't that a major cause for concern?" Asked Jean who had taken up medical studies to help out all the people we were freeing from Batarian captivity, "The whole birthing strategy would have to be built around the shape of the child."

"Chill girl." Jack chuckled, "With high speed regeneration like we have the kid could chew his way out of my belly at lunch and I'd be holding him at the dinner table that evening like nothing happened."

"Fuck me I hope it doesn't happen like that." I shook my head, "I have to like the guy afterwards and eviscerating my wife would be a shit first impression."

"You both are taking this really well." Jean commented.

"We've had a life full of rolling with the most outlandish punches anyone has ever had to roll with." Jack laughed, "It was about time something normal happened to us."

"I've been a father thousands of times." I shrugged, "With my experience ruining my children's lives I have a what not to do roadmap that I can use to avoid so many pitfalls the kid's life is bound to be awesome! I literally couldn't do a worse job if I tried."

"Oh my God, I used to sleep with this guy." Jean muttered while looking down at the floor in absolute defeat.

"We are going to kill people and take their stuff and eat them!" I cheered while pumping my fist, "It's going to be a non-stop father-son party from now till the end of foreva!"

This must be how Omni-Man felt when he had Mark. Planning father-son world conquest is tight.

"You've got Grax, God Emperor of Krogankind, Breaker of Chains, and currently eater of this plantation owning Batarian bastard." I greeted while I sat in the luxurious throne located in a gold gilded office on a major Batarian plantation and enjoyed a savory gravy covered roast with vegetables.

"Grax, put the call on full display, I've got someone interested in business with you." Aria spoke on the other end of the line and I placed a holo emitter on the desk just far enough that it wouldn't interfere with the visual presentation of my dinner.

"Oh hey, Liara!" I smiled as a pair of Asari were projected in a warm orange over the desk, "I haven't seen you in like, eighteen years. What's new girl?"

"This is the first time we've met." Liara answered, "But Aria has informed me of your…eccentric existence and you come recommended by someone I trust to shoot straight with me, and he mentioned that you may have a possible solution to a problem I have been working slavishly to fix for a long time now."

"Your beef with the Shadow Broker, right?" I chuckled while I fondly remembered laying hands to the big Yahg in an epic fist fight. "I can have that shit resolved fast. You want to come with or do you just want confirmation the job is done?"

"I am on Omega right now." Liara told me and I nodded my head.

"Mush, pony!" Grunt shouted at the ball-gagged and saddled former Shadow Broker as he rode him around the totally bitchin ship on Hagalaz.

It felt bad doing a former enemy dirty like this, but it was pretty fucking hilarious watching my brothers arguing about who's turn it is to ride one of the most powerful men in the galaxy like a horse. That is some next level big dick power move shit.

"It almost feels unreal how easy this was." Liara stated as we looked out the window at the eternal storm that chased the slowly setting sun.

"Time travel shenanigans for the win girl." I laughed and knocked back the Horn of Party Hardy full of wine from the private stock of the Jade Emperor.

Dude has taste.

"Plus with the way I have integrated the tech of several advanced galaxies together, my Clan are the strongest warriors in almost all of sci-fi." I added.

"Is that what everything is for you. Just an unfolding fiction." she shook her head, "I don't like the way that makes me feel."

"I've always viewed life as an endless series of parallel narratives and it is up to each of us to make sure that we never become supporting characters in our own stories." I told Liara, "Moving through a series of fictional universes doesn't change that."

"And these women you have collected around you like a pack of trading cards?" Liara questioned, "How tenuous is your grip on reality and sentient agency when you do things like that?"

"Jack and Kat are the only two I pursued." I admitted, "Linda is more Jack's lover than mine. Jean and Wanda came to us themselves."

"And now Jean is looking for a way out and has no idea where to find it." she stated.

"Yep." I nodded, "The girl is powerful, educated, and very wealthy. She'll land on her feet wherever she ends up. Whether that is with us or out in the galaxy."

"I didn't expect you to be okay with her leaving." Liara admitted while looking quite embarrassed, "I've been building you up in my head as this unreasonable savage hoarding mates like shiny baubles. I am sorry."

"Jeez Liara," I teased, "you make me sound like some kind of violent madman. What exactly brought this on."

"Jean asked if she could stay with me." Liara said, "It was rather sudden, but I am quite taken with her and the attraction seems mutual."

"Damn." I chuckled, "I just got played by Mrs. Steal Your Girl. Good thing you aren't a male, otherwise I'd have to kill you."

"Thank the goddess for double standards!" Liara threw her hands up in the air in mock praise.

"Amen sister." I laughed, "If I didn't have double standards I wouldn't have any."