Trembling

The moment the thread snapped… everything started to make sense.

The answer had been dangling in front of him this entire time… he had just been too stubborn to accept it.

Time and time again the answer would get shoved up his face…

Time and time again he would reject it…

No, he had 'denied' it.

Now that Sebastian knew how to perfectly clear the current phase, he let himself relax.

He didn't overwork his brain trying to come up with the next crazy plan.

He just took out his notebook and started making notes of the lesson.

He didn't agonize over the injustice he was going through.

He just took in the atmosphere and observed the characteristics of his former classmates.

He didn't boil in rage towards the shooter, or lament over the looming deaths of his classmates…

He just acted as a regular high schooler would.

As if he had absolutely no idea of what was going to happen next.

Truly oblivious and happy within his little world.

"Psst… Hey Josh!"

"Yeah?"

"Nothing…"

"What!!!"

"Forget it! Don't bug me!"

"You were the one who called me!"

"Yeah and now I am saying it's nothing. Stop bothering me!"

"If you don't open your mouth I am going to come over and make you open it dumbass…"

"Ooh, even you can get angry. How funny. Every day, you learn something new."

"Seb this is not funny!"

"I… I just wanted to say… Thanks"

"For what?"

"For everything Josh… Thanks for everything…"

"Why are you acting as if we would never see each other again?"

"It was fun while it lasted Josh. I wish you peace."

"Are you seriously trolling me right now"

"Think whatever you want…"

"This asshole…"

Seb just smirked and went back to bothering his business.

If there was one regret Seb had it was that he hadn't thanked his friends and that he wasn't able to say goodbye properly.

Well, he had the opportunity to do so now.

One last time before it all ends.

"Anna"

"Yes?"

"Thanks!"

"You're welcome."

"…"

"…"

"You won't ask me what I am thanking you for?"

"If I did, would you tell?"

"No…"

"Then?"

"Alright… geez"

It was impossible to involve Anna in a conversation when she was busy studying.

On the other hand, Josh, that monkey, was still jumping around in his seat trying to make sense of Seb's cryptic words.

Seb looked up at the clock.

'It's almost time…'

*Tick* *Tock* *Tick* *Tock*

Seb watched as the second hand advanced slowly but steadily across the face of the clock.

The second hand reached 12.

The end of its journey around the clock signified the time changing to 1:45

*BANG!* *BANG!* *BANG!*

The shooter had as always arrived on time.

As usual, what followed were the screams.

The same rotten story all over again.

Just as the shots began, Sebastian began trembling in his seat.

Yet no matter what, he did not move an inch from it.

*BANG!* *BANG!* *BANG!*

Each time the shots rang out signified the end coming closer and closer.

Yet Sebastian refused to move.

*BANG!* *BANG!* *BANG!*

The message soaked in blood was being sent out once again.

['You will all die here today']

['There is no escape']

['So please ... stay still.']

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Mrs Brown scrambled around, instructing the kids to hide.

Then she rushed to the door only to-

*BANG!* *BANG!* *BANG!*

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Seb then proceeded to push his desk forward, send his chair away and sit on the floor, his back leaning against the wall.

Each time the bullets rang out, his body trembled violently.

Yet he made no attempt to run.

Nor did he try to hide.

He just sat under the cover of his table, out of range from where the shooter's shots would eventually land.

*Crunch* *Crunch*

The shooter walked up to the centre over Mrs Brown's corpse and started firing.

*BANG!* *BANG!* *BANG!*

The same triple beat.

*BANG!* *BANG!* *BANG!*

The same cries of death.

*BANG!* *BANG!* *BANG!*

The same pain

*BANG!* *BANG!* *BANG!*

All over again.

*BANG!* *BANG!* *BANG!*

After all… 'Seb' didn't know what was going to happen…

'He' could only react as a normal high schooler would…

*BANG!* *BANG!* *BANG!*

Cower and hide.

*BANG!* *BANG!* *BANG!*

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Once people stopped dying under the spray, the killer stepped into the lanes.

Navigating the 5 by 4 rows and columns of the classroom, as if completing the travelling salesman problem.

*BANG!*

If someone moved

*BANG!*

If they made a sound

*BANG!*

If they tried to run

*BANG!*

If they tried to rebel

*BANG!*

they all fell one by one.

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Seb watched on as the familiar faces slowly dwindled in number.

Their once vibrant eyes now lay dull and empty.

Just staring off into the distance.

Perhaps they were peering into a reality where they were still alive?

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1:52

Anna's head was blasted off.

Seb slowly dragged what remained of her body towards him.

The headless body lay within his arms, the blood was still fresh and kept spouting out like a fountain from the arteries in her neck, soaking him red from head to toe.

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1:54

Josh slowly dragged his body towards Seb.

His innards were pouring out and his arm was outstretched into the air.

Seb reached out and held Josh's hand.

"What is it Josh?"

"I think… I am dying"

"I can see that Josh…"

"Seb… my friend…"

"Yes, Josh"

"Please promise one thing to me."

"I will Josh."

"Please don't…" Josh's voice slowly grew faint as his words hung in the air.

"Go on..."

"… forget me."

"You need to stop dividing your sentences in half you idiot..." Seb smiled wryly.

"…"

"Josh?"

Seb called his name after not getting any response.

"…"

"Josh…"

He called out a second time.

"…"

But all he saw was Josh silently staring at Seb, the last flicker of light in his eyes stubbornly held on as he waited for Seb's response.

"I promise … Josh."

Seb dragged Josh's dying body towards himself and placed it right next to Anna's.

"I promise to not forget you Josh."

"….thanks…." Josh was only able to mutter out one last syllable before the light left his eyes.

Seb raised a hand and gently closed Josh's eyes.

"This time… I won't forget."

"I will remember you forever this time Josh."

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*BANG!* A gunshot rang out in the distance.

Seb's body trembled a bit before calming down.

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1:56

Seb stayed still in his spot.

He was leaning back against the rear of the classroom.

His legs were spread out in front of him like a dead starfish.

Lying above his body were the still warm corpses of Anna and Josh.

His entire body was drenched red in blood, despite there not being a single wound in his body.

The only spots that weren't red were two tear stains running down his cheeks.

The blood had been washed away by the salty substance and his skin was visible underneath.

There would be no way to determine whether or not he was also a corpse if not for the trembling of his body whenever a gunshot rang out.

*BANG!*

Seb trembled again.

The scene in front of him had started to overlap with another one from the past.

*Click* *Clack*

Somewhere close by, he could hear the shooter reload and pump his gun again.

The footsteps of the shooter slowly and steadily made their way towards him.

Eventually, his line of sight was obstructed by a pair of bright red shoes.

Perhaps it was once a different colour, but now the shoes had been long dyed red by the blood and innards of countless students.

Seb's eyeballs slowly went upwards and came to stop once they met with those of the shooter.

Dark brown eyes filled with intense rage. Rage at the world, rage towards itself, Rage towards everything and everyone in existence.

Rage towards the very concept of existence.

However, when the shooter looked into Seb's eyes, he found a rage that equalled or perhaps even surpassed his own.

That's right.

Seb had not been trembling in fear.

He had been trembling in rage.

Whenever he heard the shots firing, he felt the anger rise from inside him.

But he had to stay still.

He had to sit and wait for the shooter to come and look into his eyes to see which one of them was in more rage.

Just like that day four years ago.

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The shooter stared into Seb's eyes for a while before shaking his head.

The shooter just turned around and walked out of the class deciding to pretend that he thought the kid was already dead.

Seb was left lying on the ground buried under the corpses of his two best friends.

Alone but Alive.

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Exactly how it happened on the 2nd of February 2019.